Jokes That Perfectly Sum Up The Delightful Agony Of Having A Crush
People sometimes act like crushes are restricted to the playground and high school halls, but I am here to say that crushes have no age limit. I spend at least 50% of my waking hours thinking about my crush and have no idea what I would do with my time if a wasn’t obsessed over our fictional love story.
Having a crush is an emotional roller coaster that we’re all too willing to line up for. Here are some hilariously relatable jokes about what it’s like to have a crush.
A Sad Reality On My Part
I’ll be posted up at the bar, thinking that I’m giving sultry eyes to my crush across the crowd when in reality, he’s wondering why a literal gremlin is staring at him.
Can I Get “Crush Leave” From Work?
I’m ashamed to admit that I spent way too much of my time waiting around and hoping that my crush will text me, and actually put off making plans in case he later asks if I want to go out. I am so tragic.
The Universe Hates You
On the days I have my makeup done perfectly, my hair looking good, and a killer outfit, I don’t see anyone I know. Then I go out looking like a piece of trash for 20 minutes and see everyone.
New Stalking Material
You know it’s going to be the first thing to show up on the timeline too, because I clearly stalk him way too much and the algorithm knows I’m thirsty.
How Dare You Disrupt My Personal Fantasy
It’s kind of like when your celebrity crush gets into a relationship and you feel upset. I mean, I know we would never actually be together, but it was fun to think about.
Acting On My Feelings? Couldn’t Be Me
I am such a nervous wreck who’s terrified of rejection that my crush could literally ask me to marry him and I’d still be like, “I don’t think he was talking to me! I have to play it cool!”
Even If I Do Make The Move, I Accidentally Play Myself
Even if I did work up the confidence to ask my crush to hangout, I probably would expose myself as a nervous loser who has stalked their Facebook and Instagram pages too many times.
I Have A Crush For Every Location
Is it juvenile that I’ll wait until my gym crush is nearby behind me before I start my set of squats so I know he sees how good I look in those leggings? Maybe. Will I stop doing it? Nope.
Everyone Should Be Legally Obligated To Answer This Question On Demand
There’s nothing like trying to discern whether your crush is giving you signs that they’re into you or if your crazy brain is taking average actions and blowing them out of proportion because you’re smitten.
Time To Break My Own Heart! Hehe
He’s not interested in being a relationship with me and we’ll never be together? I’m still going to think about him nonstop and develop a storyline in which we work out, making reality a nightmare where none of my dreams come true!
I’m Normally Not This Clumsy, I Swear
The worst part is that I’m so composed and cool when I’m around guys that I don’t care about, but the second my crush walks into the room I become an absolute loser idiot.
While I Have Many Crushes, None Really Last
It’ll only have been a few days of one crush when a new cute barista will start working at my favorite coffee shop and the original crush will get dropped from the roster.
I Love To Jump To Conclusions
Rationally, I know that I talk to people and like photos on Instagram all the time without being in love with them, but if my crush so much as glances at another girl, he is definitely about to propose to her.
I’m Non-Stop Screaming On The Inside
I’ll be trying my absolute hardest to seem like I’m chill around my crush, but in reality, my heart is racing, my blood is rushing to my face, and I want to scream in joy.
Time To Put Him On A Pedestal
I get that my crush is probably just a regular dude who washes his hands with Dawn dish soap on a daily basis, but in my mind, he is a unique, beautiful soul.
Your Interests Are My Interests Now
I once had a really intense crush on a guy who always wore a t-shirt with a band name on it, so I spent four hours listening to every song they ever recorded so I could talk to him about them.
Crushes Are Forever
I’m not going to lie, if the Cory from my high school’s basketball team who I had a crush on for my entire junior and senior years slid into my DMs, I would get very flustered.
This Is The Mantra From Now Until January 1st
I know it’s dumb, but I’m still going to spend every 11:11, shooting star, and waking moment of my existence wishing that my crush will notice and fall for me next year.
…Even If This Is The Sad Reality
It’ll be midnight and I’ll be lying in bed thinking about my crush with hope in my heart while he’s at a girl’s house falling in love with her and doing the naked tango.
I Should Probably Give Up On Crushes
If I didn’t waste so much time thinking about my crushes, I would probably be better at basic multiplication and maybe also have some interesting hobbies. But, alas, will lie on my bed and daydream about Chris instead.