I Finally Figured Out The Reason Men Are So Bad At Texting—Here’s Why

Before you get too excited, I don’t have a magic formula figured out. However, I have been ghosted and have dealt with enough men who were terrible at texting that I picked up a few things.

The biggest lesson was that it usually had nothing to do with me and everything to do with them. Here are some of the reasons I found.

They Just Hate It

man smiling at his phone at a bar
Photo Credit: Austin Distel / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Austin Distel / Unsplash

It’s not that they’re bad at texting, he just doesn’t enjoy it. It feels like a chore. They would rather pretend the phone doesn’t exist and live in their video game.

Then they can miss you and make the most of your quality time together. “I don’t text between dates really. I’ll respond and use a girl’s outreach as an opportunity to schedule the next date. Would rather save the talking for in-person.” – deleted / Reddit

They Don’t Feel Like Talking

man sits by the water and pushes his hair up
Photo Credit: Nathan Cowley / Pexels
Photo Credit: Nathan Cowley / Pexels

Talking can be tiring. Sometimes they simply don’t want to deal with all the follow-up texts that come with responding.

They don’t want to upset you or confuse you with short answers so they avoid the conversation in the first place.

They’re Not Good At Multi-Tasking

woman takes away controller from man in bed
Photo Credit: Gustavo Fring / Pexels
Photo Credit: Gustavo Fring / Pexels

Men aren’t as good at multi-tasking as women tend to be. Instead, they get caught up in whatever they’re doing and while absorbed they completely forget about the world around them.

They might try to text you all day in the beginning but it’s not sustainable for them in the long term.

They Don’t Experience Relationships In The Same Way

man looking off to the distance while sitting on stool
Photo Credit: Martin Pechy / Pexels
Photo Credit: Martin Pechy / Pexels

Women tend to associate how much a guy texts them with how much he cares about them. They figure they’re thinking of him and want to talk so they can’t figure out why he wouldn’t do the same.

For men, it’s not about how often or quickly they text you back but rather about how long they can go without talking to you.

They’re Just Procrastinating

man puts his head in washing machine in swetpants
Photo Credit: Thomas Dumortier / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Thomas Dumortier / Unsplash

While it can be frustrating waiting by the phone for ages, it’s usually their own problem.

Some men are just big procrastinators and will put off anything and everything until the very last second. They do it to their laundry too so don’t take it personally.

It’s Just An Excuse

man gives thumbs up with engiennering project
Photo Credit” Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
Photo Credit” Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels

Be careful because sometimes when a guy says he’s not responding because he’s a bad texter, it’s just an excuse.

He’s just not that interested or willing to put in the effort. You can tell the difference by how consistent this kind of behavior is and whether they try to make up for it in person.

They Want To Keep It Casual

man and woman sit on bench talking
Photo Credit: Jodie Louise / Pexels
Photo Credit: Jodie Louise / Pexels

Some guys believe that texting you every day is like a marriage proposal. They get scared of the commitment and the pace of it so they take ten steps back in retaliation.

Rather than push it’s usually best to let these kinds of guys be the ones to come to you when they’re ready.

They’re Afraid To Say How They Really Feel

man and woman at a dinner date looking at each other
Photo Credit: Cotton Bro / Oexels
Photo Credit: Cotton Bro / Oexels

Yes, this isn’t what you wanted to hear but some men find it easier to ghost you than to simply let you know that they’re not into you.

They run away from any conversation that has to do with feelings whether it’s a positive one or one that risks hurting you.

They’re Genuinely Busy

man looking at his watch close up
Photo Credit: Jeshoots / Pexels
Photo Credit: Jeshoots / Pexels

It’s not that they’re ignoring your text. It’s that they haven’t even had a chance to check their phone. This is even more true for single dads and men who devote themselves to their careers.

Usually, they’ll text you when they can give it appropriate attention.

They’re Lazy

man laying branch lazily
Photo Credit: Zhang Kenny / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Zhang Kenny / Unsplash

I’m not saying this is a good reason not to text someone back as it takes literally thirty seconds to say ‘hi’, but it’s true.

Often men will pick up their phone, read your text, and put it back down because they’re too lazy to use their fingers to respond.

They’re Bad At Communication

man and woman talk on couch
Photo Credit: Andres Ayrton / Pexels
Photo Credit: Andres Ayrton / Pexels

A lot of men are taught to keep their emotions bottled up so they don’t learn how to properly communicate.

Often they struggle to express what they want and can’t find the words to make you happy.

They’re Being Manipulative

man trying to talk to woman behind her
Photo Credit: Keira Burton / Pexels
Photo Credit: Keira Burton / Pexels

“I’m bad at texting” could just be the beginning of a line of toxic behavior. It’s a way to flip the table on you so that you can’t be upset at him anymore not that he’s warned you.

You’ll know he’s toxic if he’s rude to you and dismisses your feelings when you confront him about texting.

They Don’t See Your Worth

man and woman at bar looking upset
Photo Credit: Cotton Bro / Pexels
Photo Credit: Cotton Bro / Pexels

It’s only logical to assume that a guy won’t reciprocate the time you spend on him as a sign that he doesn’t value.

If he can’t see the worth of your time, then he doesn’t respect you in the way that you deserve.

They’re Worried About Misinterpretation

woman looking at her phone and texting by night window
Photo Credit: Mikotoraw / Pexels
Photo Credit: Mikotoraw / Pexels

Some of us tend to read into texts which scares guys out of sending them in the first place.

They’d rather talk to you in person where they can’t send the wrong emoji or not sound enthusiastic enough.

It Depends On Their Love Language

man and woman on date looking into each other's eyes
Photo Credit: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
Photo Credit: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels

Each love language values communication differently. If his love language is quality time or physical touch then he probably doesn’t give much importance to texting.

The five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. Try finding out which one is his!

There’s No One Good Answer

man pushes up forehead in confusion
Photo Credit: Nathan Dumlao / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Nathan Dumlao / Unsplash

When I said that I figured out why guys are bad at texting, I meant that it’s never just one reason. It’s usually a mixture of all the reasons above.

The fact of the matter is if they care they should show you and if you’re questioning it then they’re not putting in enough effort, otherwise, the texting wouldn’t matter as much.