The old saying goes, “till death do you part”, but it seems like that’s not really the case as often as it used to be.
Maybe it’s true sometimes, but a ring on a finger doesn’t always mean someone is unavailable. Or does it?
Marriage Looks Different Today For A Lot Of People, But Not Everyone
First things first — before you shame us for saying that “a ring doesn’t make someone unavailable,” think about open marriages.
Marriage looks a lot different for some people today, but it’s still more likely that any dude getting his flirt on while wearing a ring is being sketchy as hell.
Are You Misreading The Signs Or Is He Really Flirting?
If you started noticing a vibe between yourself and a married man, you’re probably wondering whether you’re reading the signs right.
It could be a colleague, friend, or stranger, but you’re picking up on something more than a casual friendship.
Marriage Doesn’t Stifle Feelings Of Lust And Curiosity
Being married doesn’t prevent someone from potentially falling for someone new. It’s just a matter of whether they choose to pursue those feelings or not.
There are some signs to watch out for that can help you confirm that you are definitely being hit on by a married guy.
Watch For Body Language Cues
If he is looking for a sneaky hookup or some kind of one-time “lapse in judgment,” he’s likely not going to come right out and tell you his intentions.
It’s more likely that you’ll be able to pick up on his body language and physical behaviors.
He’s Big On Physical Contact
Body language to take note of includes opening up his chest towards you, standing closer than usual, and finding small reasons to make contact and touch you whenever possible.
Other less conscious signs can look like pupil dilation and him mirroring your own movements.
He’s Weirdly Interested In Your Love Life
Have you noticed that this guy wants all the dirty details from your love life but never wants to talk about his own relationship? Since he can’t date you, he’ll be curious about the guys who can.
He could be trying to live vicariously through your stories. It seems a bit weird but he probably doesn’t even notice he’s doing it.
He’s Overly Critical About Other Men In Your Life
If he’s really into you, he’s going to be super judgmental and critical about any potential love interests in your life. Nobody will be good enough for you in his jealous eyes.
The reason he thinks nobody will be good enough is that, at least once, he’s pictured himself as your ideal partner.
He Admits That He “Likes” You
If he admits that he’s into you, it’s not necessarily a profession of his love or anything, but it’s more like he’s testing the unfaithful waters. Saying he likes you isn’t enough to be considered cheating, but it’s flirty enough to push the envelope.
However, if he doesn’t receive any kind of mutual interest, he could shut you out completely.
He’s Opening Up About Personal Problems
He’s started opening up to you about issues he’s having at home or at work, even though you’re not necessarily the person that he would usually vent to about these things.
When a man feels close to someone he’s more likely to show off a bit of his vulnerable side. He’s showing you that he values your opinion and even trusts you to keep things between you two.
He’s Taken Off His Wedding Ring
Obviously, this is a pretty blatant signal that he’s past the flirting stage and ready to cross the line.
At the point of the ring removal, it’s time to have a straight-up conversation about his intentions. If you’re feeling like he’s working up to actually cheating with you, it’s best to be clear about boundaries early on.
He Seems To Keep An “Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind” Philosophy
Removing his wedding ring doesn’t wipe your memory over the fact that he’s married.
It could be a subconscious gesture instead of a deliberate one, but either way, losing sight of the ring by putting it away is a sort of “out of sight out of mind” solution for him.
He Can’t Stop Talking About His Wife At Random Times
This might seem counter-productive or like he’s bringing her up to try and remind you that he’s married.
It’s actually the opposite– he’s trying to remind himself as often as possible that he’s committed to someone else. He may even be trying to prevent you from making a move that he won’t have the willpower to reject.
He Does Not Want You To Meet His Wife
He treats you like his best friend but refuses to meet you around his house or his wife. He will actually go out of his way to prevent you two from meeting in public spaces or at events.
He’s probably battling a fear that if his wife saw how he behaves around you she would immediately know he has feelings for you. She may already have suspicions about his intentions and meeting you would confirm them.
He’s Desperate To Spend Any Time Alone With You
He may never openly admit that he’s attracted to you or interested in cheating, maybe not even to himself.
But he will be desperate to be near you and spend some one-on-one time with you at every moment. Remember how Jim made every single moment with Pam count in The Office? Same deal. Coffee breaks get longer, lunches stretch past an hour, etc.
It Comes Down To How You React
You can’t control his behavior, so it ultimately comes down to how you react to the feelers he’s sending out in your direction.
If you’re picking up on these signs and reciprocating them, he will interpret it as all green lights.
Is It Time To Cut Ties?
Getting involved with a married man who is not in a mutually open relationship is messy business, and it’s probably best to cut ties with him now.
Ask yourself if you were in his wife’s shoes, would you be comfortable with how he talks and acts when he’s around you? If the answer is no, you know it’s a bad situation.