How To Tell If Your Ex Still Has Feelings For You

Just when you thought the relationship was over, your phone starts blowing up again. Your ex wants to talk, then they don't. They're hot and cold, and it's leaving you more confused than ever. Do you shut down the resurfacing feelings, or entertain them?

To understand what it all means, you need to first recognize their intentions and whether they still have feelings for you.

They Still Light Up Your Phone

Texting
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Photo Credit: Hannah Busing / Unsplash

If they're still checking in every once in a while, it could mean a few things that all come down to them still caring about you. It could mean that they can't help but wonder what you're up to, or they are having a hard time adjusting to life without you.

Either way, you feel like a missing piece to them.

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They Still Follow All Your Accounts

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Photo Credit: John Schnobrich / Unsplash
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If your ex still has feelings for you, then they probably can't bear the thought of you moving on and being happy without them. They will obsessively check your accounts for any clues that you miss them just as much as they miss you.

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They Find Any Excuse To Still Come See You

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Phoo Credit: Cotton bro / Pexels
Phoo Credit: Cotton bro / Pexels
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If they happen to have forgotten a pack of gum at your house, they will make a point of coming to ask for it in hopes of seeing you in person. This is their way of feeling out what your dynamic is like now in person without explicitly asking to hang out.

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They Run Into You At The Places You Frequent

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Photo Credit: Cassandra Hamer / Unsplash
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If you've dated, then they are surely aware of your routine and your favorite coffee shops. If you happen to bump into them, don't look at it so much as a coincidence, but rather as an effort on their part to see you without having to ask.

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They Bring Up Happy Memories

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Photo Credit: Sarandy westfall / Unsplash
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If they're feeling nostalgic about places and things you used to do together, it's likely because they don't want to let those times go.

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If they snap you a picture of your favorite restaurant with the caption "remember when..." it's not an innocent reminder, it's them hoping that you could create memories like that again.

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You're Still On Their Drunk Dial List

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Photo Credit: Chase Chappell / Unsplash
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There's a reason that expressions like "a man's true character comes out when he’s drunk" by Charlie Chaplin and "a drunk man's words are a sober man’s thoughts" are so popular.

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Alcohol has the ability to amplify whatever you are feeling in the moment, so if they miss you, it's likely to come out then.

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They're Still Angry At You

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Angry
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Photo Credit: Icons 8 team / Unsplash
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If someone is over you, they're more likely to just ignore you or show indifference. Anger is not the opposite of love. Indifference is.

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If they're angry at you, it's because some part of them isn't over the situation and doesn't have closure from you.

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They Try To Make You Jealous

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Photo Credit: Polina Zimmerman / Pexels
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This might be the oldest trick in the book, but that's because it never gets old. If they're trying to show off a new achievement, or if they make a point of telling you that they're on a date, they're trying to get a reaction out of you and make you want them.

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Their Rebound Is Suspiciously Similar To You

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Photo Credit: Carly Rae Hobbins / Unsplash
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If your ex is dating someone who seems very similar to you, there is a good chance it's because they're trying to replace you. This usually happens on a subconscious level. If you think they moved on really fast, they are probably just on a rebound to try and forget you.

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Except, because they're still thinking about you, they end up with someone who reminds them of you.

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They Ask About You Through Your Friends

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Photo Credit: Yanapi Senaud / Unsplash
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They can't do it directly, but they can't help themselves when they're around someone who knows you. They might try to not make it obvious, but all they want is every detail about how you're doing and if you miss them.

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They Don't Respect You Asking For No Contact

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No Contact
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Photo Credit: Kev Cotsello / Unsplash
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It's very common to ask for space after a breakup. It gives you time to readjust to life without each other. If they're refusing to stop contacting you, it's likely because they worry you will forget about them during that time, and they don't want you moving on.

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They Go Out Of Their Way To Completely Avoid You

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Photo Credit: John Arano / Unsplash
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Taking it to the other extreme, they might go out of their way not to say hi to you at a party or take the long way to not pass you. This is an indicator that they're not over you. They are nervous about being around you, and they don't know how they'd react. Otherwise, they just wouldn't care.

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They Revert Back To Old Habits When You Do See Each Other

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Cuddles
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Photo Credit: Cotton Bro / Pexels
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Once you break up, you're supposed to form new habits if you decide to hang out again, such as less touching and no pet names. If they can't help but let these habits slip, odds are they don't want to and feel most happy and comfortable acting like you're still together.

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They Take Responsability For How They Wronged You

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Photo Credit: Trinity Kubassek / Pexels
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This is a big step for your ex to take. It means they've taken the time to analyze what happened and care enough to apologize for it. They want to show you that they learned and grew from it, so that maybe you realize that you'd give them a second chance.

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They Won't Give You Your Stuff Back

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Photo Credit: Erol Ahmed / Unsplash
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This is probably because they don't want to accept that you're leaving them, so they're trying to hold on to every last reason that you would need to talk to them. Some part of them thinks that the longer they have it, the more time you have to change your mind.

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It's a way of holding on to a part of you when you aren't there.

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They're Suddenly Into Personal Growth

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Photo Credit: Damir Spanic / Unsplash
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It's definitely recommended for both parties to work on self-improvement after a breakup. If theirs is very sudden and very extreme, it might just be a way to get your attention and show you that they're willing to make the changes you're looking for.

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For example, if you always wanted to be in nature and suddenly they're posting a bunch of pics of them on hikes, it might be to get to you.

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They Want To Sit Down To Talk About What Happened

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Photo Credit: Cotton Bro / Pexels
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If they're asking to get together to discuss what went wrong, it means they're either looking for closure or checking if there's still any chance of trying again.

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They might be preparing for this moment as their last chance to plead with you to try again or at least find some closure because of their residual feelings.

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They're Still Putting In Effort

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Gift
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Photo Credit: Kira Auf Der Heide / Unsplash
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If you're not dating anymore but your ex is still wishing you and your mom a happy birthday, then they might have a bit more of an agenda then simple birthday wishes. Your ex is showing you, either on purpose or not, that these things still matter to them and that you're on their mind.

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They Have Nothing Good To Say About Your New Flings

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Photo Credit: Priscilla Du Preez / Unsplash
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They'll tell you they're happy you moved on because they feel like they have to, then they'll proceed to point out every possible flaw in this new flame. They'll tell you that you can do better. That's because, in their eyes, no one can love you like them, and they wish they still had you.

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Just Bite The Bullet And Ask Them

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Ask
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Photo Credit: Priscilla Du Preez / Unsplash
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If you've gone through all these signs and you're still not sure, it might be time to just straight up ask your ex how they feel. Make sure you know what you want first, so you're prepared for whatever their answer is.

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They might deny it simply because they're not ready to give you hope again, or they might take it as an opportunity to ask for what they really want.