If you’re at the stage in the dating game when you’re trying to decide if it’s worth getting more serious with someone, there are some important things to consider.
First and foremost, it’s crucial that you and your partner have the same maturity level.
Dating In Your Late 20s Comes With Different Expectations
“Right person, wrong time” is a theme that seems to play out in real life more often than necessary.
When you meet someone as a young adult, it’s quite possible that neither of you have things figured out in a way that will allow you to be truly happy in your relationship.
They Should Have Their Sh*t Together By This Stage
By the time you’re dating in your late 20s, it’s not too much to ask that your potential partner have their lives mostly together.
Of course, people’s version of success may look different than yours, but if you’re on the same page emotionally and mentally you should be able to get along easily enough.
There Are Signs That Someone Could Be Too Immature For You
There are some tell-tale signs that the person you’re interested in might be too immature to lock things down in a relationship.
Keep reading to find out which characteristics to watch out for in a partner to help you decide if you are wasting your time on them.
They’re A Super Slob
If the person you’re dating is a complete slob, it’s time to do some reevaluating while it’s still early in the relationship.
It’s one thing to randomly leave a few things lying around the house here and there but if it becomes a constant habit to leave your mutual spaces completely trashed it’s a problem that needs addressing.
They Don’t Respond Well To Criticism Or Compromise
If you bring up your concerns about tidiness to your partner and they react by brushing it off, freaking out, or dismissing you entirely, they’re probably too immature for you.
Your concerns are valid and should be listened to. If they’re not willing to at least make an effort to improve, they’re not worth your time.
You Are Always Footing The Bill
Everybody approaches finances in relationships differently, but if you find that you’re always footing the bill, it could be time to cut your connection (and funds).
You should never have to take on the existing financial responsibilities of the person you’re dating like their car payment, rent, or groceries.
They Are Unable To Support Themselves Financially
If your partner is unable to support themselves financially for long periods of time, it’s a sign that they may not be reliable for you in the future.
You may start to feel like you’re supporting their lifestyle more than your own. If they are not mature enough to balance their own finances, they may start to take advantage of yours.
They Compare You To Their Ex Partner
Another sign of emotional immaturity is if your partner constantly compares you to their ex.
There is a reason they are not together anymore and they should never try to make you feel like they are doing you a favor by choosing to be with you.
They Gaslight You Instead Of Communicating
Saying things like “Jess never would have made me choose between these” is just a way to try to manipulate you into feeling like you are being irrational.
If things were so great with Jess, they would still be together. Maybe they should be.
Their Parents Influence Every Single Decision
Family values can be a core personality trait to search for in a partner. The problem comes when someone lets their parents dictate their entire lives—everything from their financial decisions to who they date.
This can be especially challenging if they still live with their parents and have absolutely no motivation to move out.
Independence Is Attractive
If you find that you’re constantly having to consult your partner’s parents before making decisions about things like vacations or when something inconvenient happens, it’s possible that they still rely way too much on them.
Some help from our parents can be great, but not if it’s overbearing and your partner has no issue with it.
They Choose Their Friends Over You
Realistically, sometimes things are gonna pop up and friends will come first. If you get ditched for the friend group with a solid reason, it’s pretty acceptable.
What’s not acceptable is being ditched by your partner for their friends multiple times. Your partner should respect your time and never push you to the backburner. You count as a friend too.
They’re Obsessed With Low-Grade Comedy And Quote It All The Time
If you and your partner have drastically different senses of humor, you might find it hard to relate to them.
If your partner’s entire sense of humor revolves around rated R cartoons that high school students tend to love, they may not have the same maturity level as you. They should be confident enough to have their own sense of humor.
They Say They’re A “Bad Texter” But Don’t Communicate Any Other Way
If your partner claims they are a “bad texter” but always seems to be on their phone, they are full of crap. Saying things like “I hate texting,” or “I don’t use my phone much in the day” are just excuses to get out of talking to you.
They could always call if they truly hate texting, but clearly just don’t understand the importance of communication and it’s a red flag you should deal with sooner rather than later.