How To Protect Yourself From Getting Ghosted
Dating is scary, especially in this day and age when there are so many different ways that people can bail on you. Dating using apps has made it that much easier for people to just ghost you instead of acting like a grown adult and ending things.
Here are some ways to look out for yourself and protect yourself from getting involved with someone who might ghost.
Make Actual Plans
It sounds like a bit of a no-brainer, but it's important to make actual plans with someone, especially when you first start talking. This will help them know that you're interested.
Especially If You Met On An App
This is especially true if you met on an app like Tinder or Bumble, where the chances of being ghosted by someone seem much higher before you even meet.
You have to avoid too much pre-hang-out talk, which can seem pointless or turn you off from someone if they're not good at messaging.
Ask Lots Of Questions
We all want someone to ask us a bunch of questions when we first start seeing someone, but we have to make sure that we're asking a lot of questions too.
They Need To Know You're Interested
Don't try and keep a dying conversation alive, but if they seem receptive, ask them questions about themselves to see if you have surface-level stuff in common like hobbies or views.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Someone can tell you everything you want to hear until they are blue in the face, but that doesn't mean that they're genuine or that they plan on sticking around.
They've Got To Be Consistent
No one is going to be their best self all the time, and life gets busy, but if he only seems genuinely interested in you when he feels like you're not interested in him anymore, he's probably not someone super trustworthy.
Keep An Eye Open For Mixed Signals
Don't let someone play the hot and cold game with you. If one second they seem like they can't wait to hang out again and the next second they're listing all the reasons they have to bail, they might be prone to ghosting.
You Deserve Better Than That Anyway
It's easy to ignore those red flags when you have rose-colored glasses on, but you need to keep a clear head about you so you can see if you're getting those mixed signals.
See What His Thoughts Are About The Future
If you've been seeing each other for a while, start asking him questions about the future and where he sees you in it. Those aren't abnormal questions to be asking.
If He Gets Weird, You Know
If he starts being dodgy about answering those questions or doesn't intend on introducing you to any of the people in his life, then chances are he doesn't see a permanent place for you in his life. Ghosters are cowards. They might just not know how to end things, so don't be afraid to do it yourself.
Don't Rush Anything
Try not to move too quickly. It's easy to want to do everything right away when you meet someone you like, but there is a good chance that moving too quickly might scare someone away.
Try And Keep Your Wits About You
Like we said, if you've been seeing someone awhile, you should be able to ask more serious questions, but the second and third date might be too soon to ask them to be your boyfriend. Don't rush the time you spend getting to know one another.
Don't Trust Someone Who Seems Overly Romantic
You might feel like you hit the jackpot if you meet a guy who likes to go on about meeting his soulmate or who likes making big romantic gestures for his partner.
But That Isn't Sustainable
People who believe in those sorts of happily-ever-afters are more likely to ghost on someone and think it's an acceptable way to end a relationship because it will feel justified. Anything in the name of love, right?
Accept Them For Who They Are
The last thing you want to do when you start dating someone new is make a list of all the things you wish were different about them. That isn't fair to you or to them.
It's A Waste Of Time
Not only is it a waste of your time, but also a waste of theirs, because if they aren't the right person for you in the beginning, chances are they won't be later on.
Accept That Everyone Has Flaws
Don't try to ignore the fact that your new person has flaws. Falling for the idea of someone is something that we've all done. It's hard when someone checks almost all of your boxes.
But, We're All Flawed
Even you have your own flaws that will make trouble in a relationship. That's why it's important to be upfront about yours and not turn a blind eye to theirs.
Pay Attention To The Stories They Tell
You can tell a lot about someone by the stories that they tell you, especially when they're trying to impress you. If they tell you about how crazy someone they used to date was, or how they've ghosted someone in the past? He'll probably do it to you.
You'll Catch Them In A Lie
Besides, if they're telling you things about themselves or their past that seem too good to be true, it's probably because they are. Sooner or later it will all come out.
