How To Flirt, Whether You’re A Hottie Or A Nottie

Flirting—the first step toward getting to know someone you want to date. It seems simple in theory but can be much more difficult in practice. Am I being too touchy? Am I just coming across as friendly? Do they know I think they’re smoking hot?

However, there are some basic ways that you can elevate your flirting game to help you catch some hunnies.

Let Your Eyes Do A Lot Of The Talking

close up of woman's blue eyes
Photo Credit: Pexels / Dhyamis Kleber
Photo Credit: Pexels / Dhyamis Kleber

Our eyes are one of the most expressive parts of our bodies, so you should use them to your advantage.

Convey how you’re feeling in looks—toss an eyebrow up or a sneaky little glance here or there.

Ask Questions About Them

question mark on blackboard
Photo Credit: Pexels / Pixabay
Photo Credit: Pexels / Pixabay

People, in general, like to talk about themselves and the things they like and, therefore, like the people who ask them about those things.

Ask a few questions that show you want to know who they really are and what they care about.

Don’t Underestimate The Power Of Physical Proximity

man and woman walking close to each other
Photo Credit: Pexels / Israelzin Oliveira
Photo Credit: Pexels / Israelzin Oliveira

There are a lot of aspects of body language that are key to flirting, but simply being close to them is powerful.

Simply standing near them with your body faced towards them does wonders.

Smile At Them

woman smiling holding smily face balloon
Photo Credit: Pexels / Ava Motive
Photo Credit: Pexels / Ava Motive

It might seem a little basic, but sometimes when we’re caught up in trying to impress someone, we can accidentally look a little too serious.

Smiles convey a warmth and happiness that’s naturally attractive.

Don’t Be Too Aggressive

woman on top of man on top of bed
Photo Credit: Pexels / Pixabay
Photo Credit: Pexels / Pixabay

Don’t run into flirting too fast and furious.

Flirting should be a bit like dancing—the talking, touches, and cues you give off should bounce off each other. It should feel easy and light.

Tease Them In A Way That’s Not Mean

man and woman looking at each other in park
Photo Credit: Pexels / Vera Arsic
Photo Credit: Pexels / Vera Arsic

Poking a little fun at someone in a funny manner is a great way to show interest and create a little sexual tension between the two of you.

The important thing is that the teasing should be light—don’t get mean.

Ask Them For A Small Favor

man and woman sitting in kitchen
Photo Credit: Pexels / cottonbro
Photo Credit: Pexels / cottonbro

It can be something as small as them holding your bag while you tie your shoes.

Psychologically, we like people who ask us to do a small favor because it subconsciously sets up the expectation that they’d do something nice sometime in return.

Try To Relate To What They’re Saying

man and woman close and making intense eye contact
Photo Credit: Pexels / Jep Gambardella
Photo Credit: Pexels / Jep Gambardella

If they’re talking about something they like, try to find a way to relate to their interests or create some level of common ground.

We in general like people we think we can relate to.

Compliment Something Subtle About Them

man and woman staring into each other's eyes at night
Photo Credit: Pexels / Katerina Holmes
Photo Credit: Pexels / Katerina Holmes

Any genuine compliment is good, but complimenting something subtle is even better.

This allows them to be flattered and feel seen: it makes the compliment stand out even more to them and makes you more memorable.

Split Your Gaze Between Their Lips And Eyes

close up of man's face
Photo Credit: Pexels / Italo Melo
Photo Credit: Pexels / Italo Melo

The eyes are coming back into play.

One of the most natural ways to convey interest is to make eye contact, glance down at their lips, and then look back at their eyes.

Play A Little Coy

woman playing with her hair
Photo Credit: Pexels / Myicahel Tamburini
Photo Credit: Pexels / Myicahel Tamburini

It’s the little things, like looking away for a bit if you’re in a group conversation before refocusing on the target of your desire.

It’s kind of like a fun little game and it makes it easier to draw the other person in.

Treat Them Like A Human Being

woman peering across table camera, smiling
Photo Credit: Pexels / Andrea Piacquadio
Photo Credit: Pexels / Andrea Piacquadio

This might sound like low-hanging fruit, but some people flirt in a way that kind of just makes their target person feel like a romantic conquest.

Treat them like a fully formed person with their own lives and interests, the way you would with any person you normally would meet.

Find A Way To Form A Little Inside Joke

man and woman laughing together
Photo Credit: Pexels / Keira Burton
Photo Credit: Pexels / Keira Burton

Inside jokes have a powerful way of bonding people because it’s like you share something unique from everyone else.

Focus on something they say or a strange topic you stumble upon and then bring it up a little later as a joke.

Break The Ice A$AP Rocky Quick

glass full of ice cubes
Photo Credit: Pexels / cottonbro
Photo Credit: Pexels / cottonbro

Slow and steady doesn’t always win the race.

If you’re interested in someone, break the ice earlier rather than later. We’re all busy adults and we don’t have time to waste trying to guess how you’re feeling.

If They Seem Receptive, Light Touches Are Good

woman leaning on man's shoulder while looking at laptop together
Photo Credit: Pexels / Andrea Piacquadio
Photo Credit: Pexels / Andrea Piacquadio

Of course, you have to pay attention to how they’re reacting to you.

However, a light touch on the arm or something similar is a great way to convey interest.

Be Bold And Take Charge

woman with hand on man's chest
Photo Credit: Pexels / Andrea Piacquadio
Photo Credit: Pexels / Andrea Piacquadio

Do you want to get to know someone? Rather than trying to fire off signals so that they’ll want to approach you, take the initiative to walk up and introduce yourself.

That kind of confidence is hot.

Like Their Social Media Posts

phone with paper cutouts shaped like instagram notifications around it
Photo Credit: Pexels / Cristian Dina
Photo Credit: Pexels / Cristian Dina

It might sound silly, but liking posts and responding to stories or other things puts you on their radar.

Also, psychologically, the more we see someone, the higher chance we like them. Get your name popping up in their notifications.

Pay Attention To Their Social Cues

man and woman leaning into each other at table
Photo Credit: Pexels / cottonbro
Photo Credit: Pexels / cottonbro

Flirting is a lot like fencing.

It’s all about seeing how your opponent (the person you’re flirting with) reacts to things and then finding a way to counter them. Pay attention to if they’re facing you (good sign!) or if they seem distracted (bad sign!).

Just Be Yourself

woman looking confident
Photo Credit: Pexels / Christina Morillo
Photo Credit: Pexels / Christina Morillo

Honestly, the best way to attract someone you want to be around is to be yourself around them in the first place.

Your natural personality will shine through and someone will latch onto it. There’s nothing more attractive than being unapologetically and authentically yourself.

Treat Yourself As If You’re A Prize

beads spell out
Photo Credit: Pexels / Nataliya Vaitkevich
Photo Credit: Pexels / Nataliya Vaitkevich

You have to walk into flirting with the mindset that someone would be lucky to have your attention.

You’re cool, smart, interesting, and beautiful, so compose yourself in a way that shows off that you believe you’re someone worth getting to know too.