Have you ever stopped to think that maybe we're asking for too much out of men without giving them credit for what they already do well? Our standards and perceptions have been ruined by toxic exes.
In the process, we may have forgotten what characteristics are even actually considered "normal" or "healthy," but don't worry, we're here to remind you.
A Man Who'll Listen To You Rant About Karen All Day
Even if he doesn't always know how to weigh in on your gossip, to compliment your new hairdo, or to just listen instead of trying to fix things, he is always patient. A patient man will wait out your stressed phases, mood swings, and rambling stories and still never think of you as crazy or too much.
A Man Who Avoids Having Temper Tantrums Like A Toddler
We've come to get too used to men who can flip the switch. We've normalized men who will get overly jealous and aggressive because we took too long to text back on a night out. We've gotten conditioned to apologize just to calm down a confrontation.
This isn't the way it's supposed to be. It should be up to them to control their own temper.
A Man Who Doesn't Need To Check In When You're With Your Girls
Being in a relationship shouldn't take away your ability to be independent and maintain a life outside of your partner. If he trusts you, he should be able to let you do your thing without needing to check in.
Too often, "checking in" is just a masked way to be possessive and controlling.
A Man Who Leaves His Baggage At The Door
It's not too much to ask for a man who's mentally sound. Surely, we've all been through our fair share of hardships and bad experiences, but that is no excuse to act like a jerk and get away with it. It's up to them how they deal with their baggage.
There is a difference between being vulnerable and making excuses. Keep the baggage for traveling.
A Man Who Laughs With You, Not At You
You don't want someone whose idea of a joke is who can fart the longest, but you'll want one you can laugh yourself silly with until your abs hurt. Someone who doesn't dwell or take life too seriously.
Sitting Through Your Idea Of A Good Movie
The fact that he's sitting through The Bachelor with you isn't really about the show, but the fact that he's open and willing to share experiences with you that expand beyond his own interests.
It shows that he'll be there to support your interests and your growth just as much as his own.
A Man Who Calls When He Says He Will
No more waiting by the phone and bringing it into the shower in case he finally texts you back, or sending screenshots to the group chat just to make sure you didn't say anything to put him off.
The idea here is that a man should follow through on his word, no matter the word, and prove to be dependable.
A Man Who's Not Just Waiting His Turn To Talk About Himself
The least that a man can do is listen. But it's important to actually listen enough to retain what you're saying, so that next time you ask him why he didn't put a plate in the dishwasher, he doesn't act like it's groundbreaking news.
Listening is a basic sign of respect. It's the only way communication can actually get anywhere.
Not Acting Like Your Time Of Month Is The Grossest Event
A grown and mature man doesn't look at your womanly functions, happenings, and needs as "gross." Cooties are for toddlers. He should be able to praise you for the ability to bring his children into the world, the way his mother did. At the very least, he shouldn't act like buying you tampons is like getting being in the Trojan War.
A Man Who Will Actually Admit He's A Human With Feelings
Being strong shouldn't mean that he has to hold back and pretend his heart is made out of ice. It should mean admitting when he's feeling sad and defeated and knowing when to step back and actually let you support him.
The more he tries to deny how he feels, the more he'll hurt himself and his relationship with you.
A Man Who Asks How Your Family Is Doing
Although it's not an absolute requirement that he gets along with your whole family, you want to at least be assured that he cares about where you come from. It also gives your family some reassurance that you're in good hands.
Plus, the way he treats his family and yours will be very telling about how he will treat a family of his own making one day.
He's Working Towards A Goal In Life Beyond Beating The Next Level In Call Of Duty
It's important for him to have his own ambitions and goals. This will be the determinant of his drive in life. You don't want someone who is going to become reliant on you and lose their own motivation to think and dream bigger.
A Man Who Knows Himself
It's sad to think about, but the reality is that a lot of us don't take the time to actually understand ourselves and why we think and do the things we do. This lack of knowledge causes him to act out, justify his actions, and never actually do the work he needs to do to grow.
A man without character can actually even lead you astray and away from your own identity.
A Man Who Can Convince You To Try Skydiving
Okay, maybe that's an extreme example, but we insist that you need a man who is going to push you out of your comfort zone. It's easy to stay stagnant by getting comfortable. Change becomes too scary and you stop taking the risks necessary to level up in life.
If he's talking you into trying new restaurants and recipes, appreciate his intentions.
A Man Who Doesn't Compare You To An Instagram Influencer
You shouldn't feel like you're being compared to the women on Instagram whose filtered pictures are getting his likes.
You want a man who'll make you feel beautiful on the days you're too lazy to shower and walk around in nothing but an oversized shirt and messy bun.
A Man Who Respects Your Friends
Why don't some men understand that by insulting your best friends, he's actually insulting your judgment about who you're to choosing to surround yourself with? It's like he forgets it's that annoying friend who encouraged you to talk to him in the first place, and that person is going to outlast him and pick up the pieces when he breaks your heart.
A Man Who Asks You Instead Of Assuming
Your needs should matter just as much as his. Even if every time he asks you what you want for dinner you say you don't know, that's no excuse to stop asking for your opinion.
Soon, he'll be assuming bigger issues are okay because he never bothered to consult you and set that boundary with you.
A Man Who Initiates Friday Night Plans
Coming up with fun and exciting plans gets harder when you feel like you've done it all, but it is necessary to prevent a relationship from going stale. That means that effort is required from both parties.
Even just cooking a fancy meal every once in a while is something.
A Man Who Doesn't Think Therapy Is A Scam For Losers
Many relationships shift a balance where only one partner seems concerned about the relationship's development, so only one person puts in the effort necessary to grow it.
You need a man who is going to recognize any issues and do the work necessary to work through them, even if you suggest couples counseling.
A Man Who Makes You Feel Like You're Enough
At the end of the day, you just want a man who doesn't ask for you to change, or even spark the need to within you. You want someone who makes you feel like your simple companionship is what makes them happy. The rest is a bonus!