Guys Share Dumb Excuses They Use When They Don’t Actually Want To Be With You
Dating is hard because it's hard to know if you're on the same page as the person you're seeing, which is why communication is so important. Unfortunately, people don't always say what they mean, so it can be hard to know when a guy is giving you the slip.
Guys said that these are some of the most common excuses men use to blow you off.
"I'm Just Busy With Work Right Now"
The truth is that work is always some level of busy, and if it is a difficult time at work and they still wanted to see you, they would offer a solution to make things work.
"I Don't Know If I Believe In Commitment"
The underlying subtext is that he doesn't believe in commitment with you. He frames it as a problem he has with the idea of commitment, but in reality, he just doesn't want to be with you.
"I'm Afraid We're Almost Too Perfect For Each Other"
If a guy was actually into you, he would be overjoyed by the idea that you two were perfect for each other and would want nothing more than to move forward with this.
"I'm Just Going Through A Stressful Time Right Now"
Like with the work excuse, someone who was genuinely interested in you would be open about things being stressful, but would still find a way to make things work. If he says this is why you can't be together, he's just not that interested.
"I Think You Deserve Better Than Me"
The reality is that if a guy really liked you and believed you deserved better than him, he would do everything he could to become a better version of himself for you.
"I Think We Have A Very Special Friendship That I Just Don't Want To Ruin"
While this one isn't totally off-base, they aren't worried about ruining the friendship you share by dating so much as they just don't like you as more than a friend.
"I Don't Want To Jump Back Into A Relationship After My Last Breakup"
While some people aren't ready to date again following a breakup, if a guy has started seeing you—as in actively started to date—and says this, it's just a way for them to blow you off.
"I'm About To Go Out Of Town/On Vacation"
Apart from actually moving out of the city, if a guy says this without giving a clear way for you to communicate or implying they'll see you after they return, they're not interested in seeing you.
"I'm Scared That If We Stay Together, I'll Just Cheat On You"
This is the biggest cop-out of all time: any guy who actually likes you would actively avoid cheating on you—period. If he says he's scared he'll cheat in the future, he's trying to scare you off without seeming like the bad guy.
"My Parents/Friends Think It's A Bad Time For Me To Get Serious With Someone"
As much as he might value the opinion of his loved ones, a man who really likes you will put those aside and follow his heart. If he says this, he's looking for an excuse to stop seeing you.
"I Only Want Something Casual And I Could Never Just Be Casual With You"
This directly translates to "I still want to sleep with other people and I feel like you would try to move us toward dating when I really just want something physical."
"I Don't Think We Want The Same Things In Life"
This can be a very good reason to stop dating someone, but if a guy says this before you've really even gotten to know each other and talk about your future, he's blowing you off.
"I Just Need To Work On Myself Right Now"
I'm all for people taking time to work on themselves personally, but anytime a guy says this as a reason to stop seeing you without any clear future path for you being together, he just doesn't like you.
"You're A Great Girl And I Don't Want To Hold You Back"
If he really wanted to date you and make things work, he would find ways to support you if he thinks he might "hold you back." This is a cop-out that allows him to frame himself as a "good guy."
While Some Of These Reasons Can Be Real, Most Of The Time They're Not
Guys pick these excuses because they've heard men in movies or their friends have used them before. However, they use these phrases because they think they work even if they don't really mean them.
They Use These Excuses Because They Don't Want To Hurt Your Feelings
No one likes to hurt someone else's feelings, so it can feel easier to use an excuse that puts the blame on himself rather than just admitting that he doesn't really want to be with you.
The Problem Is That These Phrases Imply A Better Set Of Future Circumstances
Most of these phrases imply that the problem is with the circumstances rather than his own feelings, making it seem like there is a future where things could work out. This can leave you hanging on the hook.
In Summary, These Excuses Mean "I Don't Like You Enough To Date You"
It's something that's hard to say and often even harder to hear, but in reality, the reason dating doesn't work is that you or the guy just don't like each other enough to pursue things further, and that's okay.
Don't Internalize It
While it can often feel very personal when a guy doesn't want to take things further with you, it often just means that you weren't a good match for each other. It doesn't inherently mean that there's something wrong with you personally.
Move On Rather Than Waiting For The "Perfect Time"
If a guy drops one of these superficial excuses, take it as a sign to move on and start focusing your energy elsewhere. Your time is too valuable to waste on someone who isn't willing to put the effort in for you.
