Why You’re A Better Person If You’ve Had Your Heart Crushed

Heartbreak may feel like the most painful, saddening, weak moment you can endure. It can, however, also be the most rewarding, empowering, and elevating experience you can go through. Life changes after a heartbreak and you change with it, sometimes for the better.

It Hurts Because It Meant Something

man and woman passionately kiss
Photo Credit: Henri Meilhac / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Henri Meilhac / Unsplash

Although you wish you didn’t feel hurt, the pain is proof that what you had was something real. Rather than grieve it, you should be thankful that what you got to experience was real and not a waste of your time.

It gave you the tools to get closer to something that’s even better for you. If you thought that was good, imagine what a better relationship will feel like.

It Taught You A Lesson

woman thinking while staring into a pond
Photo Credit: Umit Bulut / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Umit Bulut / Unsplash

Often, a heartbreak will bring up feelings of confusion, regret, and blame. You think if you could change just the one thing, maybe the outcome would have been different.

Everything worked out exactly the way it was supposed to. It wasn’t a failure. It was an investment in yourself that taught you more about relationships, your needs, your desires, and what to look for in the future.

It’s Okay For The Heart To Not Listen To The Mind

two people pulling on black paper heart
Photo Credit: Kelly Sikkema / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Kelly Sikkema / Unsplash

How great would it be if you could force your heart to listen to the rationality of your mind? It can’t simply stop loving someone because your mind tells it to. Let it heal in its own way. Does your heart want another piece of cake even though your mind is telling it to wait till after dinner? Let it get away with it this time…

Forgiving Is Not The Same As Forgetting

woman thinking with illustrated hearts over her head
Photo Credit: Jonathan Andrew / Pexels
Photo Credit: Jonathan Andrew / Pexels

If someone broke your heart because they wronged you, forgive them. You’re not forgiving them for their sake, but so that you can free yourself of them. The more you hold onto the anger, the less likely you are to move on.

Once you forgive them, it doesn’t mean that you’re forgetting what they did to you, simply that it no longer holds you back.

Getting Closure Doesn’t Mean Erasing The Past

close-up of rubber eraser
Photo Credit: Pixabay / Pexels
Photo Credit: Pixabay / Pexels

You’re allowed to hold on to the memories—they shaped you, and the good ones will always bring some form of happiness to you. Take comfort in them. Keep the souvenirs.

You don’t have to pretend that someone who was such a big part of your life suddenly stopped existing. Be realistic with yourself and your boundaries.

Closing Yourself Off To Love Is Safe But Lifeless

girl behind rails
Photo Credit: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
Photo Credit: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels

Surely, all you can think is that you will never put yourself in this situation again. How unfair is that to you, though? What if there’s a chance for you to find greater happiness with someone else? One that doesn’t have to come to an end?

You owe it to yourself to at least keep trying. Playing it safe is boring.

Not Settling Is Brave, Not Sad

woman jumps over cliff
Photo Credit: Sammie Vasquez / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Sammie Vasquez / Unsplash

If you’re the one who left, congratulate yourself. In any case, some part of you knows this needed to happen. Maybe you could’ve stayed, things would’ve been okay, and you would’ve had some good times, but why limit yourself to “okay” when you can have “great”?

You deserve the very best, not just good enough.

Pain Is Not Permanent

hourglass propped up among pebbles
Photo Credit: Aron Visuals / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Aron Visuals / Unsplash

It’s your greatest teacher because it’s always only temporary. It only lasts long enough to mark you so that you’re more equipped to make better choices in the future.

The pain scares you just enough that you remember it and have better odds of avoiding making the same mistakes again. In that sense, painful events mark you and mold you into a better and stronger version of yourself.

Love And Pain Go Hand In Hand

couple holding hands
Photo Credit: Renate Vanage / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Renate Vanage / Unsplash

So do love and pain. It seems ironic because it sounds like they should be on opposite ends of the spectrum, but, in fact, they balance each other out. Love requires so much vulnerability, time, and effort that it’s natural for it to hurt sometimes. That’s why no part of you should be blaming yourself.

A Risk Is An Opportunity, Not A Limitation

no trespassing signs on railing
Photo Credit: Machel Dziedzic / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Machel Dziedzic / Unsplash

You took a risk dating someone, you took a risk ending it, and you’ll take a risk dating the next person. Nothing in life is guaranteed. Are you never going to say yes to a job? To moving to a new home? To going on a trip? It’s the risks that allow you to experience more of life.

You Come First. Always.

woman holding illuminated heart
Photo Credit: Bart Larue / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Bart Larue / Unsplash

Do what’s best for you. Heal in the way that’s best for you. Be with who you want to be with. Leave when you feel like you need to. Take time for yourself or to be with your friends. Go for a run or cry in bed. There are no rules on how to navigate love except to always make sure you’re happy first. You can’t make someone else happy until you’re happy yourself.

Love Isn’t Always Love

woman and man in water
Photo Credit: Alex Iby / Unplash
Photo Credit: Alex Iby / Unplash

You often don’t realize this until you’re out of the relationship, but just because they said it was love doesn’t mean that’s what love is. Love is so complicated, and yes, it’s supposed to hurt, but only to a certain extent.

One day, when you have the right kind of love, you’ll look back and maybe wonder if you truly were in love with them in the first place.

Your Heartbreak Is Proof You’re Not Just Alive, But Living

broken heart-shaped cookie
Photo Credit:Freestocksorg / Pexels
Photo Credit:Freestocksorg / Pexels

What is the point of being alive if we’re not truly living? Our emotions are reminders of that. They’re like natural drugs, and love is the most powerful drug of all. It makes you feel something.

You get lost in your emotions and even hold on to them for as long as possible just to feel more alive. Just keep in mind that emotions can be unreliable, and there’s always something beyond them.

The Deeper The love, The Deeper The Pain

woman in bed sad, covering her face with her hands
Photo Credit: Anthony Tran / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Anthony Tran / Unsplash

How great is it that you’ve had something that makes saying goodbye so hard? They say that to have loved and lost is better than to never have loved at all. The more intense and the deeper that love was, the more it hurts when it’s gone.

Some people go a whole lifetime never able to experience that and wishing for even just a taste.

Numbness Only Protects You If It Doesn’t Overtake You

woman sits with hand on forehead, sad
Photo Credit:Anh Nguyen / Unsplash
Photo Credit:Anh Nguyen / Unsplash

Heartbreak often turns into numbness. That numbness is only your body’s way of trying to protect you from the pain, but if you completely succumb to it, it will overtake you. You will stop feeling everything, not just pain. You will take even happiness away from yourself, as well as hope.

To Know Loss Is To Know Happiness

man looks into the distance with thumbs up
Photo Credit: Nghia Le / Unspalsh
Photo Credit: Nghia Le / Unspalsh

How can you appreciate what’s good if you don’t understand what’s bad? That’s how loss works too. It shows you the power of happiness.

Instead of letting it taint your perspective, heartache could be the reason in the future that you love a little harder and give more of yourself—because you understand the pain of its absence.

The Only Thing Scarier Than Getting Heartbroken Is….

sad person against the wall
Photo Credit: Nijwam
Photo Credit: Nijwam

It’s the absence of love completely that’s scarier than being heartbroken. Yes, rejection is scary, and so is a loss, but what is even scarier is knowing that you could have great love again, and choosing its absence because you hope it will mean the absence of pain as well.

Even Love Can Bring Out The Worst In People

man is angry
Photo Credit: Icons 8 team / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Icons 8 team / Unsplash

Love doesn’t always bring out the best in people—sometimes it brings out the worst. The intimacy of it can bring out their deepest fears, their baggage, and traumas.

That doesn’t mean they’re incapable of love, it simply means they need more time first, and it’s not your job to get them there.

You’re Not Broken, You’re Healing

holding a lit heart
Photo Credit: designecologist / Unsplash
Photo Credit: designecologist / Unsplash

Your heart might feel like it’s breaking, but it’s actually healing with every passing moment. Each day will hurt a little less until the pain feels like a distant memory.

The way you feel is not who you are or who you will be, it’s a transition period that you will be thankful for one day.

A Loss Is A Fresh Start

woman wakes up in bed
Photo Credit: Damur Spanic / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Damur Spanic / Unsplash

Every ending is a new beginning. This should not only bring you comfort, but also excitement. You get to go wherever, meet whomever, do whatever. You have no one to be held accountable to, to hold you back, or to listen to. So, how far can you really go?