Even If They Left You, Here’s How You Won
There’s no denying that breakups feel like a dagger to the heart no matter who initiated them. You may think that your ex has all the power and is well on their way to moving on because they’re the one who left you, but we’re here to tell you, who cares about they feel now?
This time is about you, and even though you may not see it, you’re the one winning.
The Sweet Taste Of Freedom
If you want to go on a crazy night out and stumble home at 3 a.m., or not come home at all, you can. You no longer have anyone to report to or whose feelings and needs you have to consider.
In the bigger picture, this means you can pursue whatever lifestyle or goals you had to compromise on for them.
You Now See Your Ex For Who They Really Are
They say a breakup brings out people’s true colors. You finally take off the rose-colored glasses and stop ignoring the red flags. You know you deserve better, even if you loved them.
Your Money Is All Yours
While it’s true that money doesn’t buy happiness, it certainly doesn’t hurt to accumulate more of it. You no longer have to spend extra at the grocery store to feed two people, or cover them when they’re short.
You can start saving up for the trips and things that you’ve wanted, and you can enjoy them when you want to.
You’re About To Get Showered With Affection From Everyone Else
Your friends and family will naturally start to remind you of how beautiful, smart, funny, and successful you are. They’re not just saying that, they’re simply reminding you.
Your ex is not the determinant of your worth. This is the best time to reconnect with all the other people who you may have put a little on the back burner during your relationship.
You’re Entitled To A Guilt-Free “Treat Yourself” Period
Since losing someone to a breakup feels basically the same as mourning, you finally get to take a little break from life to focus and take care of yourself.
During this time, it’s okay to take some time off work, order in twice in one day, have a glass of wine at noon, and stay under the blankets all day. This an opportunity to reset and start fresh.
You Add More Knowledge To Your Toolbox
“You get better at seeing through people and their intentions.” —Nishtha Sethi / Quora
Maybe you were naive this time, or you just missed the signs, but if you hadn’t gone through it, you still wouldn’t know any better. We learn by experience. This breakup will teach you your standards, needs, wants, and expectations for the next time.
You Have Full Control Of Your Netflix Selection
It’s important to find joy in the little things. Rather than missing your ex because you wish you could be cuddling up to them watching movies, you get to binge-watch Real Housewives as loud as you want for as long as you want without anyone waiting for their turn to use the TV.
It’s small things like this that will allow you to rebuild your routine.
When You’re Done Crying, You’ll Feel Rejuvenated
A 2003 study focused on students who had recently gone through a breakup found patterns of personal growth following the end of a relationship. Participants reported improved calmness, closer friendships, healthier eating habits, enhanced physical fitness, and, overall, a more fulfilling life.
This is because you literally broke free of the monotony of a stale relationship and now feel inspired to remake yourself.
No More Ultimatums
A lot of the time in a relationship, decisions feel like absolutes. Either you have to live your life a certain way and give up some things, or it won’t work out. Now that the worst has happened anyway, you can take those risks.
Breakups are a great reminder that life comes with no absolutes, so when you’ve already lost what you feared, what’s left to stop you?
You’re Forced To Seek Your Own Validation
When you’re with someone long enough, their approval starts to feel just as important as your own. You might have gone as far as denying yourself opportunities because they advised you against them.
This is your chance to check in with yourself to only need your own validation. Your confidence and self-worth will skyrocket.
The Grass Really Is Greener On The Other Side
Even if you didn’t act on it, you likely sometimes wondered if that relationship was it or if you were settling and preventing yourself from finding out if there’s more out there. Now you get to find out.
This way, even if you one day get back with your ex like you’re currently hoping, you’re sure of what you want because you experienced the alternative.
You Can Finally Face All The Baggage You’ve Been Shoving Down
Because breakups bring you to such a raw and vulnerable place, they become a time when all your cards are laid out on the table. All your insecurities, frustrations, and traumas rise to the surface and force you to face them.
This will allow you to finally work through it and become more insightful. By the end, you’ll feel more like yourself than you ever have.
You Get More Hours, Or Rather All Hours, In The Day
The days don’t feel long enough as it is. When you have to factor in another person’s schedule too, it becomes so hard to find some time for yourself to just relax. Between working, cooking for two, listening to another person talk, and whatever else arises, you feel too drained to drag yourself to a yoga class too.
With all those hours handed right back to you, how do you want to spend them?
Your Future Has Been Salvaged
Imagine if you had committed 10 more years to this person only for it to end then? You’re not getting any younger. It’s better that it happened sooner rather than later.
Ten years from now, their name won’t even faze you anymore. The future is back in your control and there’s hope in that.
Your Space Is YOUR Space
It’s actually crazy how much the space you’re physically in affects the way you feel internally. You might have not noticed that their messy habits and the constant dirty kitchen were actually a source of your anxiety.
Now with all your new space, you get to decorate it and make it as zen as you want. Your space can be your sanctuary and a place in which you find healing.
You Have To Less To Worry About
Think of how much more sleep you’ll start to get at night when you’re brain isn’t racing worrying about how another person’s actions might affect you. No more worries about them cheating or why they haven’t texted you back!
You Can Reshift Your Focus
Relationships usually end up taking priority over your life and become your main focus. Ask yourself what other areas have gotten neglected in the process. Maybe it’s your career, your health, or your relationships with other people or even yourself.
Reshifting your focus will not only give you a distraction, but also motivation to have something to work towards.
You Have The Chance To Find Someone Would Never Leave You
Now that you got rid of someone who clearly wasn’t right for you, even if they did the honors on your behalf, you have the space to meet someone who could never fathom the thought of leaving you.
You now know what to look for and what to avoid, and you have a better chance of knowing what kind of person to let your guard down for.
And If You Do Get Back Together….
Yes, there is a chance, although, this shouldn’t be something you rely on to get through the pain. Some studies suggest that as many as 75% of people reunite with an ex at some point.
If it happens when the time is right, you’ll be able to appreciate them a lot more and you’ll have had the time to grow and learn how to navigate the relationship better.
It’s All About Perspective
You have two choices. You can either use a breakup as your proof that love doesn’t truly exist and that you’ll never open yourself up to it again, or you can use the power of heartbreak as a chance to reinvent yourself and heal from so much more than just your relationship with that one person.
Which would you rather?