The False Assumptions Men Make About Women And Dating
Women are often given a bad rep when it comes to dating. They keep getting portrayed as these overly emotional, easily jealous, catty wrecks in modern memes and movies.
This has created a bunch of false assumptions that many men believe about women and dating that we're about to debunk.
"It's Because She's On Her Period"
The worst thing a man can do at the first sign of a woman showing emotion is to ask her if it's because she's on her period rather than acknowledge that once a month she still does all the same tasks as him and more while bleeding out.
Not to mention the fact that he wouldn't exist if it wasn't for her ability to have a period...
"She's Not Like Other Women"
If you have to compliment a woman by putting her whole gender down, then you're not getting it.
As much as a woman likes to be made to feel special, she wants to be acknowledged for her intelligence, unique quirks, or even style—she does not want to be compared to other women.
Assuming That Everything Is Done To Attract Them
"A guy once asked me if I was putting on chapstick because I wanted to kiss him. No...I just have chapped lips." —Equipoisonous / Reddit
Women don't live just to be eye candy and please men. They have worked hard enough to reach this point of freedom of independence, and often men aren't even on their mind.
That Women Are More Romantic Than Men
Let's blame romance novels and romantic comedies for this. Since they are usually geared towards a female audience, they tend to depict the woman as waiting to be swept off her feet by a man who isn't used to such behavior.
Ironically, psychological metrics such as the romantic beliefs scale have found that men actually have a more romantic outlook on love than women do and are even more likely than women to believe in the romantic notion of "love at first sight."
That Physical Attraction Is More Important To Men Than Women
Why would a woman want to be with a man that she's not physically attracted to? I believe they call those men their friends.
Some women might give more importance to personality on a first impression, but they give just as much value to whether this is someone whose clothes they want to rip off or not.
That Women Aren't Interested In Hooking Up
Have men never heard the song "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"? Just like some men want to engage in casual fun while others are looking to settle down, the same applies to women.
It depends on the woman and where she is in life. It's just a matter of being honest and on the same page.
That Women Are Just Out To Compete And Get Each Other
"Please explain how women have such a stronger support network—made up of primarily female friends—which allows us to be more emotionally open...if we can't have real friendships with other women." —zugzwang_03 / Reddit
Women even share quasi-universal "girl codes." Just take the way women will make friends in the bathroom of a bar. Surely, sometimes some of them won't get along, but this doesn't merit giving the whole gender a "catty" rep.
"Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
There is this belief that men and women are SO fundamentally different in their personalities and orientations toward relationships that they might as well be from different planets.
This is such a huge generalization. There is much more variation between individual people of the same gender than there is between genders. At the end of the day, both just long to be loved and accepted.
That Men And Women Don't Handle Conflicts The Same Way
Most conflicts tend to have a "demand and withdraw" pattern. The demander (assumed to be the woman) is usually the one insisting on discussing issues and the man is the one "withdrawing."
However, studies have found that there's no determinant of which gender assumes which role. It's more of a question of who wants the change. If it's a change the man wants, he'll be the one to bring it up.
That Women Cry To Get Their Way
"No, I cry because I'm sad or otherwise overwhelmed with emotion." —tercerero / Reddit
We all have our own coping mechanisms—emotions get the best of us, and when we feel helpless or overwhelmed in a situation, our emotions will take over. Some people yell, some people cry, and some people go into their shell and freeze. It's not a woman-specific reaction.
Women Are Expecting The Man To Make The First Move
It's true that some women do enjoy being courted and romanced in some way, but we also no longer live in the 1950s. Modern women tend to take risks and go after what they want.
More and more women are the ones to ask out their crush or initiate flirting, but just like men, some women are more shy or aggressive than others
That Women Want Expensive Gifts
Or "that we expect them to buy us things. I know that the whole 'guy pays for dinner' thing is still true for some, but no one I personally know adheres to that rule." —kalichibunny / Reddit
This used to be true when women couldn't get their own jobs and buy things for themselves, but as much as women wouldn't mind being spoiled sometimes, the expectation is no longer true for most.
Women Just Want Men To Agree With Them All The Time
No woman wants to feel like she's dating a doormat. It would be nice if you acknowledged when she is right (which is a lot of the time), but they don't want men just telling them what they want to hear.
Plus, it's attractive for women to see men who are confident in their own beliefs and opinions, and who embrace their unique personality.
That Dating Is Easier For Women Than Men
Men tend to believe that women have their pick of partners. If only if that were easy. They deal with just as much heartbreak and rejection, with men not meeting their needs, and with having to be the ones to make the first move.
Dating is just hard all around for everyone.
That Women Wear Makeup To Hide What They Really Look Like
There is an assumption that "we wear makeup for them and that makeup is false advertising. It's my face, I'll do whatever I please." —MadameMeeseeks / Reddit
Applying makeup is basically an art. It makes women feel beautiful and confident, and often she'll put it on even if she's only just seeing the girls. Other women don't feel comfortable using it. Either way, the goal isn't to hide their true identity but to emphasize it.
That Feminists Hate Men
Obviously, there are different sectors of feminists, but their main goal is simply equality for everybody. Feminists just want everyone to be better off and aren't these man-hating angry women that they are often portrayed to be.
Men can be feminists too!
That Women Can't Tell Or Take A Joke
"Women are funny, guys. Get over it." —jsbuechler / Reddit
Women are even making more and more of an appearance in the stand-up comedy scene. Just like men, some women have a more witty sense of humor and some are more sarcastic, but one thing they all have in common is that they all like to laugh.
That Women All Think The Same Way
"Women, much like regular people, are not bound by one defining factor.
"It's annoying in small ways, such as 'go talk to so-and-so's wife!' at the company holiday party (Uh... she and I have 0 in common, we can't just strike up a friendship because we're both ladies that are married to people that work here...)." —abqkat / Reddit
That Women "Forget" Things on Purpose
"That women will intentionally leave something (like earrings) at a guy's house after hooking up so that he has to see her again to return the stuff." —bluemostboth / Reddit
Life is so busy and overwhelming, it's completely normal to be forgetful sometimes, and people should not be accused of having ulterior motives.
That Women Are Always Jealous
"That we get jealous over any female friend. Um no, she's not treating you like a friend..." —brunetteinvader / Reddit
Women are actually blessed with great intuition and can read other women quite well. More often than not, they are right.
Plus, if they get jealous, it's usually from trust issues that were caused by betrayal, and they just need a little extra validation until they can rebuild that trust.
Now, Let's Talk About Some Dating Misconceptions That Are Out There
There are some dating misconceptions out there that we all have.
We can all work on understanding these things that will make dating easier for everyone. Who doesn't need that, right?
There Has To Be That First Date Spark
There is this idea that you have to be an intense spark on the first date for the relationship to be worth pursuing.
This is not the case at all. In fact, the absence of those butterflies can be a good sign.
Lust, At First Sight, Does Not Equal Love
Being attracted to someone is not the most important thing when it comes to relationships.
Yes, you want to think that the person you're with is attractive, but you have to have more than that, or the relationship will fizzle out.
Women Fall In Love Faster Than Men
We like to think that women are more emotional and therefore fall in love more quickly than women.
This is not true. Men are just as likely as women to fall for someone quickly or have a hard time getting over a breakup, too.
Online Dating Is Only For Desperate People
Even though many of us have met people we've matched with on Tinder or Bumble, there seems to be this stigma about meeting a long-term partner on online sites.
This isn't fair because meeting people online is one of the most common people to meet their partners, especially in the last ten years.
Men Don't Want To Date Succesful Women
Why is it that we think men are intimidated and turned off by successful and confident women?
Real men who would make good partners aren't going to be worried about a woman being successful or confident. They're going to like those qualities.
The Idea That Soul Mates Are Real
We have to let go of the idea that soul mates are a real thing. It's so dangerous to think that there is only one person out there for everyone.
Relationships take work, and they aren't magically destined to be.
Love Will Conquer All
It's nice to think that love will make everything work out just like a fairy tale, but that isn't realistic.
Love isn't going to be the thing that makes your relationship work. You are.
Friends With Benefits Relationships Can Lead To More
Friends with benefits are a tricky thing to navigate. Most of the time, a friends with benefits relationships is going to be that - friends.
It's dangerous to go into an FWB situation thinking that you can make that person want to be in a serious relationship.
You'll Never Fall In Love With Someone You Aren't Immediately Attracted To
If you're not entirely attracted to someone right away, don't write them off completely.
Many people in the world end up being in really fulfilling relationships with people who weren't their type.