Okay let’s be honest, “duty dating” sounds exhausting—but it doesn’t have to be.
We’re breaking down what exactly duty dating looks like, the pros and cons, and why you should definitely give it a try.
Say Yes To Anyone Who Asks
First things first, duty dating means saying yes to anyone who asks (within reason of course).
If a stranger stops you on the street and asks you out, say yes, even if it doesn’t seem like your usual style.
It’s Not Going To Be Perfect, That’s Part Of It
You’re definitely going to encounter a few frogs this way, that’s where the “duty” part comes in.
But the cool thing is you don’t have anything to lose so you can say “Thank U Next” until you land a meeting with your prince (or princess).
Scrap Your Usual Standards And Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
You have to commit to the word “yes.”
Even if you’re not super attracted to every person that asks you out. If height is something you usually look for, scrap that, give the shorter dudes a chance too.
Duty Dating Doesn’t Mean You Have To Settle
It doesn’t mean that you have to settle for someone or lower your personal standards, but it could help you boost your own confidence and weed out some of your favorite qualities in a partner.
Plus, you might be surprised how much you connect with someone who you wouldn’t usually take a chance on.
Fill Your Calendar With Dates
When you’ve got more than one date on the horizon, it’s a lot easier not to put too much pressure on a single one.
Dating can become a part of your social life in a way, and you can try out new places with new people.
Don’t Take It Too Seriously
Actually, it’s probably better if you don’t. The dates are not job interviews and they don’t need to be treated that way — have some fun and relax.
Duty dating can be intimidating if you’ve been single for a long time, but it gets way easier after the first few.
Every Date Does Not Have To End In Intimacy
All connections don’t have to end in intimacy, you could end up making a great connection with a friend if things don’t work out for you as a couple.
Some people just vibe better as buddies, and that’s okay too.
Take Advantage Of Dating Apps
Believe it or not, research suggests that people are finding lasting and meaningful connections on dating apps nowadays.
Use dating apps to your advantage to help fill your date calendar, plus you can pre-screen your matches to see if they’re even worth your time.
Try Dating Three People At A Time
Dating more than one person at a time can feel empowering, and it’s not as upsetting when one of them doesn’t work out.
Your dates may even pick up on the energy that you’re not their only option, and that is attractive for some reason.
Don’t Write Someone Off After The First Date
Unless your first date ends in horrible disaster, you should almost always at least give someone a second chance.
It’s possible that first date jitters and awkward nerves may have played a role in your first date, so if you didn’t click right away give it one more chance before deciding to write them off for good.
It’s A Numbers Game, Don’t Be Discouraged
When you’re duty dating it’s important to remember that you’re playing a numbers game.
The odds are that every connection isn’t going to be fireworks, but the few that are will be worth the time you put in getting to know yourself and the type of person you’re into.
Accept That It’s Gonna Be Lame Sometimes
You’re not always going to have things in common with every person that you meet.
As a result, some of the dates might feel boring or lame. It might even start to feel like the “duty” that it is. But just keep in mind that each date is making you a bit more of an expert.
It Will Have A Direct Impact On Your Future Love Life
Duty dating can help you feel an ultimate sense of fulfillment in your love life when you eventually find the person that makes it all worth it.
You’ve gone through the motions to make sure you know what you want, so when you find it you can recognize it.
It’s Good For People With Anxiety Or Avoidant Personalities
Forcing yourself to get out there and meet new people can be a good way to tackle an avoidant personality or anxiety around dates.
Duty dating forces you to confront your feelings of doubt and insecurity and it gets a little easier each time, especially if you’re doing fun activities together.
Duty Dating Is Not For Everyone
Dating is not a “one size fits all” type of shoe — instead, it works differently for different people.
There will be people who don’t understand why you would want to try duty dating, or “serial dating” as some might call it, but it’s your dating life, not theirs, so do what works best for you!
There Is No Significant Commitment, So It’s Easy To Stop
There is no right answer or correct formula for meeting someone.
If you give duty dating a try and find it doesn’t work well for you, it’s never too late or early to switch it up and go back to exclusively dating one or two people.