Getting mixed signals is never a fun thing to have to deal with, and yet it is all too common. Is it because dating has become so fickle with all the online apps, or is it because that’s just what dating is like until you find the right person? Well, mixed signals can be confusing, so you’re right to be confused, but we’re here to help sort it all out.
Are Mixed Signals A Normal Guy Thing?
Is it possible that getting mixed signals from a guy is just a guy thing? To a certain point, maybe. Men and women often don’t communicate the same way, and when it comes to trying to convey how we feel, those waters get even more muddied.
But there is a difference between learning how they communicate and someone being really confusing.
What Are Some Examples Of Mixed Signals?
So what are we talking about when we say “mixed signals”? Basically, it’s that hot and cold that makes you wonder if they’re actually into you or not. The inconsistent texting, only hanging out once in a blue moon (usually at night), the flirting with no follow-through… It’s a lot to try and work through.
Not All Mixed Signals Mean He’s A Bad Guy
There are a few reasons why you could be getting mixed signals from someone that don’t mean the relationship is doomed, but it’s important to note that these mixed signals are different in that you never feel like you’re not sure where you stand. You might know how they feel, you just don’t see any kind of forward movement.
Maybe He Wants To Take Things Slow
It’s possible that this guy you’ve been seeing, who you like and who likes you, might just want to take things a little bit slower than you’re used to, and that’s why he’s not making any serious moves.
He Wants You To Make The First Move
It’s possible that he wants you to make the first move because he wants to be sure that you’re thinking what he’s thinking. Sometimes guys are just shy, and that makes it hard to know what they are thinking.
He Could Literally Be Missing What’s In Front Of Him
It’s also possible that he just hasn’t clued in yet to the amazing chemistry there is going on between the two of you, but you kind of both know that it’s there. It isn’t so much that they are in denial, they just are too dumb to see it.
Mostly, Though, Mixed Signals Are A Bad Sign
While those three reasons are the exception to the rule, usually, mixed signs aren’t a good sign about the future of your relationship with this person. It usually means that you’re not on the same page in one way or another.
Here are some reasons for those bad mixed signals.
He Doesn’t Really Like You That Way
He probably likes you well enough to hang out with you and talk to you, but he might not like you in that special way that gives him butterflies. He’s just not feeling it romantically.
He Doesn’t Want Anything Serious, And He Senses You Do
It could also be that he can see that you want to be in a serious relationship and he doesn’t want things to change, so playing this hot and cold game stops any kind of real commitment from forming.
He’s Only Looking For One Thing…
This one is a big one. Sometimes guys are just pigs, and they’re only looking to hook up and have something really casual, and they don’t want to really communicate or know you outside of that context.
He Might Be Cheating
If you’ve been together for a while and you’re starting to get mixed signals from your partner, it’s probably because they are hiding something. The most common of these things is that they are cheating and struggling with their own guilt and what the right course of action is.
He Could Be Confused
It seems so simple to say, but it’s possible that they’re just confused about the whole situation. There are feelings there, but are there enough? Do they want to be with you seriously? Do they want any of that at all?
They’re Not Over Their Ex
Another common reason for mixed signals from a new person you’re dating is that you’re sadly being used as a rebound, whether they even know that or not. Sometimes we look for a kind of distraction to get over our ex or to buy us time until they might want to get back together.
It’s A Passive Reciprocation Situation
This is just a fancy way to say that you’re giving him attention and he’s taking it, and that’s the extent of it. Some people just like it when anyone is paying attention to them, it doesn’t matter who. So if it seems like you’re always making the first move or initiating plans, this is probably why.
He’s One Of Those People Who Love To Flirt
Just like there are people who will take any attention they can get, there are also guys who just love to flirt and love being a ladies’ man. You could be caught up with someone who just likes that back and forth.
He’s Just Looking For Attention
When we are feeling lonely or stung after a bad breakup, we just want attention—from anyone. If you’re getting mixed signals from a guy, it could be because they are using you as a kind of Band-Aid to give themselves that ego boost.
He Likes The Thrill Of The Chase
There are some people in the world who like the thrill of the chase and that first beginning phase of a relationship, but once things get a little more serious, they loose all interest.
What Can We Do About Mixed Signals?
So, if any of these sound like the issue with your relationship that comes to mind when you read any of this, is there anything you can do to try and remedy the situation?
Confront Them About It
The best thing you can do is confront them about it. Stop waiting for them to make the grand gesture or whatever you’re waiting for. These are your feelings at stake.
And Remember The Golden Rule
Above all else, remember the golden rule: if someone really cares about you, if a guy really likes you, you’re going to know it. People put themselves out there for people they see a real relationship with. So if you’re not getting that, ask yourself: is this the right relationship for you?