Can Men And Women Truly Be ‘Just Friends’?
While friendships between men and women do exist, and many survive a lifetime, they require a lot of respect, understanding, and boundaries. Your intentions need to be clear from the beginning. Some men and women can't be friends because their motivations differ.
Based on the following benefits and risks, you can decide for yourself.
Start By Establishing The Goals Of The Relationship
You can't just assume you know what the other person is thinking or what they want. You may assume their intentions are noble, but their desire is different.
When entering a friendship with the opposite sex, make sure you establish the boundaries and goals. Are you friends with benefits, or are you purely platonic? This will save awkward tension down the line.
It's Very Possible For One To Become Sexually Drawn To The Other
Some argue that genetics drives us to be naturally attracted to the opposite sex. Whether you agree or not, it means that there is a higher risk that one party will be sexually attracted to the other.
However, even if an attraction exists, it's all about what you do about it. You can be attracted to someone and not take it any further.
Make Sure Not To Encourage Flirtatious Behavior
A lot of these kinds of friendships fail because one person feels led on by the other. Maybe you both established that you would just be friends in the beginning, but they assumed that the dynamic had changed because you flirt a lot.
Friendly banter is okay, but make sure that flirting stays contained so as to not confuse anyone.
It Gives You "The Inside Scoop" On The Way The Other Gender Thinks
Having a friend of the opposite sex is like having a double-agent. If a woman is having boy troubles, their male friend doesn't have to guess what that boy is thinking—they know because they've probably been there.
This insider view provides wisdom that you wouldn't otherwise be able to get.
It Expands Your Social Circle Away From Your Partner
It's great to have your partner be your best friend, but it's a lot of pressure if they're your only go-to.
Having a wider social circle that includes both males and females allows you to be able to rely on more people as well as diversify your activities and time spent.
There Are Some Topics Only The Same Gender Can Understand
There certain topics that you can spend all day trying to explain, but if you've never had a similar experience, you might just truly never understand.
A man will never understand the fear a woman sometimes feels walking alone at night, for example.
One Of You Is Bound To Catch Feelings, Probably
A friendship can be purely platonic for a long time, then you get so comfortable with each other that BOOM, something flickers.
The closeness of the friendship might later get misconstrued. Make sure that no one gets mad, as having feelings isn't "wrong," and they can be moved on from.
Intoxication Can Sometimes Blur The Lines
Drunk words aren't always sober thoughts. Sometimes simply out of convenience and comfort, two people can get carried away when alcohol is involved.
This is not always the case, and it doesn't mean there's no coming back from it. It can just be very awkward.
If Feelings Do Change At Any Point, They Tend To Be Hidden
You've surely heard of the "friendzone" by now, right? It's when someone gets stuck only being looked at as a friend when they wish for more.
Often times, the one who is "friendzoned" might feel hurt, inadequate, or even jealous but too afraid to lose the person completely by admitting their feelings...until they blow up one day.
Jealousy Can Arise
This can happen either between two friends, or if one of them has a partner, that partner may get jealous of the bond they share.
Jealousy occurs naturally and can't always be avoided. What matters is how it's handled and resolved.
There Should Be No Room For Secrets
The same way that some people qualify "emotional intimacy" as still cheating, keeping secrets can count as a betrayal. This happens on different levels.
If one friend is hiding their true intentions, or if they're downplaying the friendship when their partner is around. These barriers will affect the friendship at some point.
A Friend Is A Friend Despite Their Gender
A friendship with someone of the opposite gender can teach you to appreciate how good a friend, of any kind, can be.
This means their age, religion, ethnicity, sex, and gender don't matter. All that matters is the value they bring to your life and the kind of person they are on the inside.
You Get An Expanded Perspective
A friendship with someone who doesn't necessarily think the same way or live life through the same lens and experiences can bring that perspective into the friendship and share a new and diverse view that you can then adapt yourself. This makes you a better person along the way.
The Same Rules Don't Apply, Allowing You To Be More Open
Opposite-sex friendships offer different benefits than those of the same sex because the expectations are not the same, so you don't feel as judged if you're not dressed a certain way or keep your emotions bottled up.
For example, some men find it easier to open up and be emotional around women while some women feel less of a need to act ladylike around their male friends.
They Inspire More Diverse Social Activities
An opposite-gender friendship can also make your social life more interesting, open, and inspiring.
A woman might not always want to go to a soccer game, and a man might not always agree to watch a rom-com, but together they can push each other to experience new activities they wouldn't normally gravitate towards.
Some People Work Better As Platonic Partners
Even if you wanted them to, some relationships are never meant to enter an intimate level, and they can even clash when attempted. If you're wondering if you should be more than friends, it doesn't hurt to try it to prove a point.
In fact, many exes end up being the best of friends in the long run because they realize that's how they most benefit each other without the complications and pressures of romance.
We Are Not Only Driven By Sex
The reason many people don't believe that men and women can be friends is that they believe that there are certain urges that drive these friendships apart.
However, as adults, we should fully be capable of controlling those urges. So even if an attraction is present, being in control would mean overlooking it and seeing past it.
Some Friendships Aren't Meant To Last Forever, Anyway
Some people are meant to come into and go out of our lives for a reason. That means not all friendships are meant to last, whether same-sex or not.
So the fall of the friendship shouldn't even depend on who is of what gender, but on why it's time to end it or what caused it not to work out.
Any Connection With Another Being Leaves A Mark
Any kind of human connection teaches us a lesson, makes a person better, gives perspective, and explores something the person hadn't known or seen before.
In that sense, it leaves some kind of mark. So any kind of healthy connection should be cherished for being enriching.
Some Friendships Lead Into The Best Romances
If, somehow, the friendship does turn out to be something more then that, it should be celebrated and not argued against!
Some of the best relationships start with friendships, because this gives the relationship a solid foundation of respect, comfort, and understanding before building on it on a deeper romantic level.
