We talk a lot about how to spot a toxic relationship or how to deal with moving on from one, but why not talk about the excitement that can come when you escape the wrong relationship?
These people on Reddit shared all the little things that they were able to appreciate once they ended their bad relationship or divorced their toxic partner.
Linger Wherever You Want
“Being able to linger is such a good feeling. Seven years later, I still love the freedom of wandering aimlessly.
“No one to answer to. No getting screamed at for taking too long. It’s bliss.” —Reddit / girlWhoWrites2
There’s Still Something To Be Learned
“The most underrated part of my divorce was all the relationship knowledge and experience I walked away with.
“I learned a lot about my own needs, what not to do’s and SO MANY new skills from the marriage counseling we attended that can be applied to future relationships.” —Reddit / DahliaSinger
Organize The Fridge However You Want
“The most underrated part was having the fridge organized exactly how I wanted it, so I could grab things without looking. I’m tall, and the fridge was a smaller one, so I had to get down on a knee to see everything.
“Having it laid out specifically helped me out, but my ex never even attempted to do the same. Having my stuff exactly where I need it to be is wonderful.” —Reddit / Judoka22
You Can Do A Complete Reset
“Reset. You get to reset and rebuild your life like you are 22 and just finished college. I quit my job and everything.
“While the heartache sucked, it was a very free time for me. I went on road trips with the dog and worked part-time for years. It was a great life.” —Reddit
Say Goodbye To Those In-Laws
“You get to divorce your mother-in-law, too!” —Reddit / Yeahbabs
Sometimes, you get to leave behind not just a toxic partner, but also the toxic family members they brought along with them.
Excitement For The Unknown
“The first little bit of time after it happens, right after you’ve officially moved out and gone your separate ways… even though things feel so heavy, there’s also this feeling of pure excitement at the unknown.
“Knowing it’s you and only you, no other person to rely on.” —Reddit / b***h-cassidy
The Sign You Made The Right Choice Is Clear
“The rebuilding of self. I really felt broken and terrified when I left my ex. Now, happily married with two kids, I am a completely different person in some aspects.
“There is a kind of validation that can’t be denied when you realize that you did the right thing.” —Reddit / shinyguns
You’re Free To Roam The City
“The very first morning I was finally alone and freed from an abusive relationship I was able to simply go to the store. That’s the first thing I did, was I went to the store. I didn’t have to ask for permission or have her force herself to come with me, I just walked out the door, got in the car, and went to the store.
“So I guess the most underrated part was being able to do the most mundane, ordinary thing.” —Reddit
Coming Home Is Relaxing Again
“For me? That first night you arrive home to your new place and realize you actually wanted to come home.
“No more staying at work late when you didn’t really need to or driving to the beach to avoid going home.” —Reddit / little_beanpole
Only You Are Spending Your Money
“I set a budget and don’t have to worry about money anymore. There’s no one who thinks it’s fine to empty our checking account without being interested in how the bills get paid.
“I ended up with a lot of debt in the divorce, but I still feel like I’m financially free!” —Reddit / anbenton94
Having A True Fresh Start
“I threw out almost everything in the house and started over. New couches, chairs, tables, and wall art. The clothes she left behind, her toiletries, her snacks, everything. Especially the master bedroom stuff.
“I didn’t sell any of it, I just donated what I could and started over.” —Reddit / secrethaver
No More Negative Nancy To Deal With
“For me, it was no longer having to deal with a person that believed that the world was evil and nothing was ever her fault, people were just out to get her. Society was apparently designed to conspire against her.
“It wasn’t something I really notice when we together, as her husband it was my role to support and comfort her. Afterward, it was a huge burden I didn’t have to deal with and my outlook on life improved massively.” —Reddit
Moving On From Someone Who Didn’t Love You Anymore
“No longer being with someone who doesn’t love you anymore.
“When it becomes obvious to you that they like you but don’t love you, that was the worst realization.” —Reddit / Sabertoothsnowhobbit
The Only Mess To Clean Up Is Yours
“Not having his clutter everywhere, and his passive-aggressive demands that constantly I tidy up after him even though we both worked full-time.
“Now any messes are my messes, and cleaning the house is WAY easier.” —Reddit / scott_doesntknow
Everyone Shares Their True Feelings
“Literally everyone else in your life going ‘finally dude’ has really helped validate the situation.
“Even if it makes the choice to remain friends with her a little awkward.” —Reddit / heebarino
Being SIngle In General Can Feel Freeing
“Being single in general is total freedom. You don’t have to worry about another person’s feelings. You go where you want, eat where you want, play the same song on repeat.
“I’ve been single for 7 years. The thought of going back doesn’t sound like fun at all.” —Reddit / thebarwench
You Can Create The Home You’ve Always Wanted
“I get to create the home I want. My ex never cared about anything I wanted to do in the home, he had no opinion. He just didn’t want to create ‘our’ home.
“Now that he is gone, I get to create a cozy, wonderful, and wacky home. It feels wonderful!” —Reddit / Sassenachlass
Getting To Find The Person That Treats You Well
“A chance to start over. My ex was emotionally abusive, cheated on me constantly, and had a narcissistic personality.
“Finding someone that treats me like a human being, and actually cares about me and makes sure that I know it… 100% worth all I put up with in my previous marriage.” —Reddit / DisfiguredUnicorn
Say Goodbye To Issues You Thought Were Permanent
“For me, it was dropping my control issues. They vanished when I got divorced and don’t exist in my current relationship.
“When someone consistently can’t get their s**t together or be relied on for the basics…leave them.” —Reddit / sasroxxy
Take Your Shot At Real Love
“A chance at real love. Someone who actually values you.
“No, it’s not the easy way out. It was by far one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make. It’s easier to keep doing the same thing over and over. To just push through the misery.” —Reddit / Cherryapplefox