Arguments Happen, But Never Say These Things To Your Partner
Arguments happen whether you want them to or not. That's how it goes in a relationship, and you have to work at it to get to a point where they virtually don't happen anymore.
Until then, there are phrases and things you absolutely shouldn't say to your significant unless you want major turmoil.
"I Don't Need You"
If you say the phrase "I don't need you" during an argument, then you have to at least follow up with, "but I want you." Your partner doesn't want to hear you don't need them, because it adds on insecurity.
"You're Just Like Your Mother"
Not only is this an insult, but you also berate someone close to your partner. This is a sentence your girlfriend or boyfriend will keep on their mind and reference in the future.
"I Could Find Someone Better Than You In An Instant"
Can you really find someone better that fast? If so, this makes your partner more uncomfortable than you can imagine. Thoughts of getting replaced will come across their mind more than they should.
"This Was Just Like The Last Time! How Come You Never Change?"
Getting with your ex isn't always the best move. You'll make it worse if you say something like this. You might as well move on if this is how you feel.
"I Shouldn't Have Listened To You…"
When you listen to your partner, it lets them know you respect their opinions and want to hear their advice, and it's empowering. You take back that feeling when you say this.
"This Is Your Fault"
Even if it is their fault, don't say it with hate or don't speak it all. This phrase hurts differently depending on your tone of voice because you can always say it jokingly. Fault in relationships usually belongs to both parties, though.
"I Hate You"
Do you hate this person? More than likely, no, so why would you say such an evil thing to your partner? In what world has this won the argument and helped?
"You're Always On My Back"
Saying the words "always" or "never" doesn't give your partner any credit for the stuff they do well in the relationship. This phrase is usually untrue and leaves a sour taste in your mouth.
"You Never Help Out Around The House"
Here we go again with the word never. You and your partner know that both of you clean up, so don't say this. Is your cleaning totally reciprocated? Probably not, so figure out a healthier way to suggest that.
"I Should Have Never Got With You"
If you feel so strongly that you have to say this, then you might be correct. "This scathing remark is incredibly toxic and hurtful," says Adina Mahalli, a relationship expert and mental health consultant. Toxic and hurtful are the last things you want to be with your partner.
"You're So Stupid"
"Never insult the other person's education level or intelligence," says Stacey Greene, a relationship coach. It shows that you don't respect their mind and that you have low or no character.
"You Don't Feel That Way"
Would you like your feelings dismissed? No, so why would you do it to your partner? Dismissing one's feelings doesn't show that you have their support, regardless of how small the concern is.
"This Conversation Is Over"
Saying this phrase sends the signal to your partner there is no way to access you. Even if there was a legitimate excuse, you've now closed off all remarks and weakened the bond.
"Forget It, You'll Never Understand"
How do you know your partner will never understand? This is an emotionally charged statement that isolates you. "The message you're really saying is 'I don't even want to talk to you, I feel that I'm a stranger to you,'" says April Kirkwood, a professional counselor.
"Sure. Good Luck With That"
While this might only be a sarcastic remark, it goes deeper than that. The underlying message is "'You can't do it,' 'What are you thinking?' 'Go ahead and try,'" explains Kirkwood.
"If I Knew Then What I Know Now…"
According to Kirkwood, this translates to, "I wish I never laid eyes on you." Even if that's not the initial feeling, it can run around in your partner's head and make them think unfortunate things.
"If You Don't Do This, I'm Going To Leave You"
Unless you have the courage to leave right then, don't even think about saying this phrase. What if your significant other takes it seriously and leaves you on the spot?
"I'm Sorry That I'm Not Good Enough For You"
This phrase reeks of manipulation. Saying this flips the conversation on you and makes your partner feel guilty when you two should try and solve the current issue at hand.
"It's Fine"
Everyone in the world knows it isn't fine. Don't keep pushing things to the side. Solve them in a healthy manner. Neither of you will win if you keep arguing and not addressing what needs attention.
"I Want To Break Up"
"The top phrases to avoid in an argument are 'I wish I never would have married you,' 'I want a divorce,' and 'I don't think this is going to work anymore,'" says Dr. Wyatt Fisher, a clinical psychologist. The moment you say any of these, the security of the relationship plummets faster than the market during a pandemic.
