It can be quite disheartening to admit that as much as you love and care for someone, they might not feel as strongly. It leaves you feeling unappreciated, and can even make you wonder if you’re the problem.
Here are the signs that indicate no matter how hard you try, you’re probably living in a one-sided relationship and deserve more.
You Keep Having To Take Care Of Yourself
While there’s nothing wrong with being independent and relying on yourself, the whole point of a relationship is to have that extra shoulder to rely on.
That means when you need a hand, you shouldn’t have to ask for it. They should be willing and wanting to make you feel better.
They Only Want You At Your Best
The relationship seems great when you’re doing great, but as soon as you struggle, they want nothing to do with you. They expect you to always be in a good mood so as not to “drag them down.”
If they can’t handle you at your worst, then they don’t deserve you at your best.
They Don’t Attend Your Events
Every time you invite them to a family dinner or happy hour so they can finally meet your besties, they seem to be busy or conveniently don’t feel well.
They don’t care enough to integrate their life with yours or to impress your loved ones.
You Keep Finding Yourself Apologizing
You may think you’re helping by being the bigger person, but what you’re really doing is avoiding conflict and dismissing your own feelings.
Your partner will never end up taking accountability or doing the work to consider your needs.
You Make All The Plans
Every time you ask them where they want to go for a date or what they want to eat, they tell you to pick.
It may look like they’re easy-going, but really they’re just not wanting to put in the effort to plan and find ways to be romantic.
You Keep Feeling Insecure
You keep asking yourself if you’re enough. You don’t understand why. Even though you’re trying your hardest, they don’t seem to reciprocate the kind of love and affection that you give to them.
Be careful not to internalize that and question your own worth. It’s a “them” problem.
Your Time Together Makes You Feel Drained
You should be leaving your partner feeling happy and energized. If they make you feel drained, chances are it’s because you’re giving them so much more than you’re receiving.
This can be made worse if a lot of your hangouts include passive-aggressive behavior and constant bickering.
You Live By Their Schedule
Their limited availability makes you feel like you have to say yes every time they’re free. Except now you only hang out when they want to, and can’t seem to find them when you need them.
You’re never the priority, and in fact, feel like everything else on their calendar is more important than you.
You Justify Their Behavior To Your Friends
Friends usually have a way of seeing the toxicity that you’re too in love to notice.
If they keep bringing up issues that you feel like you have to defend then it might be time to take a step back and look again. You shouldn’t need to justify the way they mistreat you.
They Blame You Whenever You Fight
Whenever something goes wrong, they have a way of pinning it on you. They blame you so much that you end up self-blaming.
Ask yourself what emotion you feel when you think about them. In this case, it’s most likely anger and guilt.
They’re Surrounded By Negativity
It’s like they have the worst luck in the world and seem to always be in some kind of a rut. That means you’re constantly trying to fight off their negative energy so that it doesn’t bring you down too.
People who are constantly surrounded by negativity are usually the ones who aren’t doing anything about it and expect someone else to.
You’re Always Going Out Of Your Way
How come you’re the one who has to figure out how you’re going to drive them to the doctor’s before going to work and also plan cooking their dinner around the time they feel hungry?
Meanwhile, all they have to do is sit in the car, then sit on the couch.
They Want To Pretend Like Everything Is Fine
Despite your efforts of bringing relationship issues to light so you can work through them, they’d rather brush them under the rug.
This will continue to create an unhealthy relationship dynamic where your needs are never truly met because they’re not acknowledged as important.
They Tell You That You Ask For Too Much
Be careful of a partner who tells you that you’re either asking for too much or that you’re too much yourself.
If they can’t give you what you need and meet your standards, someone else will.
You Feel Like You’re Walking On Eggshells Around Them
You worry that the next thing you say will set them off, and you just can’t stand when they’re mad at you.
Rather than communicating calmly with you when they’re upset, they take things out on you. It shouldn’t be your job to cater to their feelings because they don’t know how to control them.
You Wonder If This Is What Love Is
If you’re having doubts about how your relationship feels and wonder what else is out there, it’s probably because you’re not getting enough from it.
It doesn’t matter how much more of yourself you give to it to fight those feelings if they don’t work just as hard.