Am I Annoying? How To Tell If You’re Getting On His Nerves And Should Back Off
How many times have you texted a friend asking if they thought you annoyed and pushed him away or if you're just overthinking it?
It turns out that there are actually quite a few ways to be able to tell for yourself if they're annoyed with you. Whether you need to give them space or walk away completely is entirely up to you once you've got the information you need.
He Doesn't Reach Out First
You thought maybe you'd do a fun little experiment and see how long it would take for him to text you if you didn't initiate it. Now you're on day three and you still haven't heard anything since you sent him three back-to-back messages detailing the finale of Selling Sunset.
Chances are he's taking some space to enjoy some quietness.
They Cross Their Legs Around You
Crossed legs or crossed arms usually signal resistance, which can be interpreted as a subtle sign of annoyance. It may not be a blatant eye-roll but it shows that they're closing themselves off from you.
On the other hand, open legs or mirroring you would show that they're relaxed and interested.
They Make A Lot Of "Jokes"
They may mask it as "just teasing you" or goofing around but if they often make jokes at your expense that are borderline mean, then they're likely just being passive-aggressive.
They say that behind every joke is some truth so pay attention to what the joke is about. Maybe they're telling you that you never stop talking or that you're too needy and don't know how to properly express it.
He's Always On The Defense
It's like he's ready to fight before you've even done anything and takes everything you say to the worst possible extreme. Odds are something has been bottling up inside him and he doesn't know how to make sense of it or bring it up.
Instead, he feels guilty and frustrated and it comes out in his aggression and causes you to bicker.
He Always Has Other Plans
He doesn't bother to let you know in advance or to include you in them. Instead, he's always just busy whenever you ask to hang out.
If he's not prioritizing time with you then he likely doesn't care to share those moments with you. This might actually end up getting annoying for you as well.
He Sighs Around You
They say that people sigh when they're bored, frustrated, anxious, or trying to calm themselves down. This is especially true in social situations.
If you're not exciting him and intriguing him, then you might be annoying him instead. Try to find hobbies and topics that you have in common that you could bond over instead.
They Keep "Forgetting" The Promises They Made
You've been excited all day for the burrito they told you they'd pick up for you on the way and they show up empty-handed. Clearly, they only agreed that they would get it to get you to stop asking, so you'd stop complaining that they never do anything nice for you.
This probably isn't the first time that they've made you empty promises just to end the conversation, is it?
They Just Keep Saying "Yes"
There's a difference between saying "yes" because they mean it and just trying to please you to get you to stop talking.
You could test them and find out if they even know what they just said yes to or if they're just filling in the silence.
He Keeps Tuning You Out
You miss the days where he seemed invested in the conversation and would ask follow-up questions. Now you're lucky if he even lifts his face up from his phone.
It seems like he always has something better to do than to actually listen to you. You stopped being able to have meaningful conversations that go beyond the weather that day.
He Cancels Last Minute
He doesn't want to deal with your nagging so he agrees to the date and you get all excited but when the time finally comes, he comes up with an excuse of why he can't make it.
The truth is he had no intention of going in the first place, he just didn't know how to get out of it.
He Keeps Interrupting You
It's quite rude to interrupt someone mid-speech. However, if this is a constant it might be time to ask yourself why—and think of your own behavior.
It could actually be a sign that they're annoyed by your manners but don't know how to tell you so they would rather just not deal with you instead.
He Stopped Showing Affection
If he's pulling away physically, there's probably something bothering him that he's not talking about. He's too annoyed by you to feel inclined to want to cuddle up to you.
This could be reversed once that tension is broken and you're able to confront and address the source of what's bothering him.
They Don't "Hear" You
He might be pretending not to be able to hear you for a few reasons. They might actually not be paying attention to anything you say or responding with a "huh" every once in a while which might actually be even worse.
If you feel like you're talking to yourself, rather than repeat yourself over and over, ask them what's on their mind.
They're Fidgety
Every time you're together, he has something to fidget with. He'll grab the pen beside him and tap it on the nearest surface or bounce his leg up and down.
He’s fidgeting because he’s redirecting his energy. Rather than show you that he's annoyed or frustrated, he's releasing it through another movement until he can be done with it. The more you get on his nerves, the more fidgety he will seem.
They Make Eye Contact With Others While Talking To You
Be careful when he makes eye contact with other people in your presence. If he's talked about and already expressed what is annoying him to them, they may be silently communicating about you.
Try to assert yourself and voice your discomfort with this behavior.
They Would Rather Walk Away, Then Fight
They may not bother trying to work on the relationship anymore if they're fed up with it or you. They may simply just walk away from their problems and even try to sabotage the relationship.
Just remember that you can't force them to put the effort in unless they want to do it themselves.
