20 Not-So-Obvious Signs Of Cheating
You can't quite put your finger on it yet, but something doesn't feel right. Your relationship dynamic has changed, and as much as you want to believe that's normal, you think that maybe there's someone else.
Watch out for these signs if you fear that you're getting cheated on, or look back to see if in hindsight you could've caught it earlier.
They Shower You With Love And Affection
You're finally receiving the attention you're craving...almost excessively. If it's quite sudden and almost exaggerated, it could be their way of compensating for their guilt and distracting you so you don't question if they're putting that attention somewhere else.
They Guard Their Phone Like Their Life Depends On It
There's suddenly a password on their lock screen. You keep catching them checking it subtly every few minutes like they're waiting for an important message and then suddenly smiling down at it.
Next thing you know, they're taking a call in the bathroom. Quite suspicious, isn't it?
Their Schedule Randomly Switches Up
For as long as you've known them, it's been work, gym, dinner, TV, repeat—with the occasional dinner out or drinks after work. All of a sudden, they're never home before 8 p.m., they're "working" weekends and needing to spend the night away for work. It might be time to investigate...
They Have A History Of Cheating
History repeats itself, so that means the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. If you didn't know they've previously cheated, it could be because they're going repeating the same mistake.
If you know they have cheated in the past, you can give them the benefit of the doubt, but don't be surprised if it happens again.
They Have A Ludic Love Style
Someone treats love too playfully and spontaneously might have a desire to experience multiple relationships without deep emotional investment.
They have a way of charming you and convincing you of their undying love and loyalty. Be wary of these people.
You're Not Meeting Their Needs
There is a model that claims that commitment to a relationship depends on three factors: relationship satisfaction, quality of alternatives, and investments. The more a person's needs are satisfied with things like intimacy and companionship, the more they believe there is no one better for them out there.
The energy, time, and effort you're both putting into the relationship could strengthen that commitment and prevent wandering eyes.
They Love Quickly And Intensely
The beginning of your relationship was so passionate. They might even have left someone else to be with you. That kind of person loves the excitement of love and the rush from constantly trying to recreate those initial butterflies.
They Change Up Their Look
They were just fine in their hoodie and sneakers, now, suddenly, these nice button-ups and dress shoes are coming out, along with a new haircut. Did they randomly decide to put in more effort to work on themselves, or are they trying to impress someone new?
Your Relationship Issues Have Mysteriously Disappeared
You never actually addressed your issues or worked on them, you just stopped fighting and your issues somehow went away. They're actually appearing to be in a better mood and are treating you better.
As much as it could be them trying to make an effort, it could also be a sign that they're focusing their energy elsewhere.
They're Taking Up New Hobbies
If the same person who was never a morning person is suddenly setting 6 a.m. alarms to go for runs and signing up to run a marathon, you might want to ask yourself what sparked this sudden interest in sports.
They Avoid Confrontation Like The Plague
Be careful if they keep getting defensive every time you try to confront them. They don't want to have to explain or give you a story and risk you blowing their cover. So they'd rather deflect and make you feel bad for irritating them with such questions.
They Smell Different
This can be kind of tricky to detect, as it's easy to pick someone else's strong perfume up in the office or the smell of cigarettes from riding the subway. However if you've got a good nose and you start to notice the same scent a few times, it might be time to wonder where it comes from.
They Get You A Gift For No Reason
It's not your birthday, it's not Christmas, and it's not Valentine's Day, so why is there a bouquet of flowers and the newest iPhone sitting on your lap? Although they could just be trying to spoil you, such extravagant gifts are usually cover-ups for guilt and deception.
You Find Unaccounted-For Transactions
Why would they order food the same night you were cooking for them, and how did the liquor store bill suddenly double? They might be able to justify the extra costs, but eventually, it won't add up if they're seeing someone on the side.
They Have A Shorter Temper
If they're cheating, they're likely to be on edge from the guilt. Plus, they might be looking for a way out without actually wanting to have to break up with you. Instead, they'll start little fights just to get you to like them a little less and maybe even do the breaking up for them.
They're Suddenly More Adventurous
They suddenly want to take you drinking at the local pub like you're 21 again, and are suggesting you try skydiving.
They say that affairs make people feel young and impulsive again, because of the rush of sneaking around and being with someone new. That can seep into other behaviors.
They Get Overly Jealous
They might even go to the extent of accusing YOU of cheating! They figure if they're doing it, then you might be doing it too. So watch out if they freak out because you smiled at the waiter.
They Don't Want To Bring You As Their Plus One Anymore
Suddenly your invitation to work parties and drinks with their friends gets lost in the mail. You don't think you did anything wrong, and their friends seemed to like you.
Perhaps they're trying to keep you away from their new interest or fear you'll catch them if you're around the person they're cheating with.
They Can't Remember Which Stories They've Told You
They keep telling you the same story twice or assuming you know what they're talking about and getting upset at you for not remembering a story you're sure they've never mentioned.
This could be because they're sharing those same stories with someone else and can't keep track of what they've shared with whom.
Your Gut Tells You Something Is Wrong
Gut instinct, or intuition, is your immediate interpretation and understanding without relying on others' opinions or overthinking. It's the purest reflection of what you truly feel and think.
That's why it's important to trust it even if you can't quite explain it. At the end of the day, if you have doubts, it doesn't hurt to clear your mind and find out the truth, even if what you find out might hurt you.
