10 Signs You’re Serious And 10 Signs You’re Not

Dating is complicated, and these days, it seems like all the things we thought meant we were serious don’t mean that at all. Then there are the things that seem small and inconsequential that are actually signs that you’re going in the direction of seriously dating…

It can be hard to navigate things these days, but here are some things that might help.

Not Serious: You Go On Dates

a couple sitting on a rock by the water
Photo Credit: Pexels / Jasmine Carter
Photo Credit: Pexels / Jasmine Carter

Going on dates itself seems to be such a thing of the past. These days, we’re just “hanging out” with someone. Unless you’ve specifically talked about the fact that you’re romantically involved, there’s a good chance that your dates aren’t as serious as you think.

Serious: You’ve Both Deleted Your Dating Apps

People love having their dating apps. We say we hate them, but do we really? They’re like a train wreck of validation that we can’t look away from. But if you and the guy you’ve been spending time with have both deleted your dating apps, then that’s an excellent sign.

Not Serious: You Kiss

a couple kissing in the street kissing with heart balloons
Photo Credit: Pexels / freestocks.org
Photo Credit: Pexels / freestocks.org

People will kiss anyone these days. It’s sad but true. In a world where we get a little tipsy and try and make out with strangers, kissing has lost its weight as a serious sign of dating.

Serious: You’re Comfortable In Silence

It takes a real connection with someone to be comfortable enough with them to sit and enjoy each other’s company in silence. It means you don’t feel like you have to always be “on” and trying to impress each other.

Not Serious: You’ve Slept Together

couple kissing on couch while watching Netflix
Photo Credit: Pexels / Edward Eyer
Photo Credit: Pexels / Edward Eyer

Friends with benefits and random hookups have made sleeping together something that can be done outside of a relationship. That isn’t a bad thing! Everyone should feel empowered to have the relationship they want, but if you want a serious one, don’t assume that sleeping together means you’re exclusive or serious.

Serious: You Don’t Just Sleep Together

If you start having sleepovers where you are sleeping next to one another, not with one another, then while it seems counterintuitive, that’s a good sign! There is a level of intimacy and comfort there that doesn’t come without some kind of commitment.

Not Serious: He Invited You Out With His Friends

a group of friends on a rooftop cheersing with red solo cups
Photo Credit: Pexels / cottonbro
Photo Credit: Pexels / cottonbro

He invited you out with his friends, so what? He just wanted to make sure he could have his cake and eat it, too, especially if he didn’t hype it up as an important relationship milestone.

Serious: His Friends Follow You On Instagram

It should always be assumed that the friends of the person you’re dating know pretty much everything about you, so if their friends have met you and they start following you on Instagram, it means they know you’re probably sticking around and they’re here for that.

Not Serious: You Text Every Day

a woman smiling at her phone that she's holding
Photo Credit: Pexels / Jhosua Rodríguez
Photo Credit: Pexels / Jhosua Rodríguez

Think of all the people you text with every day, and think of how many of them are actually people you like and want to date? Remember that we all have our phones glued to us and sending memes and talking dirty don’t really mean anything.

Serious: You Talk Every Day

However, if the two of you take time to talk about your day and are both genuinely interested in what the other person has going on in their lives, it’s probably because you want to be in each other’s lives.

Not Serious: He Talks To You About His Problems

a couple on a picnic. she's lying on his lap with a book on her chest smiling at him
Photo Credit: Pexels / Mental Health America
Photo Credit: Pexels / Mental Health America

People love to talk about their problems, and there are people in the world who are kind of emotionally promiscuous and will just spill their guts to anyone who would listen. This is especially a bad sign if they talk to you a lot about an ex.

Serious: They Come To You For Advice

If they’re coming to you with an issue and want to genuinely talk it out and they’re seeking your advice, not just being there to complain, then it means that they value your opinion.

Not Serious: He Gets Jealous

a guy taking a selfie taking a picture of him hugging his girlfriend
Photo Credit: Pexels / Pixabay
Photo Credit: Pexels / Pixabay

Just because someone is jealous of the attention you’re getting doesn’t mean that anything is serious between the two of you, it just means that they want to be the only one they’re paying attention to.

Serious: You’re On His Lock Screen

But, if you’re the lock screen image on his phone, then you know that’s a cute little sign that things are serious. He wants you to be the first thing he looks at every time he checks his phone.

Not Serious: He Said He Likes You

couple lying on a bed together
Photo Credit: Pexels / Ba Tik
Photo Credit: Pexels / Ba Tik

Saying that you like someone and making the decision to be in a committed relationship with them are two totally different things. It takes very little commitment to tell someone you like them, but it’s probably true. But that doesn’t mean they want to date you.

Serious: People Know About Your Relationship

A big sign that the relationship you’re in is serious is that people know about the relationship. It isn’t something that only goes down behind closed doors—you both talk about it, and other people know you’re seeing someone.

Not Serious: You Think He Likes You Back

a couple lying in the grass together
Photo Credit: Pexels / Jaspereology
Photo Credit: Pexels / Jaspereology

Like we said, someone liking you doesn’t mean that you’re going to be in a serious relationship with them. It’s also possible that you’re just projecting your desire for them to like you back so strongly that you’re seeing signs that aren’t there.

Serious: You Have Plans In The Future

If you’ve been able to make plans with him for a few weeks or a month from now, like a concert or dinner plans, and you were able to do that without pulling too many teeth, then that’s a good sign!

Not Serious: He’s Held Your Hand In Public

two people standing in front of a blue wall
Photo Credit: Pexels / Илья Торопов
Photo Credit: Pexels / Илья Торопов

Holding each other’s hands isn’t as intimate as we want it to be, at the very least it means that you’re heavily flirting, and that does not a relationship make.

Serious: You Know Each Other’s Netflix Passwords

Think about your Netflix password, and think about the people you’ve shared it with. There’s a good chance that you’ve never shared it with someone you thought wasn’t going to be sticking around.