Women Share The Spiciest Backhanded Compliments They’ve Received

It might have come from a first date or maybe from your mother when you were a teenager, but chances are there’s at least one time in your life that you’ve received a backhanded compliment.

You know, that compliment that leaves you walking away feeling like you were insulted, except someone said it with a smile and maybe even meant it in a positive way, but you’re still a little bit offended. You’re not alone, though, and you may have even received the same comment as some of these other people…

“I Don’t Know Why Everyone Hates You And Thinks You’re Annoying. You Seem Okay To Me!” — Reddit / dexterrr96

woman making big gestures
Photo Credit: Pexels
Photo Credit: Pexels

Have fun thinking about that comment for the rest of the school year, spending hours wondering which of your friends or classmates are the ones who are trash-talking you behind your back.

“You’re Pretty, So You’ll Be Fine”

group of people seated woman facing camera
Photo Credit: Pexels
Photo Credit: Pexels

“Thanks. So helpful to know that being pretty (not any of the hard work I’ve put in/will put in) equates to my success in the health care field.” — Reddit / bougieparfummee

“I Just Want You To Know That I Don’t Think You’re That Fat.” — Reddit / Leelluu

couple seated under tree outside
Photo Credit: Pexels / Andrea Piacquadio
Photo Credit: Pexels / Andrea Piacquadio

Thank you for telling someone unprovoked that you don’t consider them to be fat. They might not have thought of themselves that way either, but chances are they’re going to think about it now—thanks to you.

“I Mean, You’re An 8 To Me Where Most Guys Would Give You 5–6”

pexels-trinity-kubassek-246367 (2)
Photo Credit: Pexels / Trinity Kubassek
Photo Credit: Pexels / Trinity Kubassek

“This was a 16-year-old boy’s way of trying to talk me (20 y/o) into dating him after I had said no multiple times. I laughed my a** off.” — Reddit

He should stick to wooing girls in his own age group with his ever-present charm.

“Well, I’m Not Dating You For Your Looks.” — Reddit

couple seated at coffee shop
Photo Credit: Unsplash
Photo Credit: Unsplash

This was their partner’s response that was meant to make them feel better while they were having a crisis about whether they had a terrible personality or not. Sure, it validates that they don’t, in fact, have a terrible personality, but now they can worry about their physical looks.

“I Love Your Hair! It Looks So Much Better When It’s Straight!”

two women seated at water
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Martins Zemlickis
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Martins Zemlickis

“I often get this comment when I straighten my curly hair. Like, thanks for telling me you think my hair looks bad 97% of the time??” — Reddit / emilemily5

“Wow, You Eat Everything. That’s Awesome.” — Reddit

eating breakfast at restaurant
Photo Credit: Pexels / Roman Odintsov
Photo Credit: Pexels / Roman Odintsov

Said while on a date at a restaurant, because everyone wants to discuss their eating habits while on a first date. A girl’s gotta eat, okay? You’ve got to eat to live, there’s no point in hiding it!!

“Don’t Take This The Wrong Way But You Look Better In Person Than Photos” — Reddit

man and woman meeting for drink
Photo Credit: Pexels
Photo Credit: Pexels

It’s great that you exceed expectations in person, but if someone feels the need to start a sentence with “don’t take this the wrong way,” it probably is going to be taken wrong.

“Wow, Your Face Almost Makes Up For (Pauses) The Rest.” — Reddit / alltheselittleones

two women and man talking
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Alexis Brown
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Alexis Brown

What do you mean the rest? Also putting “almost” in that sentence really doesn’t help the cause or make the person feel any better about what you’re saying to them.

“Your Lips Give Me Erotic Dreams. I Want To Lock You In A Cage And Keep You Forever.” — Reddit / bluejay_way

man leaning over woman's shoulder
Photo Credit: Pexels
Photo Credit: Pexels

Is it scarier that this was sent to someone as a comment from a stranger on social media, or would it have been worse if someone who knows you (and knows where you live) said this? Either way, it gives off major serial killer vibes.

“You Could Be A Model If Only You Got A Nose Job.” — Reddit / symphony64

couple sitting on floor looking serious
Photo Credit: Pexels / Ketut Subiyanto
Photo Credit: Pexels / Ketut Subiyanto

Other supposed-to-be compliments also include comments such as “If you lost like 15 more pounds, you’d be perfect,” and “I love your hair color. It’s like the fading orange that shows up for bleached hair.” Apparently, that faded bleach orange was actually just strawberry blonde…

“You’re Pretty Smart For A Farmer’s Daughter.” — Reddit / tinymyths

the usual upset bench couple
Photo Credit: Pexels / Vera Arsic
Photo Credit: Pexels / Vera Arsic

So the person making the comment managed to not only insult the person they were talking to, but also make a rude comment about her family. That’s not a great first impression.

“I Like Your Hair When You Leave It Down”

silhouette of couple at night
Photo Credit: Pexels
Photo Credit: Pexels

“From my ex-bf, when I had my hair half-up in a style that I thought looked really nice on me.” — Reddit / sillysandhouse

Wait until they ask for your opinion on their hairstyle…

“‘You Look Good For 30.’ Lol, I Just Turned 21 Around Then.” — Reddit / JuiceGasLean

couple seated at water outdoors
Photo Credit: Unsplash
Photo Credit: Unsplash

So you look good for 30, but not so good for 21. When you’re a teenager, all you want is for people to think you’re older, but that quickly stops becoming something you want once you hit your 20s.

“Your Sister’s The Nice One And You’re The Clever One.” — Reddit / Zeiserl

women on beach laughing
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Ben White
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Ben White

This was coming from their mother, too. She managed to simultaneously offend both of her daughters, though they still can’t decide which person should be more upset about their side of the compliment.

“You’d Be Really Hot If You Were White.” — Reddit / Cosmic_Hitchhiker

two women talking at table seated
Photo Credit: Pexels / Christina Morillo
Photo Credit: Pexels / Christina Morillo

There is no way that anyone could not take at least a little bit of offense to a comment like this, and more than likely they took a lot of offense from it. You’d have to dig pretty far to find the compliment here.

“You Are X For A Girl.” — Reddit

man talking to woman back facing camera
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Charles Deluvio
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Charles Deluvio

If you have to justify your compliment or qualify it as only applying to someone because they’re a girl, it’s probably not a compliment in the first place. The comment should end after “you are X.”

“How Come You’re So Pretty And Clever?”

workplace man and woman talking
Photo Credit: Pexels / fauxels
Photo Credit: Pexels / fauxels

“Dude honestly sounded completely confounded too. This was part of his attempt to chat me up on a work outing, and an older female colleague just roared with laughter at him, and told him to give it up because his chat was terrible.” — Reddit / ConnieC60

“You’re Not Commercially Beautiful, But There’s Something About You.” — Reddit / zepopsmiths

man and woman talking at work
Photo Credit: Pexels
Photo Credit: Pexels

Chances are that if this person doesn’t fit into the conventional standards of beauty that all women are made to feel like they should meet, they’re already aware of that. She doesn’t need a reminder from you.

“I Can Find Something Attractive In Anyone, Like, Your Eyebrows Are Really Nice.” — Reddit / ContextIsForTheWeak

women seated talking outside
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Trung Thanh
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Trung Thanh

It’s better than them coming up with something like “you have a nice personality,” and maybe you do have really nice eyebrows, but the first half of this sentence takes away from the moment.