April Fools’ is a day dedicated to playing practical jokes and making a fool of your closest friends and family, but some of us don’t need a holiday for that—in fact, some of us make total fools of ourselves on a regular basis completely unprovoked.
While there are many ways to take L’s in life, dating is one of the most common places we really feel them. These are women who really probably do feel like an April Fool when it comes to love.
Spain But The “S” Is Silent
There are few things that are more painful than when you are already lowering your bar for someone and they still somehow try to get it lower.
Girl, pack up what’s left of your pride and run.
She Really Had Me In The First Half
At first, I thought that this woman was out here really keeping up her standards and protecting herself.
Turns out she’s just as likely to get clowned by ignoring red flags as the rest of us.
That Was Not For Your Eyes, Sir
The insane things I do on my own time and share with my besties on my private story are my business.
Honestly, men should be banned from ever viewing the finsta.
Really Came Back To Slap Her In The Face
Teaching your boyfriend about feminine things like makeup is all fun and games until he starts clocking you for having an uneven contour.
I’m never letting a man understand how eyeliner works.
Oh No Baby, What Is You Doing?
First of all, I can’t believe that this guy said he couldn’t come to visit his girlfriend because he didn’t want to waste gas.
Second of all, I can’t believe that she ended up paying him to come to see her.
He Was Not Ready For That
Can you imagine if you were trying to flirt with someone at the bar and they started showing you their break-up texts on the dance floor to “Ice Ice Baby”?
I would never try to flirt again.
Therapists Have No Chill
The reason I will never get a therapist is that I don’t think I could handle being called out on my garbage.
The stupid, unhealthy things I do are none of my business.
Living With A Man Is So Painful
I bet that looking at this bed head-on is so bizarre for any stranger.
How is one side going to be so immaculately arranged and the other one doesn’t even have a bedside table?
The Ultimate Betrayal
One of the most painful things about having a partner cheat on you is imagining them doing all the things they did with you with someone else.
Even if that “thing” is sharing an STD.
Alexa, Play “Dirty Little Secret” By The All-American Rejects
Movies always make it seem like a secret romance is something steamy and exhilarating.
In reality, it just feels really dehumanizing to have your significant other not want to be seen in public with you.
I’m Guessing There Was No Second Date
One of the hardest things about dating is how small the pool of singles is.
You’ll try to go out with a date but it turns out the person is always someone you know’s ex/brother/sister/best friend.
So He’ll Never Be Seeing Those Again
When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, it can hard to keep things spicy and exciting.
This woman was just trying to keep the chemistry alive and he probably scarred her for life.
This Is Vaccination Discrimination!
Back in the day, all I had to worry about was that a guy might find my personality abrasive and find someone else.
Now I have to worry that he’ll forget about me because I haven’t been vaccinated yet?
Children Are A Public Menace
You know how, in the midst of a divorce, most parents tell their kids that it’s not their fault?
This daughter is going to grow up having to know that she, in fact, was the reason for her parents’ divorce.
The Groupchat Will Eat Me Alive
I swear that men are reverse catfishes on social media, meaning that they will be hot in person but look horrible in all of their photos.
You show pics of him to your friends and suddenly they’re booking you an appointment at the optometrist.
So That Story About The Tortoise Lied
Remember that one fable where the moral of the story is that “slow and steady wins the race”?
Well, that was clearly a lie, and now miss girl doesn’t have a boyfriend anymore.
I Would Like To Form A Town Called Matthew, Ohio
Okay, but this woman might be onto something.
What if we just took all the Matts and put them into their own town so that no woman would have to interact with one of them again?
It’s The Duality Of Woman
Women will complain about never having a boyfriend and not meeting any good guys.
Women will also do absolutely nothing to actively meet a significant other—in fact, they might actively avoid it. I’m women.
I Will Not Remember These Names
God bless my friends: they are often more invested in my romantic life than even I am.
One time, I told my friends I was going on a date with a guy and mentioned his name and, within 10 minutes, they found a photo of his parents to drop in the group chat.
There Is Hope
Sure, we might be a ragtag team of absolute fools, April or any other month of the year, but there’s hope.
One day, we might actually stop acting like clowns.