One of the most incredible things about social media is how connected it makes us all feel. We can be in touch with people we otherwise never would have been able to reach.
It’s so inspiring when these communities of people come together to do things like roast straight men and demand answers to the questions we were all wondering about.
What Do They Think Is In There?
What’s more annoying is when they ask you to put things in your purse for them, but then they won’t go into your purse to retrieve them. My boyfriend always says it’s because his mom raised him right…but I think she might have just raised him lazy.
It’s So Annoying
Here we are, spending hundreds of dollars and so much time on our skincare routine, and we still get pimples and dry skin. Men have the audacity to splash water on their face and have clean, tight skin. It’s wasted on them.
What Is It You’re Saying?
Like, is this supposed to mean that you see me? Because that was literally the point of me putting that fire selfie up on Instagram. Why is it so hard for men to use their words?
Speaking Of Annoying Emojis
The fire emoji is one of those emojis that you start sending to your girlfriends ironically and then, over time, you kind of start to mean it? But when a man, especially one you don’t really know, uses it, it just has a middle school vibe to it.
You’re Not Special
Men are out here thinking that everything a woman does to make themselves beautiful is to win them over, but guess what? Straight men are literally the last people on our minds when we’re putting on that mascara.
Make Them Sleep On The Couch
The sound of some men snoring is so loud that it’s honestly a shock that they don’t wake themselves up. To be fair…women snore too. I hate to admit it, but we’ve got to accept our faults sometimes.
And You Expect Kisses?
Do you think that it’s possible that straight men just don’t know that chapstick is a thing? Do they think that it’s not cool or masculine to take care of your lips? If you want kisses, I expect smooth lips!
How Is Their Electric Bill Not Through The Roof?
Honestly, the ceiling light thing kind of makes sense when you think about the fact that most men’s bedrooms are just a mattress on the floor with nothing else—other than the bedsheets they’ve probably never washed.
It’s A Valid Question
As much as I would like to think that men are taking this time to think about their actions and how they can contribute to the world, they are probably just playing video games and wishing they could still play girls on Tinder.
What Is This Code For?
Are you trying to show me that you have friends? Is this the person I should be interested in, not you? Or is it perhaps an unconscious tender moment where they’re feeling good about the people they surrounded themselves with?
Do They Even Use Them?
Really, men who have Twitter accounts are out here just smashing the like button and retweeting other people’s tweets. They don’t actually say anything funny themselves, which is what Twitter is for.
You Would Think That It Was
I have a secret theory that men don’t even know that they’re wasting other people’s time because they don’t have the capacity to think about other people in the first place.
What Are They Hiding From?
OK. Does anyone else find it annoying when someone you’re expecting gets to your house and you look out the window and know they are there but then spend the next 15 minutes just sitting in their car? Why? Are you trying to power up, or checking your phone? What is it?
All Of A Sudden, It’s Gone
It really does feel like guys think they only have to do nice things and put the effort into seeing someone for the first, like, month that you’re hanging out.
It’s Honestly Appalling
This is the same thing as the skincare issue. They somehow have nice skin all over their body even though they never moisturize, and even though they use a two-in-one shampoo/body wash combo.
I know that this is supposed to be some kind of compliment, but it just rubs me the wrong way. Like, men already have this idea in their head of how a woman should be, and then they congratulate us on getting there?
Try It Sometime
Men all think that they love women who have a natural look to them, but guess what, honey? That “natural” look came from an Urban Decay palette and lots of highlighter.
Is Anyone Listening?
I like how some men still feel the need to tell women what it is they do and don’t like about women. Like, have an opinion, sure, but don’t expect me to listen or care. Especially if it’s dumb.
What’s With All The Touching?
They certainly do not touch men when they walk by them, because that would mean showing something other than indifference to the same sex. Most men still don’t know that they can have feelings and friends.
Are They Just Practicing To Be A Dad?
Real talk: It’s fun to make fun of men because it’s just so easy. But most of us aren’t really man-haters. We all have men in our lives that we love immensely. They just drive us nuts sometimes.