Tweets That Will Resonate If You’re More Mess Than Hot

I’m tired of having to apologize for the state of my life.

Honestly, could I be doing better? Yes. Do I want to be doing better? Maybe. Will I ever do something about it? It’s honestly undecided at this point, because you would think if I was going to, I would have, but also maybe someday I’ll hit rock bottom…

Being Reckless With Money Is My Main Personality Trait

Tweet: my debit card is more like a gift card...not sure how much is on this, but we'll give it a try
Photo Credit: Twitter / @MuenchchowGriffin
Photo Credit: Twitter / @MuenchchowGriffin

When it’s pretty much impossible to pay off student debt and live my life anyway, why bother doing it at all? Any time I have any amount of savings, the engine light goes on anyway, so whatever.

Children…OR Doing Whatever I Want All The Time?

children vs chicken tweet
Photo Credit: Twitter / @auntieeva7
Photo Credit: Twitter / @auntieeva7

Maybe I want kids someday, but that someday is way out in the future because right now I can hardly handle dealing with myself and my own mood swings and living habits.

If Every Day Is A Bad Day, Are Those Just Your Days?

Tweet: The problem with 'treat yo self' is that I don't know how to stop. I had a bad day in April and I've been treating myself ever since.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @itsdjluigi
Photo Credit: Twitter / @itsdjluigi

I’ve been treating myself since 2008 because that’s about when life started to go off the rails. Puberty was a lot, and my life since has just been a bunch of coping with the trauma.

I’ll Do It When I Get To It

Tweet:
Photo Credit: Twitter / @spicy_emma
Photo Credit: Twitter / @spicy_emma

Look, it isn’t like I don’t want to take better care of myself, I do. But sometimes, it feels like an impossible mountain to climb. Or, a basket or laundry in this case.

Was High School Really My Glory Days?

Tweet: why did teachers put your name on the board when you laughed or talked in class? lmao free clout?
Photo Credit: Twitter / @tdotwania
Photo Credit: Twitter / @tdotwania

Honestly, no. It was awful, but there is something to be said about how things that seemed like the end of the world then are just normal daily struggles now.

“Pay Attention To Meeeeee”

Tweet: Me posting dramatic stuff online for attention
Photo Credit: Twitter / @blythos
Photo Credit: Twitter / @blythos

We all say that we don’t like to be the center of attention, but anyone who says this is lying. Saying it out loud is a sure-fire way to make sure you get there.

There Are People I Know Who Are Successful

Tweet: idk how people can look at a newborn and say it looks like their parents like girl it looks like a piece of ham
Photo Credit: Twitter / @damn_lui
Photo Credit: Twitter / @damn_lui

And good for them, but I’m sorry, maybe you think that reaching your life goals and starting a family is “success,” but I feel like getting to work on time and bringing my own lunch is pretty impressive, too.

Learn How To Read Minds Then

Tweet: i apologize to him in my head and he if he don't hear it that's on him
Photo Credit: Twitter / @juliannarvivas
Photo Credit: Twitter / @juliannarvivas

If your partner doesn’t know everything going on in your head, then are they really the person for you? No, probably not, and nobody else will be, either, because humans aren’t mind-readers.

There Are Rules To This Thing, OK?

Tweet: Y'all checking Snapchat while on the aux...come on bro. Let's be professional. Please.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @WrongN1K
Photo Credit: Twitter / @WrongN1K

I may be a hot mess, but at least I know better than to be a dick to people who are waiting tables or check my Snaps so everyone can hear but no one can see what’s going on.

I Wash My Hair Sometimes

Tweet: I don't even open my front facing camera anymore what I look like is none of my business
Photo Credit: Twitter / @radioheadass
Photo Credit: Twitter / @radioheadass

How do these girls do it who master makeup and look like a Barbie doll all the time? I can’t even find a foundation that doesn’t make me look like I’m wearing it.

We’re Flying High Or Way Too Low

Tweet: I have two moods
Photo Credit: Twitter / @pouysiann
Photo Credit: Twitter / @pouysiann

It keeps me on my toes. I wake up and I’m like, “so what’s it gonna be today? Are we in a good mood or is the end of the world nigh?”

Don’t Talk To Me About My Public Social Media Pages

Tweet: I come on Twitter to talk to myself publicaly
Photo Credit: Twitter / @aafire_
Photo Credit: Twitter / @aafire_

Mind your own business, I don’t even know what I’m doing half the time, so if you don’t understand what I just tweeted or are “worried about me,” well, join the club, friend.

It’s Not Like I Asked To Be Born

Tweet: Why did I have to be human, like why couldn't I have been one of Jefree Star's pomeranians
Photo Credit: Twitter / @hope_3232
Photo Credit: Twitter / @hope_3232

I’m not ungrateful. It just seems like a cruel trick to bring another human into existence and then basically tell them that they’re gonna have to figure it out as they go.

Life Is Gonna Be What It’s Gonna Be

Tweet: last night was a PowerPoint bro
Photo Credit: Twitter / @chaselyons
Photo Credit: Twitter / @chaselyons

Here’s a serious question, what do you think it means to have a night that’s like a PowerPoint? Was it long and pointless, or did it flash before your eyes?

But Pizza And Cheese, Though

Tweet: My current body type is like you can sorta tell I work but you can also tell that I don't say no when someone offers me a cookie
Photo Credit: Twitter / @bassett_sydney
Photo Credit: Twitter / @bassett_sydney

Why do all the foods that taste so yummy and delicious have to be the foods that are so bad for you? And I don’t wanna hear anything about how tasty veggies are, because they aren’t.

Who Has Time For A Whole Breakfast?

Tweet: the one granola bar in my stomach waiting for me to eat an actual meal
Photo Credit: Twitter / @_vircardo
Photo Credit: Twitter / @_vircardo

This is what I mean. Eating healthy is difficult, and having the energy or time to eat a balanced diet that’s scheduled and supports your body? Pretty much impossible. Thanks for nothing, nutrition!

I’m Really Not That Smart

Tweet: Hate how the compose tweet button looks like a quill pen. I am not worldly. I'm not an intellectual. I am a blithering idiot. Give me a crayon.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @heldmelong
Photo Credit: Twitter / @heldmelong

A lot of energy goes into using the right kinds of words and opinions to make it seem like I know what’s going on in the world, but really, I have no clue and just am repeating what Twitter tells me.

Self-Care Is My Lifeline

Tweet: *does a face mask* this is going to fix everything
Photo Credit: Twitter / @alyinas
Photo Credit: Twitter / @alyinas

If doing a face mask isn’t going to save me from my impending doom, then I don’t want to be saved, because that just pretty much means it’s all beyond help anyway.

Chicken Tender Grease Is Who I Am

Tweet: I hate when my Touch ID doesn't work on my phone like c'mon you already know it's me with a little chicken tenders grease
Photo Credit: Twitter / @TheDaltonHill
Photo Credit: Twitter / @TheDaltonHill

Why isn’t this something that our iPhones have figured out? Who has hands that are free of food grease often enough that this isn’t an issue in their life? I would like to know.

Dating? Forget It

Tweet: I just really want a nice, single guy, really feels like all the good ones are already taken
Photo Credit: Twitter / @dbs_tweets
Photo Credit: Twitter / @dbs_tweets

It’s more like getting to know one another until you find a socially acceptable reason to hate them and then going back to the dating apps because that’s somehow more comfortable.