One of the greatest things about Twitter is how uninhibited everyone feels. It's like the Wild West: people just let it all out, and thank goodness they do! Because you know what? It's good to know that you're not alone.
It's so relieving to scroll through your feed and see a bunch of tweets that make you say, sometimes out loud, "Wow, that is totally me."
They Never Do
Gone are the days (for now) when we do anything with our friends that includes telling them to get home safely. It would be redundant to tell them as you hang up the phone.
What A Decade This Year Has Been
Did anyone else tell themselves the classic "New Year, New Me" lies? Like, this was going to be my year to do all the things I've wanted to do every year...and then this happens.
They're Totally Different
It blows that all the social media platforms have ways to tell you if someone is online now. Gone are the days of being able to ignore someone in peace.
Was It Ever Clear?
I don't know about you, but snacking has always been a problem in my life. I didn't need this freak disaster to show me the error of my ways, I already knew.
I'm Sorry, Who?
At least we're good enough with faces to know that we should have met before. It could be worse, we could just have no memory of your existence at all.
We All Have A Journey
Sometimes, you hear someone order something in Starbucks that clearly indicates they're going through something, but it's best just to let them have their space. Let them grab their lid first, maybe even hand them a napkin.
Throwback For Sure
Being in the womb might have been the last time any of us had a decent night's sleep. Can you remember the last time you were like yeah, "This is good. I'm glad"?
It's An Artform
Look, just because you can't see my artistic vision that's clearly going to take over Instagram one day, doesn't mean that I'm not super talented and important and interesting, OK?
Still Wondering What The Problem Is
You know what I don't understand? Why does taking good care of yourself have to be so hard? Like, why can't we just stand with good posture and look good no matter what we eat?
Does Anyone Know For Sure?
You ever see those tweets that tell you to unclench your jaw and relax your shoulders and when you do, it's like all this tension you didn't know existed disappears for a split second?
Can't Have Fun With This
The brain is like the anti-fun. You can't actually do anything you enjoy while it's working because it's just going to remind you of all the things you should be doing instead.
The Struggle Is Real
What kills me is not knowing who the liar is. Is it my mirror, or is it the front-facing camera? Because there is no way that the way I look can change that much so quickly.
Take-Out It Is
It really is a struggle because when you get home from work, it feels like it's too early for dinner, but if you relax for even one second, you're getting take-out.
Stalking Is Out The Window
We can't hold anyone accountable for their social media actions at this time. Go and like your ex's pictures, watch people's stories right after they post them. This is not the time to play it cool.
Whatever That Is...
Yeah, it's great that work set you up with one, but they should really walk you through all the finer details instead of just sending an email assuming that you're going to actually read it.
Should Have Been A Mind Reader
If he doesn't know how to read your mind, then girl, is he even the right man for you? How else is he going to know when you admit that you're wrong sometimes?
What's Yours Is Mine
The only downside to this is when he wants to start wearing your clothes. You can let him, just make sure that he doesn't look cuter in them than you do.
All The O's
Honestly, the crazier the world seems and the crazier I feel, the funnier everything gets. I'm sorry, I can't help it that I don't understand when an appropriate time to laugh is.
Lots Of Worries
Who else says "no worries" a lot for someone who actually has a lot of worries? Why is it that we are always trying to put the needs of others before our own?!
That's Just How It Works
I feel like the likelihood of finding someone you like enough to hang out with until you die is less than the likelihood that you won't meet someone before you die. Know what I mean?
Thinking Is Overrated
Don't you ever have those moments in life where you just feel like you wish you could take your brain out and put it somewhere else and just enjoy life?
There's Something Soothing About Produce
Am I the only one who finds the grocery store, like, strangely comfortable? All that yummy food and the droning of the radio playing those hits that are old enough that they make you remember the good old days...
Thinking About Not Thinking About It
How long until we understand that thinking about not thinking about something is the same thing as thinking about it, basically? Like, what am I suppose to do with this vicious cycle?
Do I Fit In Here?
When you have imposter syndrome, it's hard to feel like you fit in anywhere and like you're good at anything, but it's especially bad at work because you always feel like you're not doing a good job.
Brains Are Just Always Letting Us Down
No one is going to let you down more than your own brain that is struggling to remember something important. But you can always hear the lyrics of a song you don't even like rattling around in there.
Baby Gets What She Wants
Anything in the name of self-care, am I right? If that means treating yourself to Starbucks because you deserve it, then you should do that because you know what you need.
Face Masks Fix Everything
Putting on a face mask and pouring a glass of wine is going to help you get through anything, including remembering everything you learned in a semester without cracking a book open.
Drinking: Fixing Problems And Creating Them
How many times do you think you're going to get away with lying to God about how you're going to never drink again? You think that they don't already know you're not telling the truth?
Cooking Is The Devil
There is this thing that happens when you make plans to eat better and take better care of yourself and then you wake up the next day and you are no longer interested in that and you're stuck with groceries.
Never Trust That You're Not Going To Run Into Anyone
The moment you think that you're not going to see anyone when you go out, you should know that you've just fated yourself to running into the last person you want to see.