Twitter remains one of the greatest social platforms of all time. We all long for Twitter fame while we scroll through our feed and reading all the people who perfectly captured our feelings in words that we only could have dreamed of finding. It really is the most relatable place on the internet. Truly.
Flirting Is Tough To Do At The Best Of Times
I would leave this interaction very unsure of how to act. Was he just stupid and didn’t get my advances, or is he saying, “No, I would sooner die than see you in the shower”?
Honestly, Only On The Good Days
Since when has it become a rule that you have to put the laundry away on the same day that you do it? You already put so much effort into putting it into the machine and then into the dryer, that’s enough for one day.
We Like What We Like
Those Hollister store remixes were insane, and they truly did rival the clubs. It was like a gateway for people who wanted to be a famous DJ. If you can make it at Hollister, you can make it anywhere.
Time Is All Relative Anyway
The “should I wash my hair or shouldn’t I?” dance that we all do when looking in the mirror at the stringy mop on our heads is one of the most universal experiences of being a woman.
That Sounds Like A Good Philosophy
Cooking at home automatically makes whatever you made healthy, and you should feel good about that. Don’t even worry about counting it on your calorie tracking app because it basically has none.
It’s Like Being Constantly Hung Over
Having neck pains and lower back pains that cause that never-ending headache sometimes coupled with nausea is a good day once you reach your 30s, so enjoy your late 20s while you have them.
Instagram Stories Are Only For Two Types Of People
This is a true thing about Instagram stories. I totally flip through the ones of people I actually like, and I try to find some dirt on the girl I was jealous of in first year or my ex.
Talking Is So Much Work
It’s honestly so exhausting to be in a group chat on the best of days. There are so many opinions and feelings that it just becomes too much. An occasional “haha” is the best you’re going to get from me.
The Ice Counts As Water, OK?
Since when does my body know what’s best for it? If I want an iced coffee and a muffin that secretly has a million calories, then that must be what I need.
We Don’t Need To Hear From You, Thanks
If I was meant to be with a man, then I would probably be meeting men that aren’t so intolerable that it makes me want to be celibate for the rest of my life.
It’s Like A Glimpse Into My Soul
If you want to know a lot about a person, you have to take a look at their Notes app on their phone. There are drunk ideas, passwords, unsent scathing texts to exes, and ideas you’ll never pursue.
And We’ll Still Keep Talking Anyway
The worst part about this is that I would keep dealing with that person for another nine months until they decided that they wanted to have a real relationship with someone else.
Working Out Is Too Much Of A Commitment
If you’re having a hard time getting into your yoga pants, then that’s pretty much a sign that you’re perfect and you don’t have to worry about doing that YouTube barre blend.
Unleash The Different Personalities
If I was meant to be the same person with straight hair as I am with curly hair, then my hair wouldn’t be different, it would just stay the same.
The Salad Really Should Have Worked
When you eat a salad before your meal, it basically means that that whole meal is healthy, and you should wake up fit and preferably blonde tomorrow, right? That’s how it works?
This Tells Us All We Need To Know
If you objectively look at a man’s side of the bed, you’re going to see that they really are disgusting creatures at the best of times, and we fall in love with them despite it.
It Depends How Clean My Hair Is
The low ponytail is always a great risk. You don’t know if you’re going to look cute and sophisticated or if you’re going to look like you should be in the bathroom washing your face.
I Bought A Lot Of Jeans Under This Ruse
The day to night thing is offensive to me because it assumes that I would have the energy or the desire to go out after work and stay out until it’s late out. No way.
The Unwritten Rule Of Mascara
I’ve never met a woman who doesn’t have to open their mouth and eyes almost as wide as they can go to put your mascara on properly. It might not be biologically possible to do it otherwise.
I Said, Flipping Through My Cosmo
Carrie Underwood had me thinking that I was going to be one of those girls who could hang with the guys, but I am the woman who drinks the fruity little drinks.