Tweets That Made Us Whisper A Little ‘Oof…Same’

Twitter remains one of the greatest social platforms of all time. We all long for Twitter fame while we scroll through our feed and reading all the people who perfectly captured our feelings in words that we only could have dreamed of finding. It really is the most relatable place on the internet. Truly.

Flirting Is Tough To Do At The Best Of Times

Tweet: I asked this dude if he needed
Photo Credit: Twitter / @venmo4feet
Photo Credit: Twitter / @venmo4feet

I would leave this interaction very unsure of how to act. Was he just stupid and didn’t get my advances, or is he saying, “No, I would sooner die than see you in the shower”?

Honestly, Only On The Good Days

Tweet: Could a depressed person do this? she says at 12:15am as she folds her laundry that came out of the dryer six days ago
Photo Credit: Twitter / @spicy_emma
Photo Credit: Twitter / @spicy_emma

Since when has it become a rule that you have to put the laundry away on the same day that you do it? You already put so much effort into putting it into the machine and then into the dryer, that’s enough for one day.

We Like What We Like

Tweet: My aesthetic is paying $16 for a rum and coke and dancing to a DJ set reminiscent of a Hollister store in 2009
Photo Credit: Twitter / @kelsey_content
Photo Credit: Twitter / @kelsey_content

Those Hollister store remixes were insane, and they truly did rival the clubs. It was like a gateway for people who wanted to be a famous DJ. If you can make it at Hollister, you can make it anywhere.

Time Is All Relative Anyway

Tweet: A tragedy: when your hair-wash cycle doesn't coordinate with an event and you overestimate the amount of time in which your hair can last without being washed
Photo Credit: Twitter / @leahbullock_8
Photo Credit: Twitter / @leahbullock_8

The “should I wash my hair or shouldn’t I?” dance that we all do when looking in the mirror at the stringy mop on our heads is one of the most universal experiences of being a woman.

That Sounds Like A Good Philosophy

Tweet: If I cooked something then it is healthy! Doesn't matter what's in it!!
Photo Credit: Twitter / @RachelWeintsky
Photo Credit: Twitter / @RachelWeintsky

Cooking at home automatically makes whatever you made healthy, and you should feel good about that. Don’t even worry about counting it on your calorie tracking app because it basically has none.

It’s Like Being Constantly Hung Over

Tweet: Once you pass 27 every day becomes a game of
Photo Credit: Twitter / @emily_murnane
Photo Credit: Twitter / @emily_murnane

Having neck pains and lower back pains that cause that never-ending headache sometimes coupled with nausea is a good day once you reach your 30s, so enjoy your late 20s while you have them.

Instagram Stories Are Only For Two Types Of People

Tweet: The only way to truly enjoy someone's Instagram story is it you're completely in love with or you want them dead. Everything in between it's like....what is going on here?
Photo Credit: Twitter / @freshhel
Photo Credit: Twitter / @freshhel

This is a true thing about Instagram stories. I totally flip through the ones of people I actually like, and I try to find some dirt on the girl I was jealous of in first year or my ex.

Talking Is So Much Work

Tweet: Hey it's me, your friend who ignores everything going on in the group text and then chimes in every six days with a single
Photo Credit: Twitter / @AshleyFetters
Photo Credit: Twitter / @AshleyFetters

It’s honestly so exhausting to be in a group chat on the best of days. There are so many opinions and feelings that it just becomes too much. An occasional “haha” is the best you’re going to get from me.

The Ice Counts As Water, OK?

Tweet: My body: Water please, I need it. Me: You-you want iced coffee?
Photo Credit: Twitter / @lainekchapman
Photo Credit: Twitter / @lainekchapman

Since when does my body know what’s best for it? If I want an iced coffee and a muffin that secretly has a million calories, then that must be what I need.

We Don’t Need To Hear From You, Thanks

Tweet: I wish there were a specific ring you could wear that meant
Photo Credit: Twitter / @meganamram
Photo Credit: Twitter / @meganamram

If I was meant to be with a man, then I would probably be meeting men that aren’t so intolerable that it makes me want to be celibate for the rest of my life.

It’s Like A Glimpse Into My Soul

Tweet: My notes app be like: Grocery list, future baby names, password for Netflix, a poem about depression, FAFSA ID, random sushi order
Photo Credit: Twitter / @collard_greens
Photo Credit: Twitter / @collard_greens

If you want to know a lot about a person, you have to take a look at their Notes app on their phone. There are drunk ideas, passwords, unsent scathing texts to exes, and ideas you’ll never pursue.

And We’ll Still Keep Talking Anyway

Tweet: I'm just a hot girl, standing in front of a poorly dressed, objectively unattractive guy, telling him it's fine if he doesn't want a relationship, but could he maybe text me more consistently? he says no.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @danadonly
Photo Credit: Twitter / @danadonly

The worst part about this is that I would keep dealing with that person for another nine months until they decided that they wanted to have a real relationship with someone else.

Working Out Is Too Much Of A Commitment

Tweet: I was preparing to work out for the first time in a month and pulled a muscle trying to squeeze into my yoga pants. So that's that.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @akilahgreen
Photo Credit: Twitter / @akilahgreen

If you’re having a hard time getting into your yoga pants, then that’s pretty much a sign that you’re perfect and you don’t have to worry about doing that YouTube barre blend.

Unleash The Different Personalities

Tweet: My with my hair straightened and me with my natural hair are two different people
Photo Credit: Twitter / @dianamc7711
Photo Credit: Twitter / @dianamc7711

If I was meant to be the same person with straight hair as I am with curly hair, then my hair wouldn’t be different, it would just stay the same.

The Salad Really Should Have Worked

Tweet: Everyday I wake up shocked that I haven't lost 15 pounds overnight from the side salad I ate with my pasta dinner
Photo Credit: Twitter / @AndreaRussett
Photo Credit: Twitter / @AndreaRussett

When you eat a salad before your meal, it basically means that that whole meal is healthy, and you should wake up fit and preferably blonde tomorrow, right? That’s how it works?

This Tells Us All We Need To Know

Tweet: My side of the bed vs my bfs side of the bed (pictured is a bedside table with a plant and a nice picture and a book and the other side of the bed which has an empty Gatorade bottle and a baseball bat)
Photo Credit: Twitter / @hannystyles69
Photo Credit: Twitter / @hannystyles69

If you objectively look at a man’s side of the bed, you’re going to see that they really are disgusting creatures at the best of times, and we fall in love with them despite it.

It Depends How Clean My Hair Is

Tweet: Sometimes my low pony looks cute but sometimes I look like a young man in colonial America eager to start his woodworking apprenticeship
Photo Credit: Twitter / @cricketcg
Photo Credit: Twitter / @cricketcg

The low ponytail is always a great risk. You don’t know if you’re going to look cute and sophisticated or if you’re going to look like you should be in the bathroom washing your face.

I Bought A Lot Of Jeans Under This Ruse

Tweet: Women's magazines really convinced me that going from day to night was going to be a big part of my adult life, but so far it has come up
Photo Credit: Twitter / @margeincharge
Photo Credit: Twitter / @margeincharge

The day to night thing is offensive to me because it assumes that I would have the energy or the desire to go out after work and stay out until it’s late out. No way.

The Unwritten Rule Of Mascara

Tweet: How to apply mascara: Pull wand from tube, open your eyes like a haunted doll coming to life
Photo Credit: Twitter / @abbycohenwl
Photo Credit: Twitter / @abbycohenwl

I’ve never met a woman who doesn’t have to open their mouth and eyes almost as wide as they can go to put your mascara on properly. It might not be biologically possible to do it otherwise.

I Said, Flipping Through My Cosmo

Tweet: Carrie Underwood: He's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey. Eight year old me: wow how embarrassing
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Moopes17
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Moopes17

Carrie Underwood had me thinking that I was going to be one of those girls who could hang with the guys, but I am the woman who drinks the fruity little drinks.