Tweets That Just Scream: “Ugh, MEN.”
Have you ever walked into a man's apartment and instantly thought: how do you live like this? While gender doesn't define our personalities, a lot of men seem to show traits that the women around them just cannot understand.
From their inability to understand a long-winded text to the fact they won't let their boys know that they love to be cuddled by their girl, here are tweets that will have you rolling your eyes and sighing.
What Do You Mean By "What Do You Mean?"
Even worse, you'll send your whole argument to a man in about three long texts and they'll address the last one saying it doesn't make sense as if you didn't put all the necessary context in the first two messages.
Drop Your Mixtape And We'll Talk
Why am I coming over to fight for a spot on the couch while there's no room for me to put down my glass of water because the coffee table is covered in empty beer cans? It's my place or nothing.
I Hate To Break It To You, But Not All Of Your Boys Are Legends
Whenever you ask what the legend is, the answer is always some dumb story about how Garrett drank a lot of beers and peed in his closet instead of the bathroom.
Being Louder Doesn't Make You Right
When I was in the eighth grade, I sat next to a guy who I had a crush on and he used to hear me say jokes and just yelled them louder so everyone thought he was funny.
Sir, Have You Never Used A Knife Before?
Some men live so lawlessly that I genuinely wonder they have survived so long on their own. I knew a man who couldn't tell the difference between cabbage and lettuce and put a full cabbage leaf on a burger.
Okay, But You (Hopefully) Haven't Been In An Oil Spill
Men might do a couple of ridiculous things because they don't know any better, but what really gets me are the reasons they come up with to justify their borderline concerning habits.
Men Do Not Understand How Venting Works For Us
This is a PSA to all men: when we come to vent to you about a problem, we generally already know how to fix it—we just need someone to validate how upset we are. Just listen and nod.
The White Claw To Food Ratio Is Concerning
Every time I look into the fridge at a house only inhabited by men, I wonder how these men are staying alive and walking upright having only consumed Coors Light, chocolate milk, Red Bull, and shredded cheese.
Did This Man Just Sit In Warm Cookie Water?
This man probably just sat down in this bathtub with a half-dissolved stale cookie for 30 minutes and decided that he was clean. He likely lived a full day covered in cookie residue.
Hangry < Deep Psychological Issues You've Never Addressed
Okay, maybe I'm grumpy and way more argumentative when I'm craving chicken nuggets, but Tyler, you don't know how to respect a romantic partner because you resent your mom for divorcing your dad.
Y'All Tough In The Streets, Babies In The Sheets
Men will act like they're indifferent to you in front of their boys and on social media, but in private they're putting their heads on their girls' laps asking for head scratches.
If One More Man Tries To Make Me Watch Inception With Him...
Does it matter that I have already seen the movie before and also worked as a film critic for my university's newspaper? No, he still will tell me when all of the "good parts" are coming up.
Bruh, Why Are You Dating If You Aren't Ready To Date?
A man will pursue you so you'll go on 50 dates with him and be exclusively together for six straight months before he drops the "yeah, I just don't think I'm in the right headspace for a relationship right now."
Our Standards Are On The Floor
Men can do below the bare minimum and I'll still say something like, "Wow, he rolled his sleeves up so that the cuffs on both sides are the same size!"
Thanks For Arguably Making Things Worse!
One time I was hanging out with a guy while doing chores, so he decided to help me fold my clean laundry. While it was a cute gesture, I had to refold all of them after he left.
Not A Priority But Still An Inevitable Action
Men will literally cheat on you with your best friend on top of the silk sheets you bought for your shared bed and still have the audacity to say: "It was never my intention to hurt you."
I Know You Don't Care About My Real Interests
Men will ask you about your interests waiting for you to say something they like so they can talk about something "you both love". Honestly, I'm just tired of talking about Frank Ocean.
Sometimes Sharing Is Not Caring
Sometimes telling the truth can set you free. However, some truths should stay buried inside your own mind and not be shared with the women around you. We do not need to know everything.
Then Again, We Gotta Appreciate Men For What They Do
For all the trash I talk about men, I'll admit that I just need to see a man with nice forearms or a guy walking a puppy and suddenly I'm all *heart eyes* again.
...And In Their Defense, We're A Bit Messed Up Too
For every time I roast a man, I know he could also roast my crazy brain, the overwhelming number of candles in my apartment, or the fact I've been driving with the check engine light on for six months.
