It’s really easy to have a love-hate relationship with being single. Sometimes it’s honestly the best thing ever, and other times you wish you had someone to open the jar of pickles for you.
At those especially low moments, it’s nice to know that there are other people in the world who are feeling the way that you do. Basically, what I’m saying is, thank goodness for Twitter.
Dogs Are Better Than Men
I can’t believe there is a person out there in the world who saw someone with a dog and had a conversation with the person instead of the dog…that blows my mind.
Sometimes You Have To Make The Same Mistake
Dating apps are honestly the worst, but how else are we supposed to go about meeting people? Talking to strangers? No. Approaching someone in public? Forget about it. We ain’t about that life.
It’s All Hanging On Those Three Dots
One of the most exhausting things about dating is trying to be normal and talking like a person who doesn’t have years of trauma that’s just bubbling just beneath the surface waiting to get out.
I’ll Never Stop Listening
Do some of my favorite songs hit different since dating certain people? Yes. Will I ever stop listening to them even though they make me cry on my bus ride to work? Never.
Pants Are The Devil
If anything I have to do involves me putting pants on and being a functional human being, then I don’t want to do it. I don’t care if it means missing out on my dream man.
Post It On Instagram
The little things do get hard sometimes, like not having someone to show the cool things like perfect avocados to. But you can post it on social media for more people who don’t care to see.
If It’s Meant To Be, It Will Be
Sometimes, the best thing that you can do is to sit back and let the universe do its work, and just make the right things happen to you. That’s how it works, right?
Talk About A Magical Night
There is the great feeling that comes from being single and knowing that if your period is late, it’s probably from other annoying things like being stressed or not taking good care of yourself.
It’s A Tough Life
When it comes down to it, what else is there to do than date until someone likes you back? What? I’m supposed to be a complete and functioning human being on my own? Please.
I Don’t Want To Leave
It feels like the older that you get, the more you self-select down to a smaller pool of men, and that’s totally OK because you’re weeding out the bad ones…that also means that you’re probably going to be left with just the Uber Eats guy.
There Might Be More Trash
For every fish, there have to be at least one hundred pieces of trash, because if I’m really honest with myself, I don’t even know if that many people I know are dating someone they deserve.
That Reflecting Into The Void, Though
I don’t know about you, but I find that when I’m in a relationship, I kind of miss some of the nights I spent staring off into space considering my own mortality.
It’s A Numbers Game
Starting to date a new person is like being pregnant. You should wait at least three months to tell anyone about it. Of course, being pregnant is much more serious, and now I’m second-guessing this joke.
The Struggle Is Real
Look, having only struggles is better than being in a bad relationship where you have cuddles AND struggles. It’s exhausting to try and be in the proper frame of mind for both.
Ladies, Write These Down
It’s time we take back our power when we explain why we are single, not that we should have to. You’re a beautiful, mythical creature, and you deserve to be seen as one.
Just Punch Me In The Face Next Time
When I think back on some of my past relationships, I really do feel like being punched right in the face would have been a little less painful than whatever that waste of time was.
Make It Happen For Us
Why can you only buy things in huge portions? How much broccoli do you think one person can eat in their life? I refuse to buy Microwave Meals for One, so help me out here!
Yeah, It’s A Scary Thought
When an ex hits you up and is trying to get back into your life, let’s stop entertaining them and worrying about their feelings. It sucked, you sucked, time for you to be left on read.
What More Could You Ask For?
There is this moment, sometimes, when you catch yourself sitting around at home and you realize you have nothing to do and that feels nice, and then it feels really sad.
What A Thing To Consider
It seems impossible these days to think that it’s easy to find someone to be happy with. Like, does that even happen anymore? I’m not so convinced that it does.