Tweets About Being Single That Are Honestly A Vibe

It’s really easy to have a love-hate relationship with being single. Sometimes it’s honestly the best thing ever, and other times you wish you had someone to open the jar of pickles for you.

At those especially low moments, it’s nice to know that there are other people in the world who are feeling the way that you do. Basically, what I’m saying is, thank goodness for Twitter.

Dogs Are Better Than Men

Tweet: Someone asked me if I'm ever scared that I'll be alone forever, which I thought was so rude because my dog was RIGHT THERE
Photo Credit: Twitter / @pinupteacher
Photo Credit: Twitter / @pinupteacher

I can’t believe there is a person out there in the world who saw someone with a dog and had a conversation with the person instead of the dog…that blows my mind.

Sometimes You Have To Make The Same Mistake

Tweet: No greater shame than redownloading a dating app...it's like yes, I would like to be disrespected by a stranger
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ziwe
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ziwe

Dating apps are honestly the worst, but how else are we supposed to go about meeting people? Talking to strangers? No. Approaching someone in public? Forget about it. We ain’t about that life.

It’s All Hanging On Those Three Dots

someone making a joke about how one text or call could ruin it all
Photo Credit: Twitter / @1followernodad
Photo Credit: Twitter / @1followernodad

One of the most exhausting things about dating is trying to be normal and talking like a person who doesn’t have years of trauma that’s just bubbling just beneath the surface waiting to get out.

I’ll Never Stop Listening

Tweet: The ghosts of your failed relationships are speaking to you through itunes shuffle
Photo Credit: Twitter / @charstarlene
Photo Credit: Twitter / @charstarlene

Do some of my favorite songs hit different since dating certain people? Yes. Will I ever stop listening to them even though they make me cry on my bus ride to work? Never.

Pants Are The Devil

someone who doesn't want to try dating because it would mean putting pants on
Photo Credit: Twitter / @bobvulfov
Photo Credit: Twitter / @bobvulfov

If anything I have to do involves me putting pants on and being a functional human being, then I don’t want to do it. I don’t care if it means missing out on my dream man.

Post It On Instagram

Tweet: being single is cool until you open a perfect avocado at breakfast and you have no one to show it to
Photo Credit: Twitter / @halsey
Photo Credit: Twitter / @halsey

The little things do get hard sometimes, like not having someone to show the cool things like perfect avocados to. But you can post it on social media for more people who don’t care to see.

If It’s Meant To Be, It Will Be

Tweet: I workout the same way I date on bumble...I literally do nothing and pray for results.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Jessiejolles
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Jessiejolles

Sometimes, the best thing that you can do is to sit back and let the universe do its work, and just make the right things happen to you. That’s how it works, right?

Talk About A Magical Night

Tweet: Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant
Photo Credit: Twitter / @MaryKoCo
Photo Credit: Twitter / @MaryKoCo

There is the great feeling that comes from being single and knowing that if your period is late, it’s probably from other annoying things like being stressed or not taking good care of yourself.

It’s A Tough Life

Tweet: Can't believe I just have to keep dating until someone likes me back or I die
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Brandy_Jensen
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Brandy_Jensen

When it comes down to it, what else is there to do than date until someone likes you back? What? I’m supposed to be a complete and functioning human being on my own? Please.

I Don’t Want To Leave

Tweet: Single at 23: I have to go out and meet someone! Single at 29: If it's meant to be the right person will find me in my home
Photo Credit: Twitter / @AllisonRaskin
Photo Credit: Twitter / @AllisonRaskin

It feels like the older that you get, the more you self-select down to a smaller pool of men, and that’s totally OK because you’re weeding out the bad ones…that also means that you’re probably going to be left with just the Uber Eats guy.

There Might Be More Trash

Tweet: There's plenty of fish in the sea but you know what else there is? Trash. There is a lot of trash in the sea.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @emmabetsinger
Photo Credit: Twitter / @emmabetsinger

For every fish, there have to be at least one hundred pieces of trash, because if I’m really honest with myself, I don’t even know if that many people I know are dating someone they deserve.

That Reflecting Into The Void, Though

Tweet: Being single is the best. So much time to do what you want. Think and reflect. Stare into the void and try to remember what touch felt like.
Photo Credit: Twitter / @SamGrittner
Photo Credit: Twitter / @SamGrittner

I don’t know about you, but I find that when I’m in a relationship, I kind of miss some of the nights I spent staring off into space considering my own mortality.

It’s A Numbers Game

a tweet about meeting someone and then having to tell your friends it didn't work out like a week alter
Photo Credit: Twitter / @angiefiggy
Photo Credit: Twitter / @angiefiggy

Starting to date a new person is like being pregnant. You should wait at least three months to tell anyone about it. Of course, being pregnant is much more serious, and now I’m second-guessing this joke.

The Struggle Is Real

Tweet: Want: Cuddles Receives: Struggles
Photo Credit: Twitter / @postmalonewifey
Photo Credit: Twitter / @postmalonewifey

Look, having only struggles is better than being in a bad relationship where you have cuddles AND struggles. It’s exhausting to try and be in the proper frame of mind for both.

Ladies, Write These Down

Tweet about telling people that many have tried to date you and failed is better than explain why you're single
Photo Credit: Twitter / @SketchesbyBoze
Photo Credit: Twitter / @SketchesbyBoze

It’s time we take back our power when we explain why we are single, not that we should have to. You’re a beautiful, mythical creature, and you deserve to be seen as one.

Just Punch Me In The Face Next Time

Tweet: Yeah I date... D:doing A:all I can T: To avoid catching feelings E: ever again
Photo Credit: Twitter / @punsfornuns
Photo Credit: Twitter / @punsfornuns

When I think back on some of my past relationships, I really do feel like being punched right in the face would have been a little less painful than whatever that waste of time was.

Make It Happen For Us

Tweet: Who are we? Single young professionals. What do we want? For perishable groceries to be sold in smaller portion sizes
Photo Credit: Twitter / @swaggie_hunter
Photo Credit: Twitter / @swaggie_hunter

Why can you only buy things in huge portions? How much broccoli do you think one person can eat in their life? I refuse to buy Microwave Meals for One, so help me out here!

Yeah, It’s A Scary Thought

someone joking that their past relationship was like a horror film
Photo Credit: Twitter / @gohomemelina
Photo Credit: Twitter / @gohomemelina

When an ex hits you up and is trying to get back into your life, let’s stop entertaining them and worrying about their feelings. It sucked, you sucked, time for you to be left on read.

What More Could You Ask For?

Tweet: Being single is like...it's just you and your bottle of water
Photo Credit: Twitter / @sailormarspimp
Photo Credit: Twitter / @sailormarspimp

There is this moment, sometimes, when you catch yourself sitting around at home and you realize you have nothing to do and that feels nice, and then it feels really sad.

What A Thing To Consider

Tweet: Imagine you fall in love with someone and they love you back. LOL
Photo Credit: Twitter / @thatsdatingnow
Photo Credit: Twitter / @thatsdatingnow

It seems impossible these days to think that it’s easy to find someone to be happy with. Like, does that even happen anymore? I’m not so convinced that it does.