If someone tells you that there is plenty of fish in the sea, they are probably in a happy relationship and haven’t been subjected to the horrors that can be found online dating.
There may be a lot of fish left in the sea, but that doesn’t mean that the ones left behind are any good. The thing is, there is also a lot of trash in the sea and it’s a real problem for the environment and the dating pool.
He’s That Worried About Commitment
He can’t even set aside the time to enjoy and a well-curated plate of meats and cheeses with someone. What does this guy really want then, if not snacks and wine?
What A Rookie Mistake
If you’re going to be a snake and talk to a bunch of people at once, you could at least try and be sneaky about it. Come on, how did you not know this was going to happen?
Sir, You Look Like A Thumb
We all have better things to do than waste our time with Tinder profiles like this. People are going to swipe because you have a bad attitude, and you look like a Disney channel villain.
There Is A Lot Of Information To Take In Here
Sure, on the surface this guy looks like he might be a lot of fun, but he made a website with a bunch of scary, politically charged questions on it. I’ll keep moving.
Is He Sure He Didn’t Want This To Happen?
Maybe he’s realized that he’s never going to have any luck as an average looking man so he might as well hit up the dating scene as an average looking girl.
What A True Gentleman
You gotta love it when someone comes into your life who is truly just one of a kind. How lucky is this guy to have those sorts of sweet nothings whispered to him via text?
Is He Being Seen Or Roasted?
On one hand, dating someone who is going to be that kind of honest with you is a good thing, but on the other hand, that’s the kind of life advice you give someone after you know them, not before you’ve met.
Well, That’s Just Rude
You don’t ask a person their age! Or worse yet, try and tell them what age they actually are. Either you’ll be wrong, or they won’t want to date someone who is on to them.
He Is Nothing If Not Passionate
Do you know what every girl wants? A man who will make little boys cry while they’re trying to have a good time at summer camp. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t turned on.
Is That An OK Place To Eat Pizza?
It really isn’t. It’s kind of not sanitary and it’s weird that someone came in there and took a picture of her doing it only to have her feel like it should be her Bumble profile.
No, But A Catfish Might
That seems like the kind of response that a bot would give because it’s a little bit ridiculous. Just ridiculous enough that it might be outside the realm of possibility that a real human sent it.
This Would Keep Anyone Up At Night
What does this mean? And I’m not one to kink shame someone, but come on…would this be a turn on to you? It’s almost as sad as being on Tinder for two whole years.
That Is One Judgemental Crow
Ok, you can’t just call someone and their bloodline out like that while you’re texting them. There is probably a whole story there that you don’t even know. Not liking pizza is a pretty serious deal-breaker, though.
He’s probably hoping that people are going to see his profile and feel so sad about the spilled coffee that they’ll offer to buy him a new one. That’s what this is really about.
What’s Wrong With Hanging Out With Mom?
They make such a cute little PB&J sandwich. Plus, let’s be real here. He won’t stop bringing his mom to parties with him, she’ll just be coming with the two of you.
Gotta Love Someone Who Is Self Aware
She probably posted this on her profile to put it out in the universe that she’s seen the memes and she doesn’t want to hear about her taste in decor.
What Is There Even To Say About This
Do you know how to know that this is a fake profile, aside from all of it? The fact that he won’t shut up about Microsoft Excel. No one likes it.
That’s Nice Of Him, I Guess
So, let’s get this straight. He’s going to find May a new man on Tinder and then what? Bring him to introduce the two at the same time he breaks up with her?
Ha Ha…Very Funny
A man with a sense of humor is something we can all get behind…or on top of, but this seems like he might be making comments about the average boob size, and we can’t all have melons.
Can’t Tell If This Is Hilarious Or Creepy
Truthfully, it could be both? And let’s be real. There are totally going to be people who match with her because her grandpa seems like he’s a fun time, so there is that.