Things Millennials Have Destroyed With Little To No Remorse
Don't come at us for trying to avoid more debt than the enormous amount we acquired in school—we're trying to make decisions that might not destroy our economy or leave us, what's the word? Screwed?
Heaven Forbid
Could it be because we don't see the demeaning commercials because (spoiler alert) we ruined TV? Is it because we wanted to give independent breweries a chance? Or is it because it never tasted good to begin with?
Down With The Patriarchy, Am I Right?
What a clever way to make fun of us. HAHA, look at all these young people lined up to vote. It's like they're in line for one of their favorite healthy alternative to eating cheeseburgers.
Can't Say We Didn't See This One Coming
Sorry that we don't find it comfortable to order our chicken wings around women who are being exploited for their bodies. It just doesn't mix well, you know? And we take feminism seriously...and our wings.
Sorry We Don't Like Plastic
OK, to be honest, millennials love cheese, it's like all we talk about sometimes. But, American cheese aka the plastic cheese in the wrappers is not really cheese. Sorry not sorry, it's going to be gone someday.
This Should Be Good News
See? Not all the things we get rid of are bad. Unlike most of our parents, we actually take time to get to know someone before we tie the knot. Maybe millennials getting married later in life has something to do with it?
Four Day Work Week! Four Day Work Week!
The world isn't the way that it used to be. We don't find one job and work at it for the next 30 years of our lives. An evolving world means evolving rules, right? Who wouldn't want a three-day weekend?
Sorry We Have Boundaries
Look, this one is pretty wild, and I don't know what else to say than we believe in therapy and think that it could probably work for everyone if they would try.
"Extinct" Seems Dramatic
This could be because we've decided to educate ourselves on the economy and the fact the world is overpopulated, or maybe it's because children are super expensive and we can't even afford not to rent.
Who Needs It, Anyway?
How do you track this kind of data? Maybe this is the same kind of thing as the cheese. We are just looking for better life decisions in every sense, including our condiments.
We Lack A Little Thing Called Money
Do you know what it's like to apply for jobs that require you to have a master's degree but only pay $15 an hour? It feels like we are gonna have to give up on wanting things we don't need, like diamonds.
Imagine Admitting You're Too Tired
Lots of us work a lot, OK? And we don't necessarily have the energy to get down and dirty. It could be that and that we've also found meaningful ways to express our feelings.
What's A Vacation?
It could be the fact that we don't get paid enough to go on vacations, or it could be the fact that we don't really have any vacation days to use, but either way, it was an accident!
Only When We're Hungry
We just don't need the excess that people used to think we needed. Plus, we like to focus on our health, and eating well means only eating when you need to.
Sorry Not Sorry?
What a crazy thing to blame us for. Like, sorry we think we should take better care of the environment and wash our hands after we eat? What do you want from us?
Now Everyone Is A Winner
Millennials are competitive, but not in the traditional sense. We would rather get all of our friends together and take a class than try to win a race against them.
You're Welcome
See? We aren't all bad! Getting rid of DUIs because we have Lyfts and Ubers hardly seems like something that's bad. If you give us a chance, we will show you we're not as bad as we seem.
Yeah, Because Netflix
People still like going to the movies, OK? But, if going to the movies means that I don't have to leave my house and can watch things in sweat pants, I'm gonna do it that way.
Touché
Print media will always have a special place in our hearts, and lots of people still love to read actual books. But all our gossip and important news? We can find that on our news feeds.
It Isn't Over Yet
Sooner or later, we millennials will come for all of it, either by choice or because a bunch of boomers and newspapers decided we do. We're ready! And you should be, too. MUHAHA!
