When your close friends and family all have significant others, influencers post about their perfect boyfriends, and romantic comedies make you feel some kind of way, it’s easy to feel like you’re missing out on something by being single.
It’s easy to romanticize the idea of dating when you’re not actively doing it, so here are screenshots of actual texts men have sent women that will remind you that you’re better off alone.
“On Another Note…”
She’s really out here just asking for him to give her the bare minimum and all he can muster is a little “sorry” before telling her she’s going to need to make a trip to the clinic. Pain.
Apparently, She Matched With Shakespeare On Tinder
If I was talking to a guy and he wrote out a message using the words “thine,” “fortnight,” or “fathom” in a request for nude pictures, I would simply become a nun.
Everyone Has Heard Of A Dental Hygienist
It’s not like a “dental hygienist” is a super niche or new profession that people might not have heard of before. Just about everyone has been to the dentist at some point.
That Doesn’t Count As An Honest Mistake
An honest mistake is when you accidentally call the wrong contact named “Erica” in your phone, not when you actively choose to cheat on your girlfriend by going on a date with another woman.
Not only is this a psychotic question to ask someone you’ve just met, but I’m so scared by what he means by “trying different things.” How is this man pooping?
Wow, Someone Give Him A Gold Star
Women around the world are so lucky to have male feminists like this super enlightened guy helping them combat gender inequality by being a thirsty loser. We could not live without him.
This Is Such A Mean Thing To Say
Not only do I have no idea what this woman looks like based on that description, but that’s definitely not the kind of thing you should say as an opening message.
I Want To Burn My Eyes Out
This woman is the most patient person I have met, because if a man I’d matched with on Bumble sent me the first message alone, I would have unmatched him on the spot.
That’s Super Unnecessary
This woman was just living her life and enjoying a colorful fruity drink and this guy thought it was his duty to tell her, unprovoked, how many calories there might be in the drink.
This Is The Most Ridiculous Thing I’ve Ever Read
Reading the first message in this text duo made me want to claw my own eyes out. The second message still somehow managed to be worse when he brought up his “condom size” for no clear reason and then calling it “pouring his heart out.”
Take A Hint, Buddy
This is a public service announcement to all men that, if a woman blocks your number, she does not want you to find her email and contact her that way.
What Is Going On??
I understand that coming up with a unique or interesting first message to send someone on an app isn’t an easy task, but this is definitely not the creative route to take.
Felt Really Passionate About That
This guy was so insistent on making his opinion (which nobody asked for) known that he sent the same message twice, so I would like to tell him that he’d sound better if he shut up.
He Really Thought He Won With This One
I would like to make it clear that threatening to hurt yourself to elicit a response from someone is toxic and manipulative, and the response you get should not be counted as a win.
Keep The Beatles Out Of This
The Beatles didn’t become the most globally popular band of their time and earn an iconic spot in music history only to have their song referenced by some gross dude like this.
Buddy, Go Get Psychological Help
If you’re fresh out of a breakup and don’t know how to feel about things, the last thing you should be doing is swiping and matching with girls on Tinder and unloading your emotional problems on them.
Why Would You Ever Say This?
In what world could someone believe that this is an acceptable thing to say to someone who they have only seen a handful of photos and a one-sentence description of?
Okay, Cute Story, But Why Are You Saying This?
This guy really jumped into the messages and said, “I’m not like other guys; I’m special and different and better looking than all of them because I think girls hit on me one time.”
No One Cares
First of all, The Smiths are an incredibly popular band that most people have heard of. Second of all, listening to a certain band is not a personality trait, but being pretentious about it is.
This Is Not A Second-String Situation
I cannot imagine the audacity of deciding you not wanting to date someone and thinking that it’s totally fine to “pass her off” to your roommate just because he’s single.