When your ex texts you, you get that weird feeling in your stomach that makes you feel like you might barf. It’s partially excitement and validation, but it’s also a lot of dread because you don’t want to hear from that person again. You broke up for a reason! There are some people in the world who know just how to handle a pesky ex and what to say when they send that unwanted text.
At Least They Both Know Now
There is something validating about that moment when your ex finally realizes that they don’t deserve you and know you’re both aware of it. Like, it’s about time that they caught up.
I’m Sorry, What?
Your phone died for two months and that’s why they never messaged you back? Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night, right? Like, guy, come on…get it together.
He’s Being Honest For Once
That’s exactly the kind of message that someone gets and then decides to leave the person on read. He probably thought that he was being so smooth. Guess again, butthole!
The Memories That Make Up My Nightmares
It’s strange when you both look back on your relationship and you see that you both look at it so differently now. One of you pines for what was, and the other would never go there again.
Don’t Do It!
This is a sure way to get sucked back into the absolute tornado that is having your ex in your life. The man can afford his own Netflix, and if he can’t, then he has bigger problems.
That Is Absolutely Filthy
I’m sorry, but no matter how much you love kids, you have to admit that they are kind of gross and there is no getting around that. A kid sneezing on you? I don’t think so.
Asking The Tough Questions
It’s nice to know that he just got out of prison and the first thing he is doing is hitting up his ex like she’s even spent one minute thinking about him.
She Should Start Charging Him
Why the sass? She obviously didn’t want to talk to him, so he should have just left it instead of hitting her up with that stupid little emoji. Know what I mean?
That’s Not What I Would Have Bought, But Bravo
If a man is going to offer up his credit card info so that he can win over a woman who isn’t interested, then he deserves whatever unnecessary charges she sees fit.
He Probably Didn’t Stop
Let’s hope that this guy is respectful of the fact that she’s in a new relationship and doesn’t want anything to do with him, although they rarely ever do respect it.
He Knows It, Too
I love how he doesn’t even dispute the fact that he is the devil, that part he has no problem with. The texts not sending is what he thinks is strange.
And There It Is
Why would you text after calling to tell me that you called? Don’t you think I can see my phone and see the notification? I know how to use the thing.
That Is Very To The Point
While I will always support a hot dog being chopped up being sent to an ex, he does have a bit of a point. There’s no need to be so hostile, just block the man.
Glad We’ve Cleared The Air
It’s really nice when you can get everything out in the open and make sure that you’re both on the same page, isn’t it? Closure rarely happens, but when it does, it’s a beautiful thing.
You Know He Lurks It, Too
You know for a fact that he’s on that Instagram lurking her pictures, so she’s right. That will be the next time he sees her, because she’s not making time for him anymore.
How Very Thoughtful And Sweet
Don’t you just love those messages you get from someone where they saw something that reminded them of you and they just had to send it to you? He says it isn’t romantic, but it is.
This Is Just Rude
How long has he been letting this bother him that he needs to just text her out of the blue like that? What difference does it make to him how she sees?!
This is the sad truth of it. You had better learn how to live without them real quick otherwise you’re going to be in some trouble, my friend. All the best of luck to you.
Hit With Those Ariana Lyrics
When you have nothing left to say, just hit him with some lyrics to everyone’s favorite breakup song. He might not know it, but he’ll get what you’re trying to say.
No Need To Reschedule
Sometimes you just have to let them know how it is. You’re busy every day that they are free until the end of time because there is nothing you want to do less than see them.