You may love to read advice columns in magazines or spend an hour before bed every night reading confessionals on The Cut, but that doesn’t mean that the advice you’re being given is always going to be good.
Just because someone prints something or puts a certain piece of advice on the internet does not mean that it’s actually good advice or advice that you should listen to. These magazine tips and articles are proof of that.
The Stars Don’t Lie
There may be hedge fund managers (!!) who say that astrology can make you richer, but that doesn’t mean that it’s the truth. Maybe those hedge fund managers can tell you what dog to buy that is compatible with your star sign…
Calling Him Incessantly Won’t Make Him Want To Talk To You
Calling someone to tell them that you’re going on a texting strike and you’re only going to talk to them over the phone is more than likely to end with you getting no texts or phone calls, but you do you.
You Didn’t Need To Bring Mickey And Minnie Into It
There are some things that you just don’t need to do, and one of those things includes bring Minnie and Mickey Mouse into your article about role-playing. If that’s what someone is into, chances are they didn’t need this magazine article with a demon Minnie Mouse mask to tell them.
Why Wouldn’t He Just Say “Get Weird”?
There’s a time and a place for you to get weird with someone, but unless you’re positive that this is what they mean by their comment or they straight-up say “Come on. Get weird with it,” you might want to play it safe.
Flirting With Finger Puppets
Why not send the selfies to both the girls and the guys, and save the “flirty” finger puppet drawings for someone else (or no one else). This can’t have been a tried and true method, someone just needed to write something.
Smelling Nice Means You Support The Patriarchy
All this time, you thought you were wearing deodorant because you’d rather not spend your days repelling people with your own body odor, but it turns out you were actually perpetuating the existence of the patriarchy. Who knew?
What’s The Logic Behind This?
I’m pretty sure we could find a lot more than eight reasons to disagree with the advice given in this article, as would any partner who found out their partner had cheated on them because an article told them it was okay.
It’s Really Not That Deep
What someone chooses to be on Halloween says something about them, but it doesn’t say this much about them. Use your “scary-good” flirting skills on whoever you want, even if they are dressed as a fireman.
Stab Him With A Fork
You’re definitely going to be remembered by your date if you choose to stab him with dinner fork, but it’s not the lasting impression you were hoping to leave on him—or on his skin.
Under “21 Reasons You Want To Be Single RN”
Everyone knows that after a breakup, you’re supposed to at least pretend that you’re not spending your evenings stalking your ex on Instagram. There are so many better reasons than this one to be single.
We’ve Jumped Past Conclusions To Full On Accusations
Another classic case of people jumping to conclusions over something a boy said to them. Him saying that he has to go to the bathroom should not be taken as him doing drugs, FYI.
Minty Fresh And Full Of Regrets
Rather than wasting your toothpaste and your time to create the world’s worst dinner mints, you could consider not providing any. They don’t look that cool, and your guests will care more about the toothpaste all over their teeth than their fresh breath.
When It Comes To Cheating, Don’t Hide It
This expert might be telling you that it’s okay to hide the fact that you cheated because it’ll ruin the trust between you, but you know what else ruins trust? Lying and secrets.
They Really Thought They Did Something Here
There’s a lot of definitive language happening in this text, but not a whole lot of facts or logic to back it up. Just because their friend Amy is an emotional trainwreck, it doesn’t mean that every woman will be.
You Could Just Be Nice
Sure, you’re probably going to make an impression on someone if you cut them in line, but it’s not going to be a good one. Not everything can be a romantic comedy. He’ll just be upset that you made him late for work.
It’s A Short Article
There really doesn’t need to be an entire article dedicated to how not to get drunk on a first date. It’s a one-step process, and it’s right there in the title: don’t get drunk. Problem solved!
Should You Be Paying Your Friends?
If you feel like the only reason your friends like you is because you pay for things, you need to find yourself some new friends. Contrary to what this says, you shouldn’t have to pay people to like you.
What A Waste Of Potatoes
Out of all of the ridiculous weight loss tricks and tips that magazines have tried to force on people over the years, this one definitely tops the list. What do you do with all the potato peels afterward?
It’s Not Endearing, It’s Problematic
Not everything that a man does secretly could mean he’s doing or thinking something else. If he’s judging you for your money habits, he’s probably not secretly thinking about your future life together.
If you’re going to write two articles with opposing views because you need to fill up some slots on the website, that’s forgivable, but at least make sure they aren’t posted directly next to each other.