When you’re dating someone, you’re getting to know them in a really intimate way. You get to know your partners in a way that a lot of other people don’t get to see. That’s intimacy and it’s a beautiful thing…most of the time. Sometimes it opens up doors to some people’s most annoying habits and weirdest behaviors.
Maybe She Didn’t Know Which One She Wanted
Maybe coming home and seeing that your wife took a bite out of every donut in the box might seem like a prank, but it’s a cruel one. Now who gets the donuts?
She Did What We All Would Have Done
Whenever you ask someone to put sunscreen on for you, you run the risk of ending up with something regrettable all over your back. At least everyone will know he’s taken now.
That’s A Little Passive-Aggressive
She decided that she was going to wait until he was sleeping to go and give him the finger and be mad about whatever she’s mad about. That doesn’t seem healthy, does it?
That Lipstick Is Ruined Now
When his girlfriend asked him to sharpen her lipstick and he busted out a butcher’s knife, he probably started the fight that was going to end their relationship. It’s over.
Can I Get A Refund?
A $9.99 boyfriend fee? That seems a little bit steep, don’t you think? I’m sure they could work something out so that they just are happy together or whatever. Wouldn’t that be enough?
He’s Got A Point
We all know that even if cats could learn how to wrestle or whatever, they wouldn’t protect us at all. Cats are adorable but they’re kind of selfish. I have four, I would know.
That’s Pretty Obvious, Isn’t It?
Something about a cake that says “you’ve aged” on it is really ominous and makes it seem kind of like aging is a bad thing even though it’s literally something that happens to everyone.
Such A Cute Picture OMG
You know what is so cute? When your boyfriend takes a cute little picture of you when you’re not paying attention. This picture doesn’t seem like that kind of picture, though.
She Looks Very Upset
He told her that it wasn’t a roller coaster like that, but guess what? It was a big scary roller coaster and you better believe that she’s going to never forgive him for this.
Very, Very Funny
He wanted to give his girlfriend some of the keys to his apartment, but he wanted to also keep her on her toes. So, as a joke, he wrote a bunch of names on it.
This Is So Not Funny
If you know that your partner is afraid of spiders, why would you ever torture her with something like this? Yeah, it’s a joke this time, but what if it isn’t next time?
She’ll Look Great In That
She was running late so she asked her husband to lay out an outfit for her to wear to work. This is probably on the right track, but there is something missing…
Never Buy A Label Maker
We always think that a label maker is something that we all need, but we would be wrong. Especially if we love someone who loves puns more than anything else.
Is That Comfortable?
If I came home and found that my partner was sleeping on the couch like this, I would think that something bad happened to them and would probably shake them screaming.
Does That Even Work?
Is using blinds as a shower curtain insane or is it genius? It’s wild how often great ideas walk that thin line. I’m not sure how I feel about this.
Is His Memory That Short?
Talking to someone like this would feel like you were talking to a brick wall. You know what? The brick wall might be a little bit easier to reason with.
He Really Tried To Make Sushi
He said that he was going to make her sushi, her favorite. I’m sure she wasn’t expecting it to be perfect, but she probably expected more than a Goldfish cracker on some rice.
That Is Actually Hilarious
You know that you’ve pushed someone to the limit when they actually go into their phone and change your name to “nitwit husband.” No one changes anyone’s contact information on their phone.
This Makes My Skin Crawl
I’m sure when his girlfriend agreed to let him use some of her hair styling product, she didn’t think that he was going to make little hair spikes out of his leg hair.
Just Empty The Bath
When someone asks you to fill the tub for them, do you just fill it up and let all those bottles just float around? It feels weird and kind of dirty.