One of the hardest things about online dating is that you have to try and extract information about a person from a limited set of facts, a couple of photos, and maybe a short bio. It’s not a lot to go on.
On Reddit, one person asked what question or photo people wished potential matches would have to post on dating apps, and the answers are all incredible.
“You Live Like This?”
“Their computer desktop organization.”
Have you ever looked at the way someone had their documents and pictures just scattered all over the screen and wondered how they live like that? Because same.
And, No, Kraft Dinner Doesn’t Count As Cooking
“The last six meals they cooked.”
You can tell a lot about a person based on what they eat regularly. Ramen noodles are fine every once in a while, but for out of their last six meals, it is a cry for help.
Some Books Are Just Red Flags
As an English major, I feel like I have enough authority to say that if his favorite book is by Ernest Hemmingway, Charles Bukowski, or is simply Infinite Jest, that’s a red flag.
We Need To Be On The Same Wavelength
“I would like to see the inside of their fridge, please.”
For example, I would be terrified by a man who only has White Claws and Chinese takeout containers in there, but I would also never date someone who only had veggies. It’s called balance.
60,000 Miles Is Absurd
“I wouldn’t want to see their car, but their vehicle’s maintenance history. My last ex had a 2018 Chevy and killed the engine because she went 60,000 miles without an oil change.”
As A Woman Of Color, I Feel This
One time I had a (white) man invite me over for dinner only to feed me salmon which he had “seasoned” by pouring a layer of garlic powder over the top. I took one bite, faked sick, and went home.
If He Has A Pokémon Card Collection, He’s Too Young For You Bro
“Their collections. Do they collect books? Board games? Video games? Sneakers? Cocktail dresses? Makeup? Computer parts? Minerals? Dead insects? Skulls? Empty Doritos bags? Children from different mothers/fathers? Beanie babies?”
This Is How To Tell The Difference Between Normal People And Psychopaths
“How they load the dishwasher.”
I’m not even saying there is one right way, but I need to see that the person has demonstrated some logical strategy when putting the dishes in.
Dumpster Diving, But Make It Cute
“I would want to see their garbage can. You can tell a lot about how messy, resourceful, healthy, etc. they are from their trash.”
For example, if it’s full of 3-in-1 shampoo bottles, he might not be the one.
This Is A Great Way To Test Their Values
“Their most valuable item. I’d want to know if they select status symbols, material objects, something sentimental, or their favorite game, book, or collectible. Almost like if there was a fire and you could only grab three things, what would you take?”
I’d Like To See This Before Getting A Roommate, Too
“Their kitchen sink.”
How many plates are stacked inside? Are there pieces of old, soggy food just sitting in there? How long has the sink looked like that? These are the important questions.
Preferably By Random Selection
“Screenshots of his texts to his mom.”
Listen, if a man can’t respect his mom, who went through hours of labor to bring into the world and also paid for his sports growing up, he will never respect you.
Make This Mandatory!!!
“To be honest, I just need an audio file of them chewing.”
Everyone has met at least one person in their life who had such an annoyingly loud and gross way of chewing. That person cannot be my boyfriend.
Can’t Love Someone Who Has The “Clothes Chair”
“I’m a big ‘the bedroom should be clean’ person. I know everyone would just tidy their room for their photo, but if it was honest, it’d be really handy for me.”
Add Me On Apple Music If You’re Real
“Music playlists for sure; those would tell a lot.”
I’m not saying that it’s okay to stereotype people, but I also have never met a man who religiously listened to Tame Impala who was also a good person.
If I See The Brown Ring In The Toilet, I’m Out
“Their bathroom. I feel like I judge a person on the state of it—I’m uncomfortable if it’s really unclean because the whole point of the space is to clean yourself there.”
We All Have That One Drawer
“Obviously, a photo of their junk drawer. You know, the one full of cables, batteries, spare Christmas cards from 5 years ago, small change, and those kinds of things.”
No Backseat Full Of Fast Food Wrappers!
“Their car—or more of the inside. If it’s clean and stays clean I’ll date you.”
The thing is, I have nothing against people with messy cars—your space, your prerogative. I just couldn’t see myself ever marrying one.
This Person Is Asking For Too Much
“Full access to their browsing history.”
I don’t ever want a man to see my browsing history; not because it’s gross, but because I don’t want him to know that I’ve googled “how do snakes move” over 15 times and still don’t understand it.
There’s Already An App That Solved Catfishing!
“I met someone the other day who just brought out a dating app that required a photo to be taken every day at a random time. You only have 15 seconds to take a photo of yourself, so you can’t fake what you look like.
“He told me sometimes he had to take a picture in a busy metro. If you missed the photo opportunity, you couldn’t use the app for the rest of the day.”