People Share The Worst Things They Learned In Health Class

While some people learned some valuable things in their school health classes, most of us were subjected to weird informational videos that were made in the ’80s and a confusing banana demonstration. However, some people were left with even more questions than answers.

People on Reddit shared things they either believed or were told about health education

Women Are Actually Werewolves

I read in a book once that women either have their period on the full moon or the new moon. I actually believed this for years.
Story Credit: Reddit / thudly
Story Credit: Reddit / thudly

I really did not understand why periods were associated with moons, but it was something we heard a lot of the time in health class. No wonder this woman was confused.

Y’all Thirsty?

My teacher would say: "A glass of water is the best contraception. You don't drink it before or after sex. You drink it instead"
Story Credit: Reddit / papaverrhoeas
Story Credit: Reddit / papaverrhoeas

Honestly, this health class teacher decided to kill two birds with one stone by getting kids to practice abstinence while also encouraging them to drink a lot more water. It’s borderline brilliant.

That Would Be A Bloody Affair

My best friend thought you could only get pregnant when you were on your period,
Story Credit: Reddit / libbyfisherya
Story Credit: Reddit / libbyfisherya

I mean, logistically, I can understand why someone might believe this when they’re younger because we find out that periods are related in some way to pregnancy, but we’re not always told exactly how.

Swish, Swish

Part of our health lesson involved us throwing a giant sperm puppet through a basketball hoop to demonstrate "how obviously useless condoms are."
Story Credit: Reddit / ladyoflate
Story Credit: Reddit / ladyoflate

I don’t know where exactly one gets a “sperm puppet” or how the teacher believed that this was a relevant metaphor, but I would love to see if I could hit a free throw with the puppet.

I Hope She Didn’t Test This

There was a long time when I was young that I believed that if you had your period and put a tampon in, you could just pee and the tampon would soak up the pee.
Story Credit: Reddit / taco_dog
Story Credit: Reddit / taco_dog

I’m just imagining this young girl sitting in class with thinking, with full confidence, that she didn’t even have to go to the washroom and then proceeding to pee her pants.

I Literally Have No Words

I was told tampons cause infertility because the ovaries cannot "air out"
Story Credit: Reddit / Manonxo
Story Credit: Reddit / Manonxo

Did the person who said this think that air is supposed to get in there? Did they believe that tampons work like a plug in a bathtub? All around, I hate it.

Woman Are Secretly Reptiles

When I was six, I heard
Story Credit: Reddit / Fickle_Monster
Story Credit: Reddit / Fickle_Monster

In my personal opinion, I would definitely trade having a period for shedding my skin once a month—it would be like the best exfoliation treatment of all time, leaving us all with baby soft skin.

I Don’t See The Issue Here

My school told us that using birth control was like robbing a bank and not getting caught.The rhythm method was the only acceptable method.
Story Credit: Reddit / four1996
Story Credit: Reddit / four1996

I don’t understand if this phrase was meant to deter or encourage students to use birth control methods, but I will say that if I could rob a bank and not get caught, I definitely would.

If Only It Were That Easy

My suite mate in college seriously said, "Girls should jump up and down after sex to avoid pregnancy."
Photo Credit: Reddit / VeronicaNew
Photo Credit: Reddit / VeronicaNew

I sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, hope that the man who said this was hooking up with girls who were smart enough to know that this isn’t a good plan B…or even a plan Z.

Here Comes Death, I Guess

No one told me about periods before I was old enough to have it. I got it when I was 12 and genuinely thought I was dying when I went to the bathroom and "peed" blood.
Story Credit: Reddit / sensitivity001
Story Credit: Reddit / sensitivity001

I genuinely believe that one of the greatest failures of the health education curriculum is that they don’t teach girls about periods and what happens during them until after they’re already of age to get one.

This Pamphlet Was Given To Students

list of 101 ways to say no to sex from pamphlet
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ROSNALJU
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ROSNALJU

This list is full of many hilarious options, but my personal favorites are “I’m allergic to sex,” “I don’t do sex,” “I have a sunburn,” and “It’s not worth it.”

The World Would Be A Much Different Place If This Were True

I was told that you can get pregnant from hugging and that you can get AIDS from kissing.
Story Credit: Reddit / gouwbadgers
Story Credit: Reddit / gouwbadgers

Picture this: you’re 11 years old at recess and your best friend is crying because she was hit in the face with a basketball. You want to comfort her with a hug, but you’re afraid it will get her pregnant. Instead, you awkwardly pat her shoulder.

Who Does This Help?

We watched a video of a cat giving birth in health class
Story Credit: Reddit / emmmaroid
Story Credit: Reddit / emmmaroid

It might be one thing to want to explain the birthing process to students, but I don’t know what anyone is supposed to learn from watching Snowball pop out a litter.

I Learned This Wasn’t True Far Too Late

It's surprising how many people both male and female alike think that women urinate from the same hole as you menstruate from.
Story Credit: Reddit / PmMeYourCheesePics
Story Credit: Reddit / PmMeYourCheesePics

I’m totally honest: I learned more about female reproductive organs and anatomy from watching a slew of medical television shows and reading a couple of issues of Cosmo magazine than I did from school

Okay, But This Is Kind Of Adorable

I read an article where a young newlywed couple couldn't understand why the woman didn't get pregnant since they slept in the same bed. Nobody had explained that "sleeping together" was just a euphemism.
Story Credit: Reddit / woollyhammock
Story Credit: Reddit / woollyhammock

I’m picturing this couple climbing into bed together every night in their pajamas, kissing each other goodnight, turning off the lights, and peacefully sleeping next to each other while waiting for her to get pregnant.

I Am So Confused

My mum told me there was no such thing as ovulation when I was 9. To this day, I haven't had the courage to ask her how she thinks I got here.
Story Credit: Reddit / kirstopheles
Story Credit: Reddit / kirstopheles

I don’t know how you could deny that ovulation exists, especially if you already have a child. Does this woman believe that she had a daughter as a result of virgin birth, Mary-style?

The Textbooks All Looked Like This

illustration of a teen boy thinking "I don't want a sexual relationship yet!" and his crotch saying "I do!"
Photo Credit: Reddit / jrreess
Photo Credit: Reddit / jrreess

I would like to know who was in charge of writing and illustrating books about puberty, because every single one contained cringey, weird cartoons like this, and they really thought that they “related to the kids.”

…Why Was He Watching?

A video from my health class involved a man saying "I grew up on a farm, and I learned all I needed to know about sex by watching the animals."
Story Credit: Reddit / Fruitloop800
Story Credit: Reddit / Fruitloop800

First of all, I feel so sorry for this man’s wife, who apparently has been treated like a cow in heat for her whole life. Secondly, I feel sorry for the students who had to hear this.

It’s Not Like In The Movies

I used to think guys rubbed their wieners on a girls' stomach for a long time to get them pregnant because that's how it looked when my mom watched movies with sex scenes.
Story Credit: Reddit / Crystal_God
Story Credit: Reddit / Crystal_God

From watching movies with my mom when I was a kid, I really thought that the naked tango was just thirty seconds of people kissing underneath the sheet while being weirdly sweaty.

That Would Be So Much Grosser

a male friend of mine though women pooped babies out until he was 15.
Story Credit: Reddit
Story Credit: Reddit

Childbirth already is a fairly gross and terrifying experience for women, but it would be infinitely worse if the baby came out like the result of eating too many spicy fish tacos.