People Share Their Exes’ Reasons For Cheating On Them, And They’re So Awful That They’re Amazing

We all know that we’re not supposed to cheat on our significant others, but sometimes cheaters will try to explain their side of the story and the reasons behind their infidelity to get their partner to be a little more forgiving.

Then there are people like this, whose given reasons for cheating are so unjustified that they’re kind of hilarious.

The Tweet That Started It All

Of all the reasons to give, bringing up their (moderately rational) fear of driving is not even close to being a good one. However, this tweet invited many more women to share their cheating stories.

10 Hours Is Not Enough Time To Make Assumptions, Sir

Ladies, picture this: you’re feeling unwell after a long week and decide that your body could use a rest. You go to bed and wake to find out that your boyfriend cheated after you didn’t text him back. Do you kill him, or just feel embarrassed that you were ever attracted to him?

He “Forgot”?

Memory is imperfect and in some situations was fail to remember to pick up milk on the way home or someone’s birthdate. Forgetting that you’re in a committed relationship is not one of those situations.

Just Doing The Lord’s Work

“Haha, yeah babe. God came to me in a dream after I was fantasizing about my co-worker Rachel and told me that I had to have sex with her while still together with you.”

Bro, e-Transfer Exists

This might come as a surprise to some, but there are ways to pay people back after they buy you something that don’t involve getting naked and playing hide the eggplant. Say, Venmo.

Insecurity Is One Heck Of A Drug

Apart from the hilarity that this man really thought this was a valid reason, he clearly has put way too much thought and time into comparing their head sizes and worrying about photographs.

This Is Why I Don’t Date Literature Graduates Anymore

First of all, I’m so sick of the narrative in books/films written by men that assumes women need to be traumatized in order to become strong characters. Secondly, this guy is the worst.

Wow, What A Convincing Lie

Fellas, have you ever been at a party and were just so sick of getting hit on by so many women that you needed your bro to suck on your neck?

Oh, The Weather Outside Is Frightful

I’ve heard of men trying to “baby, it’s cold outside” themselves into getting a girl to stay over, but I have never heard of trying to use it as justification for cheating.

Did She Gift-Wrap Herself Too?

Now, I know that there is a certain set of social rules regarding gift-giving and receiving, namely that it’s rude to refuse a gift. However, I think this was an exception.

Poor Wittle Baby With His Fragile Wittle Ego

Poor wittle baby doesn’t like the idea of a woman being more successful than him as he spends all of his time playing Fortnite and expecting a raise despite being mediocre at his job.

Hmmm, Can’t Imagine Why…

A question for the dudes: have you ever met a girl that reminded you of your GIRLFRIEND who you’re supposed to LOVE AND CHERISH and thought, I should cheat on my girlfriend with her?

I Can’t Pin Down The Thought Process

What was going through this man’s head? Did he think to himself that, if his girlfriend wasn’t going to bowl with him, that he’d find a girl who loves wearing ill-fitting shoes and sticking her fingers into communal germ holes?

I Smell Cap

Ahah, just the classic take her number and instead of just never texting her, taking her to see a movie and paying for everything before hooking up in the back of her car. Such a good one, bro.

Can I See The Scientific Study Behind This Assertion?

You have to love all the good things scientific research has given us, like insulin, cures for many diseases that used to be fatal, and the “fact” that you have to cheat on your girlfriend.

Wow, I Can’t Believe She Distrusted You Man

You know when your girlfriend asks if you’ve been cheating because of the dismissive and shady way you’ve been acting towards her, so in order to solve things you sleep with someone else to prove her right? Yeah, me neither.

Be Honest: Do Men Deserve Rights?

Imagine being a man and having a very pregnant significant other who is exhausted from having to do everyday tasks while carrying a whole human being inside her tummy and being like, “time to cheat!”

He Was Trying To Secure The Bag

I’m sorry this happened to you, sis, but this is high-key the best justification in this article. I mean, he was just trying to advance in his career and took a less professional approach. Still trash, but like, compostables.

Hmmm, How Can I Make A Breakup Easier? I Know, Cheating!

Sadly, there was a man I was friends with in college who once lied to his girlfriend and said he cheated because he didn’t want to be the one who did the breaking-up part.

Bold Strategy With No Chance Of Payoff

You’ve heard of “I was lonely because you were gone” and “I was so drunk that I did it without thinking and I regret everything”; now get ready for “I smoked crack”.