People Are Sharing Their ‘Favorite Unsolicited DMs,’ And They’re Wild

By now, most of us have received some kind of DM we didn’t really want. Someone from high school wants you to buy into their MLM, or some random page on Instagram messages you asking if you want to “collab” even though you have like 200 followers.

Yeah, you know.

Sometimes, you can’t help but laugh at these messages, especially if you get some pretty crazy ones. Caitie Delaney asked her Twitter followers what their favorite DM was, and the responses did not disappoint.

Are You Sure You Didn’t?

He can pretend all he wants that he didn’t mean to send that heart, but he did.

I would find it easier to believe that he sent it by accident while trying to work up the nerve to actually send it.

Alright, This Is Kind Of Smooth

This is pretty smooth, to be honest. It’s a great conversation starter, at the very least. You can’t really be mad at that, right?

This only could have gone well for him.

Is This A Countdown?

Is he going to count down and deduct a point for every day that she does not answer him?

That would actually be very on-brand for guys who message girls on Instagram.

This Seems Like A Trick Question

The real question is why are they asking if she believes in ghosts? What do they know that we don’t?

I wonder what kind of conversation this person was hoping to have.

There Is No Try, Only Do

Try and do what exactly? Things like this always make me wonder what these kinds of people like to do with their spare time.

Do they go around sending vaguely threatening and possibly motivational messages to people?

This Is Very Offensive And Flattering

Reading this message makes me wonder if we aren’t all psychopaths on the inside a little bit.

I would love it if someone told me I had the dead eyes of a shark.

This Can’t Be True

First off, if you were going to send a text like that, you would think you’d really check to make sure that the number was correct.

Secondly, this guy wears a fedora. I just know it.

Depends On Who Is Asking

This seems like the kind of classified information that you only share with the people who are closest to you.

If you have to ask, do you really want the answer?

Sorry About Your Ravioli

It would be a bummer to find blood in your ravioli, but I’m not sure what this person thinks a stranger on the internet can do about it.

They’ll get this problem figured out on their own.

How Could It Not Be True?

I would be less concerned about the message itself and more worried about where this person got that information from.

Who are you talking to that knows this about me?

Never Forget

I wish there was something that I felt as passionate about as this person feels about hot dogs being an American classic.

We don’t need to know the context of this message, it’s fine on its own.

Automatic Message…OK

Your phone doesn’t magically message the people you think are cute.

You put the message out there, you can’t go and say it was your phone’s fault when you don’t get an answer.

“Would You Like Me To Be…?”

It would be nice to know why this person is asking this question. It isn’t even a question, it seems more like a statement.

If this is a come-on, it’s a really weird one.

OK…

The great thing about teeth is that they’re really good at doing things for everyone who has them.

You can use them to smile and eat, and those are two fun things.

Separate Yourself From The Temptation

I admire this person for taking himself out of a situation where he thinks he might keep being creepy.

I do not think that he needed to let anyone know that he was going to, though.

That Is Only One Reason

Maybe this person thinks that being super hot is the only reason to date someone.

That would explain how he ended up with a fat crush on someone he’s only seen online.

What Kind Of Psychological Test Is This?

Does this person want a response to this message or not? It’s hard to tell.

I would answer and make them bathe in seafood because they seem really turned off by that idea.

There Are No Answers

The moment someone messages you stating that they have questions is the moment you should block them.

Don’t start off with an interrogation. No good is going to come of that.

This Is A Loaded Message

Who even listens to CDs anymore? What kind of music would someone write as a tribute to Charles Manson?

This seems like the kind of message that is best left unopened.

Make Me Shut Up

Telling someone to shut up is so rude. There is no need for that kind of talk in someone’s DMs.

Just unfollow if you don’t like what they’re saying. You have that power.