No woman ever starts dating a man hoping she can also fill in as his second mother, maid, and babysitter. Yet more often than not, our boyfriends prove to be man-children who need all the help they can get. For those of us who stayed like these women coming up, all the more power to you.
Secret My Little Pony Fan
“I just caught my boyfriend in the act. He doesn’t know that I know his secret.” Let’s make one this clear: he is definitely not the target demographic for the show.
We’re still undecided if it’s concerning that his maturity level is engaged by a show for toddlers, or if this is innocently cute. Either way, it’s better than dating a player.
It’s Like Shopping With A Child
This store has arcade machines to keep the boyfriends occupied while the girlfriends shop.
The reason for this is because otherwise, it’s like shopping with a child who does nothing but complain and ask when it’s time to go eat in the food court. Plus, it ensures you can find them when you’re done.
So Much For A Nice Picture
“My boyfriend likes to cover my face with all sorts of things.” This is why some girlfriends just can’t take their boyfriends out somewhere nice.
Imagine having your boyfriend cut pieces out of a pickle slice to make it fit over your face at a five-star restaurant.
Grown Man-Proof Sippy Cup
“Boyfriend knocked over his orange juice, waitress brought him this.”
You’ve heard of child-proof lids that keep the straw in so a kid doesn’t spill all over themselves, but have you heard of the grown man-proof lids? They’re clearly equally necessary.
“Farting Boyfriend Causes Neighbors To Call Police”
There are actually two layers to this. First, how bad of a relationship do you have to be in to be fighting over farts?
Second, how much do you have to be struggling as a newspaper to include a story about a farting boyfriend?
Remember The Superbowl Sharks?
“My boyfriend is a seller on Amazon. This is what I came home to.” In the boyfriend’s defense, this was the year this shark was made super famous thanks to his dancing skills, or lack thereof, at the Super Bowl.
The man is just trying to make some money and have fun with it.
“Today My Boyfriend Bought A Label Maker…”
Thank goodness he labeled it, otherwise, we could have never guessed what it was… It’s unclear what the purpose of him buying a label marker was, exactly, but that had better not be it.
We’re pretty sure the cat doesn’t care if it’s a cat, and frankly, it feels like a waste of paper and ink.
Staying Occupied Productively
“During a 12-hour flight delay, my boyfriend wandered off. When I found him he was in the middle of a Pixar movie marathon with a group of 5-year-olds.”
In his defense, there isn’t much to do at an airport between flights. Although, he somehow blends right in with the rest of the toddlers.
The Right Shade Of Murder
Yes, you read that right, this boyfriend murdered that lovely shade of red lipstick. His girlfriend had asked him to sharpen her lipstick. Except, she probably meant with a pencil sharpener.
He decided to get creative and used the biggest knife there ever was and cut the whole top off.
It Only Took 21 Years
What age did you start drinking coffee at? We don’t know about you, but even if we didn’t drink it, we knew how to make it.
The instructions are idiot-proof, add water in one compartment and scoops of coffee in the other. How do you mess that up?
It’s The Effort That Counts
This boyfriend tried to make tea, but he forgot that you’re supposed to strain it. These parts aren’t supposed to be swallowed.
Maybe this boyfriend and the last one can sit down together for a crash course on how to make the most basic hot drinks: coffee and tea.
Don’t Count On Them For Flattering Pictures
The pictures the girlfriend takes use angles and lighting to capture his best features, and they could basically be submitted to a modeling agency if he really wanted.
The pictures he takes, on the other hand, could only be considered good if the request was “take the most unflattering picture of me possible.”
She Told Her Boyfriend To Dress Up As The Penguin
The boyfriend didn’t quite understand what she meant when she said he should be the Penguin…
However, you’d think sometime before making the purchase, he would’ve at least clarified or consulted her…
This Is Why You Read The Label
If they had one cleaner that works on everything, then our cabinets wouldn’t be filled with six different cleaning solutions.
Unfortunately, some of us learn the hard way that different textures and parts of the home require different kinds of cleaners.
So Close…Yet So Far
“My boyfriend reached a new level of laziness.” All he needed to do was push the roll in by just about an inch.
It actually looks like balancing it on the side like that would’ve taken more effort than actually sitting it in right.
Where Could The Remote Possibly Be…?
“He insisted that he DID NOT have it!” We’ve got to give credit where credit is due, and one thing boyfriends are really good at is denial, denial, denial.
They’ll say they have no idea where the remote is just like they had no idea why their ex was texting them all of a sudden.
Dinner Is Served
“So my boyfriend made me popcorn chicken…” This can really go two ways, either he did it on purpose being a comedian, and we can all laugh, or he genuinely believed he was making popcorn chicken, and we should all worry for him.
The silver lining is that the chicken itself looks very well done.
His Versus Hers
“My boyfriend and I got the same Valentine’s Day card for each other. The inside couldn’t be more different, though.”
If what it’s like being the boyfriend versus the girlfriend could be summarized in one picture, this right here would be it. No more needs to be said.
Don’t Bother Asking Them For Help
“I asked my boyfriend to join my Zoom meeting to critique my assignment presentation.”
Clearly, she was better off depending entirely on herself. She will learn, eventually, like the rest of us. Maybe one day she’ll realize that this is why we’re single: we’re saving ourselves the headache.
This Actually Seems Fair
It turns out that sometimes girlfriends are the ones who are clueless. They think for sure they’re not hungry until their boyfriend’s food is sitting right under their noses, and then they pick at half of it.
This boyfriend is just covering his bases.