Boozy Cautionary Tales To Wet Your Whistle
Most people enjoy a good drink now and then, and there is no shame in that. There is also no shame in liking more than a drink or two every once and while.
What there is shame in are the shenanigans that some of us get up to when we're three double vodka cranberries deep in our feelings and soon to be living in a world of regret.
We've All Been Here
When you want your McDonald's, you want it, and no wrapper is going to stand in your way. There are worse things you can put in your mouth than paper, right?
When In Rome
Honestly, it isn't that this meal was expensive, it's that eggs and crab cakes seem like the worst things you could possibly eat while drinking. You're just asking to puke everywhere.
That Sounds Like The Opposite Of A Problem?
Yes, $5 a week could be the difference between having my two iced coffees I need to survive the day or not having them, but being able to tell people you have a kangaroo seems like a fair trade-off.
Everyone Needs A Stuffed Ostrich
Let's just skip to the important part here: where was this person, drunk, that they found a stuffed ostrich for sale and someone actually let them buy it? Doesn't that seem insane?
They Were Meant For Each Other
Let's hope that when they get married, they bring those Irish accents back when they exchange their vows and again when they give their thank you speeches recounting the story.
It's Almost Believable
It's honestly impressive that she was coherent enough to put this amazing image together, but not coherent enough to understand that it looks god awful and only would make her mom more suspicious.
At Least She Cares
Not sure what it is that would possess someone to message an airport and ask them if they are OK, but maybe she just had a feeling they needed to be checked on.
She Called Her A Disgrace
Imagine being all hyped up to message your grandma, your birthday twin, and you send her your well-wishes, and then she tells you that you're a disgrace. Is she wrong? Will you ever change?
This Is Why They're Man's Best Friend
What a sweetie, napping next to her human all night. She was probably making sure that he got through the night without making any of the embarrassing mistakes that drunk people are prone to make.
Don't Be A Coward
You can drink your margaritas anywhere if you're brave enough to make it work. They're basically just smoothies with booze in them, and smoothies are healthy so there ya go.
That Is An Actual Tragedy
If you go out of your way to buy yourself a delicious burger, you're going to tell me that you wouldn't be devastated if your so-called best friend took a huge bite out of it?
"I'm Just Saving It For Later"
Getting drunk pizza and waking up to find that you still have some left over is an amazing feeling. What isn't so great is finding it stuffed into your bike.
This Is The Most Serious This Person Has Been
In that moment, I believe that they wanted that triangle more than they've ever wanted anything else in the world. They could probably hear the chiming in their head while they typed.
Some People Text Their Ex...
...Others text their daughter and tell them to never buy them curry noodles again. Honestly, if she doesn't like the noodles, then everyone should know it. You don't want someone bringing you the wrong takeout.
Now This Is The Self-Love We All Need
What a lovely surprise it would have been to come home to a lovely package to you from you telling you how great you are. Whose love matters more than your love for yourself?
This Is The Kind Of Productivity We Like To See
While there is no reason for the potatoes to be lined up this way, there is also no reason for them not to be, and that's what we should be focusing on here.
I'll Never Look At Cheerios The Same Again
There are a lot of things you can do while you're renting someone's house for the weekend that would be worse than labeling all of the cereal with weird but somehow still correct names.
That's One Way To Cook Pasta
This could have been worse, they could have turned the toaster on, burnt all that pasta, and made it smell like burnt pasta in that kitchen for the foreseeable future.
A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words
The selfie to end all selfies is this one right here. It's cute, it's flirty, and there are two people throwing down in the background. It's a picture that will leave people asking a thousand questions.
That's One Way To Handle It
This guy's roommate punched a hole in the wall while black out drunk, and instead of taking steps to fix it, he just slapped a sticker on it and said, "that's life."
