Halloween is such a fun holiday because you get to dress up as someone else for a night. Some people like to rock their own look and some like to coordinate with friends, but people in relationships tend to opt for the “couples costume.”
While some couples costumes can be cute, the vast majority are cringey at best and horrific at worst.
Big Chastity Belt Energy
The person who designed this costume probably thought they were so clever since, during the naked tango, a guy inserts his key into a woman’s lock—yeah, that’s totally original and not gross or weird at all.
Will You Be The Potato To My Potato?
All we want in relationships is to find the perfect complementary partner to us: the ying to our yang, the sun to our moon, or the Mr. Potato Head to our Mrs. Potato Head.
Must Be Jelly Because Jam Don’t Shake!
I hope no one at the party had a nut allergy because they would have a serious reaction to this duo’s costume. Jokes aside, this PB&J costume is kind of adorable, even if it makes me hungry.
It’s A Shoe-In!
I’ve heard of people wanting to buy a pair of converse sneakers to wear on their feet, but I’ve never seen someone want to wear the shoes as a full outfit.
Baby, You’re A Work of Art
Honestly, there are few people who have walked this Earth who are (or were) as wholesome and gentle-spirited as painter Bob Ross. His voice is so soothing, and I would personally love to participate in this costume.
Socket To Me!
This plug and outlet costume is quite possibly the worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life, and I once watched the entirety of Sharknado, so that’s really saying something.
Name A More Iconic Duo… I’ll Wait
There is no pairing that I love more in the world than wine and cheese (well, preferably wine with a well-arranged charcuterie board of cheese), so I can understand why people might like this costume.
This One Actually Makes A Lot Of Sense
Most heterosexual couples I know mimic the dynamics of the king and queen pieces in chess: the queen is super capable and does pretty much everything, while the man just kind of stands there.
Good, Wholesome, Clean Fun
I’m not going to lie: that tulle loofa costume is a really cute dress. My only concern about the couple aspect is that I’m not sure men would understand the soap not being a 3-in-1.
This costume, which is officially titled “Dear In Headlights Couples Costume” had to have been designed by one of the most disturbed people to walk the Earth. Also, if she’s the road, why does she have headlights? Make it make sense!
Beer With Me…
As far as couples costumes go, this lime and Corona costume is pretty cool. Unfortunately for their relationship, lime also goes well with tequila, so he’ll have to work hard to hold onto her.
Why Have A Baby Together When You Can Be Babies Together?
A cool thing about wearing this two-person baby costume to a party is that drunk adults are essentially babies: they fall over easily, they cry for no reason, they struggle to pronounce words, and they occasionally wet their pants.
A Third Wheel Could Be The Winky Emoji
I can’t decide if I find this eggplant and peach couples costume absolutely abhorrent, or if I actually kind of like how tongue-in-cheek it is. Either way, I doubt this is what Steve Jobs intended when Apple popularized emojis.
Do You Have A Condiment?
Have you ever sat at a diner table eating a low-quality burger with fries, looked over at the bottles of condiments, and thought, “Wow, I wish me and my boyfriend could look like that…”?
That’s One Way To Show Who’s A Top Vs. A Bottom
If you’re a fan of the cookies, this Oreo-themed costume would be pretty cute. Let’s just hope that, unlike the actual snack, people won’t try to split them apart.
Is There Anything More Romantic Than Basic Oral Hygiene?
Jokes aside, can you imagine dating someone who did not take personal hygiene (especially oral hygiene) seriously? No one wants to kiss someone who regularly has bad breath and lettuce in their teeth.
Is This Pairing Worth Anything In Blackjack?
I’m not going to lie: I know little to nothing about gambling or casino games other than the fact that blackjack involves playing cards. I don’t understand why a couple would choose this king and queen card costume rather than just being a regular pair of royal figures…
A Seasoned Couple, Some May Say
Want to add a little spice to your relationship? This salt and pepper couples costume is a sweet way to savor how compatible of a pair the two of you are.
Make Some Concessions In Your Relationship
Have you ever dreamed of dressing up as the overpriced food someone might buy at a baseball game? If so, this hot dog and fries costume is the costume for you and your boo. Just avoid talking about the wiener.
And, Lastly, A Nice Wholesome One
At the end of the day, a perfect couples costume has the same qualities as a great relationship: there are two separate pieces that go together seamlessly to make a better whole. So I guess this puzzle-piece costume works.