‘You’re Better At Solving Other People’s Problems’ And Other Facts Ruining Your Life

The brain is as fascinating as it is complicated. It can be our own worst enemy. It is always hard to separate feelings from logic and even when the brain lights up red flags for us and guides us, it’s that same brain that also leads us to sabotage ourselves. But why?

This is the question TikTok’s @coachlisy, a self-discovery coach, has attempted to answer by breaking down psychological facts one by one.

Your Brain Focuses On The Negative

man smoking by window
Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels
Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels

It takes five positive things to outweigh one negative thing. Your brain has a negative bias which is why you remember more bad news than good news.

Don’t be too hard on yourself when you can’t see the silver lining. It takes double the work to see beyond that bad breakup.

Your Brain Wants You To Be Lazy

woman wrapped in white duvet
Photo Credit: Elvira Gibadullina / Pexels
Photo Credit: Elvira Gibadullina / Pexels

Coach Lisy says that conserving energy is one of your brain’s top priorities. It’s been essential for human survival.

Next time you’re canceling on yet another date to binge-watch Netflix, you can rest assured that you’re just conforming to your survival.

You Are A Social Being By Nature

two men on top of truck in sunset
Photo Credit: Roman Odins / Pexels
Photo Credit: Roman Odins / Pexels

You probably prefer to park next to another car even in an empty parking lot. There has been a lot of research done on why we tend to follow the crowd. This behavior explains that we as humans are social beings.

This is likely why even when you’re happy being single, you still feel lonely sometimes.

We Can’t Get Used To Smartphones

woman on the phone in bed with a dog on either side of her
Photo Credit: Nataliya Vaitkevich / Pexels
Photo Credit: Nataliya Vaitkevich / Pexels

You can’t see smartphones in your dreams. Since smartphones and other modern devices are newer, our brains just haven’t gotten used to them yet.

Maybe this is the real reason men are so bad at texting. They just haven’t caught up yet.

For Those Who Are Always Late

Man in a suit and sunglasses outside checking his watch
Photo Credit: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
Photo Credit: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels

People who are chronically late have a hard time estimating how long a task is actually going to take. This is called planning fallacy.

Might as well be fashionably late and make them work for it.

Feet Speak Louder Than Words

two pairs of feet pointing forward while sitting
Photo Credit: Quang Ang Ha Nguyen / Pexels
Photo Credit: Quang Ang Ha Nguyen / Pexels

You position your feet toward the person you’re most interested in. This is a survival instinct. Your body needs to make sure that it can react immediately if it feels any type of threat.

Next time you’re around your crush, it might be worth it to take a look down.

The Way You Text Says A Lot About You

woman texting by window at nighttime
Photo Credit: Miko Toraw / Pexels
Photo Credit: Miko Toraw / Pexels

What does your text reveal about you according to Coach Lisy? If you write long texts, you are a sensitive and thoughtful person.

Writing long messages is important for you to get across all your feelings and thoughts. Unfortunately, some people see it as needy.

Food Made By Someone Else Will Always Taste Better

woman holding cooked noodles over the pot and smiling
Photo Credit: Daria Shevtsova / Pexels
Photo Credit: Daria Shevtsova / Pexels

Food made by someone else tastes better than your own cooking. Making your own meal requires you to stand around it for so long that it already seems less appealing by the time you get around to eating it.

This is why it’s always romantic to have your partner cook for you!

You’re Better At Solving Someone Else’s Problem

woman hugs man in the snow
Photo Credit: Daria Shevtsova / Pexels
Photo Credit: Daria Shevtsova / Pexels

You’re more creative when solving someone else’s problem. We think with a wider perspective when there’s some psychological distance.

Maybe there’s a way for you to look outside your own box.

We Don’t Hold The Door Just To Be Gallant

man gives flowers to woman at the door
Photo Credit: Viktoria Slowikowska / Pexels
Photo Credit: Viktoria Slowikowska / Pexels

It goes beyond just trying to be polite. We are all trying to spend less effort doing things—it’s a collective effort less spent.

Basically, we do, or should, treat others the way we want to be treated.

Only Jerks Take The Last Slice Of Pizza

couple lying down and eating pizza at the beach
Photo Credit: Maksim Goncharenok / Pexels
Photo Credit: Maksim Goncharenok / Pexels

You don’t take the last donut or slice of pizza because you don’t feel like you have the right. It’s called the diffusion of entitlement.

Add this to your list of red flags. It might be a good idea to go for pizza on your first date so you can see how selfish they are from the get-go.

You Mimick The People Around You

women having wine around dinner table
Photo Credit: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
Photo Credit: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels

We all love feeling unique, but the reality is you mimic people you interact with, even without realizing it.

Mimicking someone can make them like you more. Specialists call this the chameleon effect. It can be in the form of facial expressions and even accents.

No Music Will Ever Hit Like That One Song From High School

woman listening to music in front of wall with posters
Photo Credit: Marcelo Chagas / Pexels
Photo Credit: Marcelo Chagas / Pexels

You’re programmed to love the music you listened to the most in high school. The music you like the most gives you a hit of dopamine and other feel-good chemicals.

This is especially true when you’re young and your brain is still developing. Your feelings are more intense and they end up paving the way for who you are now.

You Victimize Yourself

woman hugging in her knees by brick wall
Photo Credit: Rafael Barros / Pexels
Photo Credit: Rafael Barros / Pexels

Why do we pity ourselves? Usually, it’s to gain sympathy from others. It can also be to get attention.

Nothing wrong with a little attention, but there is a line between taking a moment to dwell over a text and just wanting everyone to soak in it.

We Like People Who Make Mistakes More

woman looking at man lovingly, standing outside by a tall bush
Photo Credit: Wesner Rodrigues / Pexels
Photo Credit: Wesner Rodrigues / Pexels

Making mistakes draws others closer to you because it makes you seem more human. This is due to something called the pitfall effect. Coach Lisy says that perfection actually creates distance.

If you can’t help but want to give them a second chance, this is your sign to go for it.