When you’re deep in the single life, the last thing you need is people reminding you about your solo relationship status.
Especially if those people are going out of their way to pass judgment or make comments that draw attention to your single status—in a negative way.
Why Do People Feel The Need To Comment On Your Relationship Status?
The people who make condescending comments about your relationship status are usually doing it from a place of jealousy or ignorance.
Unfortunately, these judgmental people are out there in the wild and we want to help you prepare for how to deal with them.
Friends, Family, And Coworkers Can All Be Guilty Of It
If you’ve ever been the victim of single-shaming, you may recognize questions along the lines of: “When are you going to settle down? How come you haven’t found anyone yet? Are you even trying to date?”
A lot of times they come from friends, family, or coworkers who don’t fully understand how annoying those questions can be.
First Of All, It’s None Of Their Business
If someone is pressuring you about your love or sex life, first of all, it’s important to remember that it’s none of their business.
If you don’t feel like explaining yourself, you don’t have to.
“Ask Me About My Career Instead”
A good way to redirect the conversation is to suggest something a little more interesting than your relationship status.
Change the subject to suit your own interests and talk about things that bring you joy. For instance, you could blatantly say, “Ask me about my career instead.” That way you can redirect their negative question.
People Who Bring Up Your Relationship Status Can Make You Feel Insecure (But You Shouldn’t)
Being single is a commitment to yourself in a way.
Maybe you’re already working through your insecurities about single life, and if someone is trying to shame you, it can bring those insecurities back up to the surface.
Is This Person Worth Explaining Yourself To?
Keep your cool and consider whether you feel like explaining your reasoning to them.
You don’t need to go into detail, but a simple “I don’t need a partner to feel happy right now” should be enough to get them off your case.
People In Happy Relationships Also Get Envious Over Single People’s Freedom
The envy that single people feel toward happy couples works the other way as well.
Happily committed couples often long for the single life again, which can cause them to make comments that project their envy onto single people who are thriving.
Flip The Question And Ask Them If They Are Happy In Their Own Relationship
If you think someone might be making you feel bad about your single status purely out of envy, the best way to address it is head-on.
Flip the narrative and ask them whether they are happy in their own relationship, or if they miss being single.
Answer A Crappy Question With An Even Worse Question
In certain situations, you have to answer an inappropriate question with an equally inappropriate response to make the person realize they may have asked something that was too intrusive.
It’s not exactly a conflict-free route, but those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stone questions.
Sometimes You Need To Be Sassy To Get Your Grandparents To Chill
Here’s an example from real life. When my younger sister bought her first home with her boyfriend, my grandma asked me, “When the hell are you going to get it together and find a man to do that with?”
At the time, I let it get under my skin. But instead, I should have responded, “When you stop smoking I’ll find someone to settle down with.” God knows I’d be single forever.
Respond With A Comical, Sarcastic Answer
It’s exhausting to have to answer the same questions over again to random people. Sometimes you can shut them down with a comical, sarcastic answer.
When someone tells you you’re running out of time to find someone to marry, try telling them you’re a beautiful cake and a man is just a little bit of icing on top. Icing can be nice sometimes, but you’re a whole freaking cake on your own.
A Partner Won’t Solve Your Problems Or Make Life Any More Worthy For You
Tell them your honest truth—which is that a partner won’t make your life any more worthy right now.
While it’s great to have a partner to share things with sometimes, it’s certainly not a solution to all of life’s problems. Committing to a partner when you’re not ready will just end in disaster.
A Partner Won’t Miraculously Fill All The Holes In Your Life
If you’re not feeling fulfilled and happy in life when you’re single, don’t expect a partner to miraculously fill those holes.
That’s a lot to ask of a person, and also why there is nothing wrong with waiting until you’re ready to date again.
You Are Prioritizing Your Mental Health
The people who say things to shame you about your relationship status are definitely not considering your mental and emotional health.
If someone is questioning you, it’s a good time to tell them straight-up that you’re prioritizing your mental health right now. Especially if your last relationship was kind of traumatic.
Explain That They Crossed A Line
If you have the opportunity to explain to someone how annoying it can be to be asked questions about your relationship status (as if that’s the only interesting thing about you), you should do it.
Slowly educating our friends and family can maybe save a single person from shame in the future.
You Don’t Owe Anyone An Explanation
There are multiple ways to handle single-shaming; you could respond with anger, embarrassment, or humor and wit.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your decisions and it’s possible they’re just envious of your freedom! Always try to keep your cool and never let the haters get you down.