Why Taking A Temporary Or Permanent Vow Of Celibacy Actually Has Its Benefits

According to Beyonce’s famous tune Irreplaceable: “I can have another you in a minute.” And Bey is right! Dating apps and an increasingly sex-positive society have made casual sex easier than ever before.

Yet, some people are taking a break from the sexual world through self-imposed celibacy. Celibacy can offer lots of benefits to your mental health and can even allow you to learn how to truly connect with future partners. Read on to find out how.

Today’s Fast Moving Dating World

close up of couple holding hands at a table with a candle on it
Photo Credit: René Ranisch / Unsplash
Photo Credit: René Ranisch / Unsplash

Nearly half of all Americans say dating is harder today than it was 10 years ago. But how can this be when you can meet someone new with just a touch or slide of a screen?

Hookups and casual dating are incredibly popular in today’s dating world, which means that sometimes it can be hard to really connect with someone.

Celibacy 101: A Refresher To Those Who Need It

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Photo Credit: Mathilde Langevin / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Mathilde Langevin / Unsplash

Celibacy is a voluntary vow of sexual abstinence. It can also be a promise to remain unmarried. Celibacy looks different to each person, so there’s no single way to practice it.

Some people abstain from all sexual activity (including penetrative and non-penetrative sex), while others engage in things like outercourse (other sexual activities besides penetrative sex).

There Are Tons Of Reasons As To Why Someone May Want To Taking A Break From Sex

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Photo Credit: Iswanto Arif / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Iswanto Arif / Unsplash

Although celibacy is usually associated with religion, there are a number of reasons why someone might choose to remain celibate.

Perhaps you don’t want to have sex, or you want to learn more about your sexuality. Maybe you need a break from always being with somebody, or you might need to take some time to focus on yourself.

A Short Period Of Celibacy

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Photo Credit: Vitor Pinto / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Vitor Pinto / Unsplash

Although some people choose to remain celibate their whole lives, it is possible to be celibate for only a certain period of time.

This time by yourself can help you think about what your needs are, as well as what you can offer to others. When you’re ready to date again, it can help you start off on a clean slate.

Some Benefits Of Celibacy

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Photo Credit: Brooke Cagle / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Brooke Cagle / Unsplash

Even though it may be hard to give up sex for a little while, it may help you further understand the difference between physical and emotional attraction.

If you choose not to date anyone for a little while and truly embrace the single life, this may free up more time to focus on your career, friendships, or family.

Sophia Reed Became Fed Up With Men And Causal Dating

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Photo Credit: Anthony Tran / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Anthony Tran / Unsplash

“I went over to a man’s house that I had been dating for over a year. On my birthday, he talked about himself, and did not even know it was my birthday. Then he kicked me out so that his girlfriend could come over.”

“And I guess a girlfriend he was cheating on because he had just had sex with me. AND he did not bat an eye.”

Reed’s Decision

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Photo Credit: Jonathan Borba / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Jonathan Borba / Unsplash

Reed decided after that fateful birthday that she wouldn’t put herself in these types of compromising positions anymore.

She decided to give up men at least until marriage because she was tired of the modern dating world. She felt like she no longer had respect for herself.

The Casualty Of Sex & Hookups

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Photo Credit: Becca Tapert / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Becca Tapert / Unsplash

Like many other people, Reed wrote that she believes that sex today has become far too casual.

Even though everyone is entitled to their own opinion about sex and relationships, it’s safe to say that the modern dating world moves pretty fast.

Conway’s Story

Selfie of female comedian Eleanor Conway with a big smile
Photo Credit: @EleanorConway / Twitter
Photo Credit: @EleanorConway / Twitter

In 2018, Youtuber & comedian Eleanor Conway tried celibacy for 10 months. She called it “a massive relief.” She said that she stopped seeing men as sex objects and females as competition.

Conway saw her platonic relationships with men and women improve. She was able to focus on her career and is now open to a sexual relationship. That being said, she knows it will happen only if she has a true connection with a person.

Seeing Yourself In A New Light

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Photo Credit: Caroline Hernandez / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Caroline Hernandez / Unsplash

Many who have tried celibacy claim that it helps you to see and understand yourself in a way that you can’t when you’re having sex.

Celibacy change how you treat your future relationships for the better, and how you connect with partners (pun intended). Read on to see a couple of popular celebrities who have tried out celibacy.

Lenny Kravitz

Lenny Kravitz posing with drink in his hand attends Dom Perignon Last Supper Party Hosted By Lenny Kravitz And Alan Faena on December 04, 2019 in Miami, Florida.
Photo Credit: Sean Zanni / Patrick McMullan via Getty Images
Photo Credit: Sean Zanni / Patrick McMullan via Getty Images

In a 2008 interview with Maxim, at the time, the musician claimed that he hadn’t done the deed in three years.

At the time, he was allegedly trying to be more patient with his love life. This was because he wanted a relationship that was centered on “the mind and spirit” rather than something “physical.”

Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga in a stunning black dress posing with her award, winner of the Music (Original Song) award for 'Shallow' from 'A Star Is Born,' attends the 2019 Vanity Fair Oscar Party
Photo Credit: Dia Dipasupil / Getty Images
Photo Credit: Dia Dipasupil / Getty Images

Lady Gaga is another pop star who decided to try a self-imposed sex ban. In 2010, she told fans in England while on a tour for MAC’s Viva Glam campaign.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this — don’t have sex,” she said. “I’m single right now and I’ve chosen to be single because I don’t have the time to get to know anybody. So it’s okay not to have sex, it’s okay to get to know people. I’m celibate, celibacy’s fine.” Preach, Gaga!

Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin are seen walking on August 13, 2018 in New York City.
Photo by Gotham / GC Images / Getty Images
Photo by Gotham / GC Images / Getty Images

In an interview with Vogue, Justin Bieber got super candid about his decision to abstain from sex.

Bieber said that when he and Hailey Baldwin (pictured) resumed their relationship in June of 2018, he had been in the midst of a “self-imposed tenure of celibacy” for more than a year.

Normalize Not Wanting To Have Sex

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Photo Credit: Christopher Alvarenga / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Christopher Alvarenga / Unsplash

There’s this underlying assumption that we have to want to have sex all the time. And that if we don’t, there’s something wrong with us, or we’re weird.

We should normalize NOT wanting to have sex, and embrace people’s decisions to want to be celibate.

If You Want To Try Out Celibacy

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Photo Credit: Brooke Cagle / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Brooke Cagle / Unsplash

First, do your research! Learn more about the benefits that celibacy has to offer, but you also need to know what you’re getting into.

This promise is something that takes practice and commitment to carry out. Make sure to define your boundaries, because celibacy doesn’t look the same to everyone.