Why Staying Single For A While Will Help Make Your Next Relationship Successful
There are a lot of great reasons why you should try dating yourself for a while. It's sort of an unpopular opinion because people have this weird tendency to assume there must be something wrong with a person who has been single for a while. But that's just simply not true.
Some people have actually found the confidence and self-assurance to exist comfortably on their own for long periods of time. Gasp! What a concept. My experience has taught me that it's important to fully understand who you are as a person before you can ever completely give yourself to a partner. Also, that there's a stark difference between being alone, and being lonely. Let me explain.
Your Bonds With Your Friends And Family Will Strengthen
When you don't have a partner to constantly lean on for emotional support, you'll find yourself turning to your close friends and family a little bit more.
Being single will give you a new appreciation for all of the other relationships in your life. Not only that, but your other relationships tend to totally thrive when you're able to dedicate more time to those people.
You Can Take Yourself On Dates
Use the money you would spend dating a partner to treat yourself once in a while. Some of the best wining and dining experiences can happen all by your lonesome, believe it or not. Set up a movie night with your favorite snacks, invite friends, or don't. Go get a pedicure or hang out on a patio for a few drinks in the sun—by yourself.
Self-dating encourages independence but it also may help you determine some of your favorite date ideas, which hopefully you can try out with a future partner.
You Need To Develop Your Own (Uninfluenced) Opinions About Important Issues
Have you ever dated someone who makes you hope and pray that certain topics don't come up when you're out socializing, like political or religious views for instance?
When you become complacent in a relationship, you stop challenging one another's opinions. Often you may find yourself agreeing with your partner on certain topics just because it's easier to. Over time, you don't really have an original opinion that hasn't been influenced by the other person in some way.
This is why it's massively important to go into a new relationship with a strong understanding of your own individual viewpoints, values, and how flexible you're willing to be. It's best to figure those out on your own without someone else offering their input, good or bad.
Traveling Alone Teaches You More Than You Could Ever Learn With A Partner
If you find yourself single and confused about what the next step is, book a trip. Visit somewhere you've wanted to go for a while, or even just a small B&B in another town nearby. Nobody to go with? No problem.
There's something about getting away by yourself for a period of time that helps clear your mind. When traveling alone, especially in foreign places, you'll find that you have to engage with people who you wouldn't usually chat with. It opens up opportunities for you to accomplish things on your own, even if it's only to prove to yourself that you can do it. Future partners will be able to recognize your independence right away.
You Can Casually Date Other People
If you decide to try dating around, communicate early on with your dates that's what you're doing. Most people are understanding that it's a weird dating game when you're single and there's a lot of trial and error to see if you're compatible with someone.
Going on random dates with new people here and there is a good way to help you get over the nerves of re-entering the dating pool. It will also help you recognize the traits and characteristics that make someone appear attractive to you.
The Best Time To Reflect On Your Last Relationship Is When You're Far Away From It
It's hard to have an objective view of your last partner when you're stuck maintaining a strange relationship with them. If you're still communicating with your ex or hooking up once in a while, there's no way you're ever going to be able to fully see the relationship for what it was.
Distance yourself from your last relationship. When your emotions settle down it becomes much easier to see why it didn't work and what to avoid in the future.
Being Single Is A Good Time To Do Some "Research"
When you're single it can feel like everyone around you is in a happy, loving relationship (which they're not, you're just hyper-aware of couples when you're not a part of one).
It's a good time to listen to your friends when they rant and rave about their current relationships. What works for them, what doesn't work? Pay attention to the couples around you and ask yourself questions like, "What are the parts of their relationships that I'm attracted to? What are the parts that I never want to experience?"
You Are Your Own Greatest Critic
It's not surprising that we often value our partner's opinions over everyone else's. The trap is easy to fall into because it can be devastating when someone you love criticizes you. The opposite effect is the euphoric feeling when that same person praises you for something.
Sometimes it takes being single to realize that you don't need a partner to tell you the things they like or dislike about you. You can offer yourself praise and criticism when necessary and recognize when it's unwarranted from the person you're dating.
You Can Be A Total Weirdo
Ideally, you can be a total weirdo in your relationship as well. But it's a lot harder to feel comfortable being yourself around new partners. When you're single, you're free to dress, act, and behave however your heart desires depending on the day.
It's a fun way to embrace being yourself at all times, and not muting certain parts of your personality to be in a relationship.
You Can Embrace Being Alone
It is possible to wrap your head around the fact that it's actually pretty nice not to have the responsibilities of a relationship. There's no constant worry about texting someone back or making time in your schedule to see them or their family.
If you can shift your perspective to see the freedom in being alone, you'll realize that spending time being single doesn't have to mean you're heartbroken and lonely. You could actually be the best version of yourself.
