Dating in your early 20s can sometimes feel like you’re playing the world’s least fair sport. There’s a competitive element to it that’s hard to get around no matter how you approach dating in your younger years.
Some people find it’s actually harder to date in their 30s, but others are fully embracing the perks that come with looking for love when both partners are a little more mature.
Your Perspectives On Finding Love Shift As You Age
It’s not surprising that as you mature, so do your standards for a relationship.
There are quite a few ways that your perspectives on finding love will change as you age and often it’s for the better.
You’re Thinking Long-Term Instead Of Short-Term
When you get into your 30s you tend to start thinking about things with a longer-term mindset in most areas of your life, including dating.
It’s not because you’re running out of time or because your options are dwindling.
You Realize How The Decisions You Make Can Affect Your Future
When you start to become more future-focused, you recognize how the decisions you make can affect your life in the long run, as opposed to just the next few weeks.
Somebody who may have once seemed like a great potential partner will seem way less appealing if you can’t see any kind of normal future with them.
You Know Exactly What Your Deal Breakers Are And How To Avoid Them
At this stage in the dating game, you should be well aware of what your deal breakers in a relationship are so that you can spot them and avoid them long before they cause chaos in your love life.
A benefit to dating in your 30s is having a better understanding of the things that you absolutely cannot tolerate in a relationship.
You’ll Be Better Prepared To Catch The Curveballs You Encounter
Of course, there will still be curveballs in your 30s to teach you some lessons, but you’ll be better prepared to catch them.
You’ll also probably be less blindsided when certain things don’t work out.
You Know How To Avoid Making The Same Mistakes
After you’ve dated a few people, you’ve likely made one or two mistakes you want to avoid in the future.
Another benefit to dating during and after your 30s is knowing exactly what to avoid doing in your next relationship. You can apply the lessons you learned in your 20s and stop repeating old toxic behaviors.
Knowing What You’re Worth And What You Bring To A Relationship
Understanding what you bring to a relationship and what you deserve out of one really only comes with age and experience.
When you’re in your 30s, your threshold for BS should be a lot lower. Heartbreak should sting a little less because you know that you’re freaking amazing and you can bounce back.
You Are Better Able To Handle The Bad Moments When They Do Happen
Of course, you’re not going to be immune to heartbreak. You will, however, be able to process it differently if you do happen to feel the burn of rejection or a breakup.
The painful moments will seem less like the end of the world, and more like a crappy bump in the road.
Milestones Can Feel Daunting In Your 20s
Milestones like moving in together, getting engaged, married, or starting a family will always be significant events in a couple’s relationship.
When you’re in your 20s, these milestones can feel like cataclysmic events that cement your future into place, which can be kind of scary.
Relationship Milestones Are Less Terrifying In Your 30s
In your 30s and the years following, milestones seem less daunting. Partially because you have watched your friends and family reach similar milestones in their lives.
Another reason the milestones seem less intimidating is that you’re probably better settled in other areas of your life and therefore better suited to make big decisions.
It’s Not A Race—Great Connections Can’t Be Rushed Or Forced
It has never been a race to find a partner even though it can overwhelmingly feel like it sometimes.
Fortunately, as you get a little older and a little wiser, you come to realize that there is no timeline for finding the perfect partner. Great connections happen when they happen and can’t be forced.
Younger Couples Tend To Have More Superficial Values
The qualities you’re searching for in a partner may be different in your 30s than they were in your 20s.
For instance, younger couples tend to have a more superficial view of relationships, valuing physical attraction, money, and sexual connection.
The Values And Qualities You’re Looking For In A Partner May Have Changed
Someone who has a bit more experience may find that the values they want in a partner have changed over time.
For instance, it’s more common for someone in their 30s to value a partner they can trust, someone who has the same views, life goals, and good communication skills.
You’re More Likely To Walk Away When It’s Not Working
When you’re younger and less confident, you’re more likely to stay in a dead-end relationship long after it stops working.
In your 30s, you’re less likely to sacrifice your happiness over the fear of being alone. It’s obvious that if your needs aren’t being met, it’s not worth staying.
You Know How To Use Your Voice And Communicate Your Feelings
Sometimes it’s challenging to understand your own feelings and emotions, making it even harder to explain them to a partner.
In your 30s, you become more confident when it comes to discussing things that are bothering you. You are better able to tell your partner exactly what you want and need. This takes practice, which is why it gets easier as you get older.
You’re More Comfortable With Being Single
At this point in your dating life, you’re less afraid to spend some time single.
Self-love and confidence make you feel more secure about being alone, and you’re more comfortable with the idea that being that alone doesn’t have to mean lonely.