Men Share The Unrealistic Standards Women Hold Them To, And They’re Sick Of It
When it comes to relationships, a lot of people have unrealistic expectations about how things are going to go—some people really think their love story will be something out of a fairy tale. More specifically, some people set unrealistic or unfair standards for what a partner should be like.
These men shared the most common unrealistic standards they're sick of women holding them to.
Killing Spiders Is Unpleasant For Everyone
"That men have to kill the household pests. I HATE spiders!" —Reddit / shootyboots1
No one likes to have to squish the spider in the hallway. Spider squishing responsibilities should be 50/50.
Making Moves Is Scary
"Men often have a lot of pressure on us to make the moves: we're still (generally speaking) supposed to ask her out, go for that first kiss with confidence, and take the lead in the bedroom." —Reddit / yellowjacket81
That's a lot of pressure to be under all the time, and it should probably change.
Dealbreaker Is A Bit Dramatic
"I really don't get the whole 'height' deal.
"It's not in our control whether we grow to be over 6 feet tall or not, but a lot of women use height as a dealbreaker." —Reddit / Inevitable_Usual3553
We're All Poor, Becky
"The eventual 'my money is my money, your money is our money' attitude.
"Very quickly, in most of the relationships my friends and I have been in, the man is paying for more things. Many times, the household budget is shared, but luxury items, emergency items, and expectations for elaborate gifts and experiences are pretty much on the man to provide and source." —Reddit / Rumble73
Success Isn't Always About Academics/Careers
"Women are outperforming men in college admissions, but a lot of them seem to still be looking for a guy more accomplished than them. There's simply not enough guys who tick those boxes to go around.
"I can get not wanting to baby an unemployed guy, but it is kind of unrealistic nowadays." —Reddit / milkman_frisian
Physical Fitness Takes A Lot Of Regular Work
"I've been into powerlifting for a while and I'm pretty jacked as a result. Women want a jacked guy, but they want a jacked guy that doesn't spend too much time in the gym, never talks about the gym, and bakes and eats junk food with her.
"They want the result of the hard work with none of the hard work attached." —Reddit / FauxCannon
Your Happiness Isn't His Responsibility
"Of course you should want to be happy with your man, but don't expect it to be his full-time job to make you happy. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness in life.
"If you're not happy, then fix it yourself. Don't just be miserable all the time because he's not catering to your every emotion." —Reddit / JD7684
I Have To Say, I Agree
"Reading her mind. Please, just tell me what you want and say what you mean.
"I'm happy to help you or do something you want but you have to say something to me about it." —Reddit / Oakheart-
No One Knows How To Use Tools Anymore
"Being good at everything that involves tools." —Reddit / real-realg
Maybe it was fair back in the day when boys regularly were educated in trades in school while women were taught about domestic skills, but there's really no reason to expect manual work skills anymore.
Boyfriends Are Not DIY-Projects
"I've been with women that see you as a kind of improvement project. They apply as much pressure as necessary to get you to change.
"I'm all for give and take, but if you get together with someone to try and remake them into someone completely different, then maybe you shouldn't be with them in the first place." —Reddit / FrankDelahue
People Who Need To Be Entertained Are So High-Maintenance
"The reason I broke up with my last girlfriend was that she constantly complained that she was bored if I didn't entertain her somehow.
"I'd just want to watch something, play a game, read or be by myself, and she'd try to make me feel bad about it. I'm a funny guy who likes to have fun, but I'm not a clown nor an entertainer." —Reddit / AnteatereatingAnt1
It Goes Both Ways
"Communication. Some women expect men to talk to them when something is wrong, but then when asking them what the problem is, the women respond, 'nothing' or 'I’m fine' and it's considered acceptable or normal." —Reddit / Jim_from_snowy_river
If you're not communicating what you need, he won't ever know.
Let Him Feel All Of His Feelings
"Being emotional but, at the same time, hard as a rock." —Reddit / ghost882
Society as a whole tends to look down upon men who regularly express a full range of emotions, but it's really unfair to expect them to fit a specific mold.
Planning Dates Does Take A Lot Of Work
"That men have to put in all the work when dating. I've lost count of the girls I’ve been 'dating' that wouldn’t look to set up dates or organizing dinners out for fear that they might seem boring or choose the wrong place.
"It seems crazy to me that you may like someone but never set up a date because internally you can’t be bothered or there is something socially stopping you." —Reddit / s199320
Maybe We Should All Just Stop Talking About Others' Bodies
"Some women have pretty skewed perceptions when it comes to the male body, and how much work it takes to get there.
"I've heard some women say stuff like, 'I prefer a natural-looking guy, I don't like too many muscles,' which is fine, but then when they show you what they consider 'naturally fit' to be and it's still some guy with less than 10% body fat, hits the gym six days a week, and has crazy diet discipline. That look doesn't just happen by accident." —Reddit / amiyuglyornotemate
Gender Trait Expectations Are Stupid Anyway
"An oddly specific one: the alarmingly low standard that women will have to immediately dismiss a guy as 'not masculine enough.'
"In a society where gender roles/expectations are supposed to matter less, many women will often dismiss a guy who doesn’t fit the stereotypical 'chiseled, stoic, tall masculine' norm." —Reddit / Brainless-Wonder
You Can't Have It All
"Being a provider and giving her a certain kind of lifestyle without being a complete workaholic." —Reddit / ghost882
If you want a guy who makes a lot of money, you have to expect that he'll spend more time working and less with you. You can't have it all.
It's Okay To Just Exist Sometimes
"That you always need to be 'improving yourself' even if you are comfortable and happy in your routine. If you exercise regularly and make a livable amount and I'm happy, I don't see why I need to keep changing things.
"I'm my own person and I'd never expect someone to constantly change or 'improve' for me." —Reddit / ButterscotchLimp
It's Exhausting, You Know?
"Some women seem to expect guys to carry the conversation all the time—they don't ask many questions to the guy and then seem upset the only guys they meet up with are either lying to get laid or desperate.
"In my case, it gets quite tiring trying to really meet someone to date. Ultimately how can I be excited to date you if I'm doing all the heavy lifting and you're not putting any effort in?" —Reddit / milkman_frisian
A Little Reciprocity Would Be Nice
"Expecting to receive flowers, chocolates, wine, etc. from your man but never reciprocating. Getting a 6 pack of their favorite beer or a book you think they will like, or something similar can go a long way.
"My wife couldn't believe it when we were dating and I told her she was the first one that had ever done something like that while dating." —PikachuFap
He Still Has Eyes
"I think the most unreasonable thing is to expect—no, demand!—your man to not find other women attractive anymore as soon as he's in a relationship with you.
"He can't look at other women anymore, let alone talk to them. He can't 'like' their social media posts or pictures. It's controlling and possessive." —Reddit / CooperDale2017
Normalize Paternal Leave And Stay-At-Home Dads
"The role of parenting/caregiving for kids still slightly amazes me. It's still widely expected that after having children a father will provide and the potential goal would be for him to earn enough for his wife to be a stay-at-home parent (if she chooses).
"I think the idea that a man may want to take time off from career to look after kids or even to take shared parental leave is still far from being accepted by a lot of women." —Reddit / bammya247
He's A Lover, Not A Fighter
"One thing I hate is when they expect us to defend them against strangers, sometimes physically.
"Like my girlfriend would always start something up in public and expect me to fight some dude if she was disrespected. Like, woman: you started this." —Reddit / TheDarkKnight1035
Everyone Needs Hobbies And Things They Do For Themselves
"We have hobbies that were there before you—and will be there after you.
"Don't make us into villains for taking time to do the things that make us happy." —Reddit / _Levergun
Getting Spoiled Should Be A Treat, Not A Constant
"Some women still have the view that men should spoil them and pay for the majority of things.
"If you fall short of the mark, you are cheap and are somehow not really interested." —Reddit
Give Men Compliments And Cuddles!
"The idea of male emotional stoicism is frustrating. Because of this stereotype, men don't get complimented a whole lot. If you've got a man in your life and there's something you like about him, say it!
"Also, we like hugs and cuddles. Sometimes we need them." —Reddit / CaptainSpeakeasy
You Can't Have Your Cake And Eat It Too
"So many women will expect a guy to be fit while still spending lots of time with them watching Netflix and eating junk food.
"You can't have both" —Reddit / N_Raist
There's Barely Enough Time To Make A First Impression
"I feel like women (20–29) on dating apps decide whether it's worth keep talking to you or not based on the first 3–5 messages.
"Sometimes I feel like I don't even have to time to open up." —Reddit / Hyyyyh
At This Point, I Just Want A Boyfriend With Basic Emotional Intelligence
"I always hear people griping about this set of criteria, but frankly I have never actually seen a lot of women who are that picky (in fairness, maybe I am swiping past them on dating apps). A lot of my friends (>50%) are women, some of whom have been with dudes like that in the past, and the general consensus seems to be that the single most attractive thing a man can do is listen and not invalidate their feelings about something.
"It seems like a basic task, but I guess we must be bad at it as a group because three different women have said I was the only male they ever knew who was like that to them." —Reddit / Dr_seven
Some Complaints Are Not All That Representative Of The Dating Scene
"Honestly, I don't think most women have particularly tyrannical standards. Sure, if you want a supermodel gold digger Insta-Barbie girlfriend, you may have to be either incredibly hot or incredibly wealthy, which is a lot to ask of men. But the overwhelming majority of women (in my observation) only require that your life is put together, that you're self-sufficient, your self-care is good, that you can carry your responsibilities, and are prepared to take on additional ones as an equal partner when required.
"Unfortunately, these things can feel very demanding and unreasonable to a man when his life is a catastrophe and he doesn't hold himself accountable for anything because he stalled in his development during late adolescence." —Reddit / SerPuissance
