Tweets About Working Out For Everyone Who Absolutely Dreads It

Listen, we know we should be doing it and that it’s “good” for us or whatever, but going to the gym takes such an emotional toll sometimes. And by sometimes I mean all the time. The place is literally the worst and I’m just thankful Twitter recognizes that.

Here are some tweets for all of us who could think of no worse fate than stepping through those gym doors and *sweating.* Seriously, why does something that’s good for me make my body feel like it’s on fire? That’s a valid issue that we should be addressing here.

Why Else Would You Wear Leggings, I Don’t Understand

Yeah, this is an obvious fact. That’s why it’s called “athleisure” and not “workout clothes.” My clothes need to be sweat-wicking because I’m going to absolutely devour some flamin’ hot Cheetos later.

I Just Don’t Want To Be Present For The Whole Event

If only. There would be nothing better than not to be conscious during the entire thing. They do dentistry while we sleep so we should start working on the technology to work out while we sleep too.

The Hardest Part Of A Workout Is Emotionally Starting The Workout

Glad somebody said it. No shade to all these fitness influencers but good God not everyone has the emotional capacity as you. Just the neon sign of my local gym sends me spiraling and straight back to my couch-womb.

She Will Be Dearly Missed

Girl, I am pouring one out for you and donating to your Patreon as we speak. There are few fates worse than death than the gym, but we’re praying for her well being in this difficult time.

The Pre-Workout Snack Is The Only Silver Lining

Carbs give you energy so it’s technically good right? That’s why runners eat a mountain of pasta the night before the race. It definitely beats drinking the pre-workout stuff that probably has bull blood in it and tastes like a literal heart attack.

Ah, Productivity, Who Is She?

This is the old Catch 22. If you do workout, you hate yourself, but if you don’t work out, you just procrastinate all the other work you should be doing and hate yourself. I don’t know the solution, but it’s not homework that’s for sure.

Pedal So Hard You Can’t Hear Soul Cycle’s Questionable Music

I mean, honestly, I would never be caught dead listening to the Shrek 2 original soundtrack, but I can’t deny that these are the bops on the instructor’s playlist that get me through the uphills. Come through Accidentally In Love.

The New Reason We’re Not Going

I don’t want to ever see this in my entire life. Sure, it’s “funny” and “eco-friendly” but I don’t feel friendly feelings thinking about it. I’m not even going to get into how hard it would be to get a heavy stream of water out.

It Turns Out Rage Is Great Cardio

If you’ve ever felt drained after a heated argument, well, here’s why. Rage, anxiety, and stress naturally give our cardio a boost. So next time someone tells you to “calm down,” tell them you’re practicing self-care.

Make Spooky Season Also Slim Thicc Season

Oh baby, does it ever. The midnight run is great to just get you running for your life. Luckily, he’s a guy, so the chances of him being murdered or anything else are minimal comparatively.

Take The Day To Think Over Going

Honestly, you need to sleep on such a big decision. Don’t just rashly decide to go to the gym or you may find yourself suddenly roped into doing a Zoomba class, or worse, kickboxing.

When Even Your Sweat Stains Think You Need To Evaluate Your Decisions

I’d diagnose him with the extreme delusion that spin class is somehow fun and worth even doing. Even his shirt is asking him what he sees in the activity. I only see pain.

Arm Curls Won’t Let Us Reach Our True Forms Tho

The outside is never going to match the inside, and that’s the hard truth. Even though our souls are screaming that we’re a demonic creature sent from the darkness to rule, our bodies will still always be so soft and meaty.

There’s Something About That Gym Lighting

Ya’ll need to learn to stop doing this by now. Most gyms have “no photos” policies that really don’t seem to apply when someone’s really feeling themselves. Doesn’t matter if the rest of us are dying from heart palpitations on the ellipticals in the back.

People From LA Just Eat At Tendergreens And Workout All The Time Right?

This tweet confirms all the suspicions we probably have about LA people. We see you out here on Instagram getting smoothies every day and we’re confused about how you squeeze working out into that schedule.

Malcolm Is A Hero

Malcolm is out here being a moral compass for all of us and we should listen to his wise words here. The one time we actually make it to the gym and experience agony, the last thing we want to do is have to wait behind some fool using the bench as their own personal chill area.

We All Know The Song, But It’s Just Not True

Drake, can you please tell me where you heard that working out will solve everything because clearly my life is still a mess. Sure, I can run a mile now but I’m still deeply in debt.

You Can Tell Someone’s A Teacher’s Pet At Spin When They Actually Try

Not sure who this man was dissing but we know the type he’s referring to. They’re the ones who pedal right in the front and are decked out in the Soul Cycle merch just to show their allegiance. I mean, support.

This Is Clearly Directed At Someone Specific But… We All Know This Jerk

This specifically directed hate is highly relatable. Some people just don’t feel like the “rack your weights” sign applies to them, nor is it more than a suggestion. It only bothers me because I know I’d be the one to trip and die over the dumbbell they left.

Wrong Kinda Gym… Actually No

This is the kind of workout that actually makes sense for real life. Why would I ever need to run a mile when cars and buses exist? I need to be aspiring to reach a gym leader fitness level so I can finally beat my friends in Pokémon GO.