Tweets About Being A Twentysomething “Adult” That Hit Hard
Being a twentysomething is a weird time in your life because you're technically an adult, but are you really? You're probably still in school for the first few years of your twenties, then you're thrown into adulthood and all of a sudden people are starting careers, getting engaged, having babies on purpose — it's like the wild west.
You quickly realize that you're not as prepared as you thought you were and that there's a lot that no one warned you about.
It's Not A Punishment Anymore
All those times that you thought they were punishing you, they were actually just helping you prepare for your future where'd you voluntarily spend as much time alone in your room as humanly possible.
You'll Eat What You Bought, And You Better Like It
Wasting food slaps differently than it used to. When you were a broke college student, you justified throwing out expired food because you were a young, fun student, but now you're a broke adult and you're going to stay in for dinner because that hummus you bought is almost expired.
What If There Was A Work Emergency Overnight?
In your past life, aka before you became a relatively normal functioning member of society, the first thing you'd do in the morning was check your Insta and Snap stories to make sure neither you nor your friends posted anything embarrassing. Now you check your emails, and that shows growth.
You Do More Than One Thing A Day?!
The thought of having to actually do things after you leave work is exhausting. How do people go out during the week or go to the gym on the way home? All you can manage to do is go to work, make a mediocre dinner, and then watch Friends until you fall asleep.
It's A Paradox
Turns out when you get a real job you only get 2-3 weeks vacation if you're lucky, instead of that four months every summer and multiple other weeks. All those travel plans that you now have the money for? There's no time.
The Real American Horror Story
That health insurance kicks in, you're excited for all your options now, and then the panic sets in. Now that you have insurance, you're going to have to go to the dentist and the doctor and the optometrist, all those things you've been putting off for years. Even worse, you're going to have to get results back, and you're pretty sure they're not going to be good.
Everything Hurts And You Don't Know Why
You have to learn to accept that this is your life now, and your body is decaying as we speak, even if you are only 23. That pain in your knee? You don't have health insurance so just learn to live with it.
Health Actually Is Wealth, It Wasn't A Lie
You didn't want your mom to be right, but it looks like all those years she spent nagging you about your sleeps habits and your bad posture were actually for your own good.
Go For The Irish Goodbye
Better yet, you probably don't even go to the parties anymore. Now you understand why your parents always wanted to leave gatherings at 9 pm even when you were having fun with your friends.
The Oldest Excuse In The Book
Any twentysomething knows that this is a universal code for "please let me leave and go home to my bed," and luckily, whoever you're with probably also wants to go home, so they're not going to question it.
Everything Becomes Clear
It all makes sense now that you've lived on your own or with roommates and have to always be responsible for your own dishes. There's nothing more infuriating than cleaning everything up, only to return to the kitchen two minutes later to find your roommate made a mess.
Treasured Television
Think of all the years of your life that you wasted telling your mom you wouldn't watch HGTV with her when you could've been binge-watching House Hunters International on a Sunday afternoon. A true joy of adulthood is now you can spend hours watching Property Brothers, and if anyone questions it, just claim you're looking at "investing in the market" or something. It'll seem like you have your life together.
There Is No Magical House Elf To Buy Groceries
What do you mean when the ketchup bottle runs out another one doesn't just magically reappear in the fridge? You thought you understood how expensive being an adult was, but now that you're a working adult and you expect to have a fridge that actually contains edible food, you also have to spend half your paycheck on things like electricity! Adulthood is a scam.
Can You Define "Adult" ??
You've graduated college and you've moved out of your parent's house, or maybe you just moved into your first apartment without roommates. Whatever it is, there's no one to take care of you now, and you're not sure that you're up to the job, but you have no choice.
A Whirlwind Of Crises
Hope you learned proper time management skills while you were in school, because you're going to need it when that quarter-life crisis hits you a couple of years earlier than you were expecting.
Why Does Everything Cost Money
You thought you'd never experience that kind of anxiety again but what no one told you is that it literally only gets worse. Now you have to worry every month about whether or not you have enough for your car payments and those new work clothes you ordered from H&M that you convinced yourself were necessities.
You Can Only Blame Yourself
(Almost) everything your mom got mad at you for when you were a kid now makes sense as an adult. You're the only one responsible for not defrosting the chicken. You have no one to blame but yourself, and it's a dark realization.
Only 40 Years Until Retirement
Wait, we have to work for how many more years?? It's like when women who have had babies never warn pregnant women about how much giving birth actually hurts. We knew being out of school would be nice, but no one warned us about how much working every day till you die sucks.
You Regret The Naps You Don't Take
Life seems so much more exhausting once you pass 22. No one likes you when you're 23, and it's probably because everyone is exhausted and wishes they could be napping on their couch while "watching golf."
Do People Actually Answer Their Phone Calls?
Remember when you were younger and you'd be excited about someone calling you on the phone? Those days are long gone. Phone calls now only serve to induce severe panic, and there's basically a 0 in 10 chance that you're going to call that person back.
